He was madly in love with me then he completely changed overnight

[Xuniquex63]

Ok so I need some advice on my current situation. Me and my ex were together for 5 months we just broke up about 2 weeks ago and I moved out a week prior because of another incident he caused. We were still in contact with eachother he was really trying to get me back because he messed up bad that last time (he's messed up a lot but I always forgave him, only when he drinks though otherwise he's the perfect man and never cheated on me). I didn't really say yes or no to getting back together but I still had anger towards him for what he did so we would argue and come to find out during the time he was trying to get me back he was talking to another girl. Of course telling her that I'm the crazy one anything she needed to hear. So that hurt more then ever because she sent me screenshots of their conversations and he was already saying he misses her and calling her baby. At this point I'm devastated. I finally tell him that I want to work things out and start over, then he became confused. I told him to end things with her but kept coming up with excuses. After that I told him I shouldn't compete so that I was done, then at that point he started calling and asked if we can start over, and me still being in my hurt and angry state of mind I said no. Now they are officially together and I finally turned into the psycho girl texting him non stop begging him not to do this to us that we had so much planned for our future and family, and he would ignore me. Then his gf gets involved and tell me to leave him alone, answering his phone, that their together and sexually active and spend every night together. I begged, said hurtful things even sent him showing that I hooked up with someone else. Told him I loved him with all my heart that I'm heart broken ect... I finally apologized to them both for the drama and texts/calls. But what I want to know is if there's still a chance that she's just the rebound girl and he'll come back. Or did I push him away by begging, and acting desperate.... Just over a week ago I have texts of him telling me he loves me with all his heart and wants to marry me and him me and his daughter be a family, but now I get nothing. No response. And all my desperate texts he sends her. How did he turn on me so quick? But he did tell me he got with her because they don't fight and he can actually talk to her without her getting mad. I tried telling him me and him started out great too but we starting having problems and I know they will too but he refuses to listen. What do you think I should do? And what do you think will happen? Is this just the rebound girl and he's going to come crawling back when he realizes he messed up?

[kathy679]

If someone goes straIght out wIth someone else then thats what a rebound Is so Yeah she's a rebound. Will he come back? Who knows? Do you want him back now he's gone off with someone else? If I was you I would take yourself completely out of the picture, go no contact and start getting on with your life.

If you try to reason with him he won't listen, people need to find these things out for themselves, so give him the space to do that.

Stop the constant texting him, the only thing you are doing Here is making yourself look desperate anf deranged, he won't even respect you for that let alone want you back.

Why do you even want him back, if you always fight it sounds like your not compatible.

Are you sure your not reacting out of fear and because you don't want to be on your own? Because that's what it sounds like to me.

[Xuniquex63]

Before him I was single for almost 3 years I'm completely fine being alone. I know I love him and his little 6 year old girl and I just miss our family. We have been struggling financially and occasionally that turns to him drinking which is a negative outcome. I love him enough to work things out. But I just want to know if he's gone forever, or he will be coming back when he realizes he made a mistake.

[kathy679]

No body knows the answer to that. The best thing you can do is to go no contact. Then if he comes back you will be happy. And if he doesn't then your on the best path to healing.

As I've said before contacting him constantly and telling him he's making a mistake won't work, go full no contact.

[polaris]

It's a really tough thing when this happens - it happened to me in my recent relationship. Massively in love, told that she can't stop thinking about me, absolutely adores me, have her heart a hundred times over. Two days and one argument later, it's over and "don't contact me again", and a week later that remains the case. I suspect there was another guy involved here too, that was the cause of the argument.

 

It just leaves your head spinning, completely knocks you off balance. You have no time at all to prepare for what's coming, no chance to put things right, make it better. It's just *wham* and you're done.

 

I wish I had something helpful to say, given how much I can imagine it hurts for you right now, but honestly all I can say is that at some point they'll realise. That might take a while, though, and hopefully you and I will be long past them by then.

[Wiseman2]

At 5 months, in moving in is way too much too soon, also his child is not 'your little family'. He's an alcoholic and that is a huge red flag.

 

He's cheating on you and he drinks. Go no contact and quit while you're ahead, he's a loser.

Me and my ex were together for 5 months. 2 weeks ago and I moved out. I still had anger towards him for what he did so we would argue and come to find out during the time he was trying to get me back he was talking to another girl. I just miss our family. We have been struggling financially and occasionally that turns to him drinking which is a negative outcome

[lucidious]

It's over. He's in a relationship with someone else. Let it go and move on, he did.

[DancingFool]

Before him I was single for almost 3 years I'm completely fine being alone. I know I love him and his little 6 year old girl and I just miss our family. We have been struggling financially and occasionally that turns to him drinking which is a negative outcome. I love him enough to work things out. But I just want to know if he's gone forever, or he will be coming back when he realizes he made a mistake.

 

I think you need to be honest with yourself here at least a little bit. After three years of being alone, you were anything but fine and were/are absolutely starved for a relationship and companionship. It's only natural as we humans aren't solitary creatures for the most part. Which is why you fell so hard for an unhinged lying cheating alcoholic who offered you an instant relationship which was neither sane nor healthy and certainly had little to do with true love and perhaps a lot to do with lust on his part and extreme loneliness and desire for love on your part.

 

Once you can acknowledge the above, then perhaps you can actually open your eyes, realize that you deserve better than a cheating alcoholic, that his child is not your little family and that anyone who looks to move in with you and create an instant relationship filled with so much drama in a span of just 5 months was not the right choice or decision for you. THEN you can clear your head, start dating being a whole lot more choosy on how you go about it, take your time getting to know different men before you leap into anything so you can have a good relationship for yourself and the life that you crave to have. However, it really starts with being honest with yourself about what you want and then figuring out how to go about getting it. Getting strung up in the mess that you got strung up in would be taking the wrong path. So use that as a lesson in what not to do going forward.

[shiner501]

It's a really tough thing when this happens - it happened to me in my recent relationship. Massively in love, told that she can't stop thinking about me, absolutely adores me, have her heart a hundred times over. Two days and one argument later, it's over and "don't contact me again", and a week later that remains the case. I suspect there was another guy involved here too, that was the cause of the argument.

 

It just leaves your head spinning, completely knocks you off balance. You have no time at all to prepare for what's coming, no chance to put things right, make it better. It's just *wham* and you're done.

 

I wish I had something helpful to say, given how much I can imagine it hurts for you right now, but honestly all I can say is that at some point they'll realise. That might take a while, though, and hopefully you and I will be long past them by then.

 

Polaris, when relationships end like this, suddenly, after things were seemingly perfect, there is almost always someone else in the picture. It has happened to me recently as well. Sailing along great and bang! - broke-up with me for no reason. Either that or they have a serious psychological problem holding down a committed relationship. Either way, you're best off out. I know it hurts but best find out now rather than a few years down the road. People like this never change.