mom sick in ICU tonight

[musicman777]

Hello everyone, well I come around here a lot and wanted to share some news about my mom. I just gotta vent at this point at 3AM. I'm scared and upset. She is currently in the ICU in really bad shape and I can't sleep or relax or anything.

To make a long story short. My mother has a hiatal hernia that is very big and she kept putting off surgery forever. Finally it caught up to her this past week. It got so large, it pushed into her lungs. She started passing out constantly, getting confused, didn't want to eat. We didn't know it was the hernia at first and I thought she might have a sickness/virus or something because she would act normal but have these bizarre symptoms. Yesterday (Monday), she made a turn for the worst. She had to be taken to the hospital by ambulance in the morning. And then throughout the day, she got so bad they had to put her on a breathing tube in the ICU.

 

I wasn't sure if I wanted to visit until I hear she was in the ICU (she was so confused and tired before that, I wasn't sure I could even talk to her). Me and my sister went to see her and they have her sedated and everything. Seeing her in the ICU is hands down one of the most horrific and upsetting things I've ever seen in my life. Just the past week she is walking around talking and everything and now she's like this, and i wish I took her to the hospital sooner but I didn't know what was happening to her, it was very bizarre symptoms. She also went to her regular doc earlier in the week, the did test and didn't find nothing wrong with her heart, bloodwork, and things. Completely unconcious. She also got so bad over there she dropped her phone, her brand new Galaxy S7 Edge I bought her and cracked the screen good. I felt upset just seeing that, that phone was part of her, she loved playing on it. And I have no insurance on it.

The doctor on duty was fortunately very bright, probably one of the best MD's I've ever met. She figured out how/why she was getting confused/falling asleep over this, and it had to do with carbon dioxide building up in her lungs from short lung capacity. Her vitals were also good.

 

Tomorrow morning she is being evaluated by a surgeon to have the hernia removed. They are being vague so far on the surgery business as the regular doctors can't really say anything about that, only the surgeon. They just keeping saying he'll be there in the morning, they don't even say what time. I'm really sick and crying, I can't sleep, I'm running on two hours of sleep now. They speak optimistically that she will recover and things from it but I am afraid I am going to lose my mom and my last memory of her alive is with tubes and machines running through her. I feel bad for my dog, too. He's like family to us, like her second son, he don't know what's going on or where she is.

[SherrySher]

I am so so sorry to hear this Musicman. I really do hope that everything goes well with your Mom and that she comes through this just fine and that you had many more years with her. I will be thinking good thoughts and sending out good wishes and hoping you have good news for us regarding your Mom. Sending hugs. Try and get some rest when you can.

[kbbcoop77]

It's a good sign they are optimistic about her recovery, my mom was in the icu for liver failure before and I thought for sure she was a goner but the doctors didn't and she pulled through, it's amazing what they can do. Just have faith, I'm sure she'll be ok and once she has the hernia dealt with she'll be on the road to full recovery

[Fudgie]

I'm really sorry to hear about your mom. It is good that the providers are being optimistic. Hiatal hernias are usually asymptomatic but they can also cause GERD symptoms, which can include aspiration. I had one myself and got it repaired. Keep in mind that when doctors put a breathing tube in someone, it is always because they CAN'T breathe, sometimes it's because they are trying to protect the airway as they stabilize her. I hope she gets well soon. We're here for you.

[SherrySher]

and that you HAVE many more years with her....apologies for my typo.

[Seraphim]

I am sorry to hear that. Just trust that they know what they are doing and your mom will be fine. I will pray for her.

[RainyCoast]

so sorry to hear that musicman.

 

large intra-adbdominal hiatal herias can indeed cause dyspnea when they slide like that, although it is very rare. sometimes they go unnoticed without echocardiography. it's good that the staff are optimistic. depending on what the hernia compressed (pulmonary vein, atrium walls e.g.) her conditin could look dreadful to you because of the symptoms it causes - but as long as they're confident about the surgical correction, that is one huge reason to relax, doctors don't like instilling hope in matters they can't see a viable correction route for.

 

i hope you get some sleep soon. i escorted my mum on her final journey, seven months of a viscious disease, i know just what you mean about the unbearable realisation of their lives being so fragile, your own helplessness, and a potential loss of the parent lurking around the corner.

 

glad her vitals are fine and she is ready for surgery, that is good.

 

take a day or two off work if you can, this is taxing on your nerves and energy levels. this is also when the rest of you family members can be priceless support to one another.

 

sending you and yours good vibes, let us know how it goes.

[Wiseman2]

It sounds like she's in good hands. Hope she has a speedy recovery.

[Chocolate25]

I very much hope for her to get better soon Musicman!! I understand that she gave birth to you and your sister. I don't know your mom well enough. It's important to appreciate and love your mom while you can.

[Capricorn3]

So sorry to hear this. She's in good hands right now and will be looked after well. Wish you all the best.

[musicman777]

Hello everyone,

Thanks for all the replies. I am glad to be able to come to this site not only about the relationship stuff but with things like this. I've come to know many of you by your usernames and some in reality. One of these days I will come out from behind the curtain and post some pics and stuff of me to the rest.

 

My mother is still sedated as of tonight/this morning. They said that her breathing has improved some. The surgeon seen her yesterday and said to wait a day or two to make sure her breathing and overall condition improves. They all seem optimistic and are constantly supervising her. It's just tough with the constant waiting. This morning they said they are going to take her off the ventilator possibly and do some more tests and things.

 

Neither my dad nor I visited yesterday, because she can't talk or anything and there's not much we can do. I don't like seeing her that way, and they also told me the night I did visit we shouldn't talk/stay long because she does gain consciousness ever so slightly and they don't want her getting excited and trying to remove the breathing tube again. I figure it's best for her to just completely rest and let them take care of her, if and when she wakes up then I will pay her a visit. They also said just call them anytime for updates. That didn't stop my sister from going. She went there and put her favorite soap operas on the TV (yes the ICU's have TV here).

 

I bought her a get well card tonight and I'm gonna have everyone I know sign it. I went to grocery store tonight and I used to go there once in a while with my mom late at night, she liked to shop late all the time. I would give anything even just to go to the dumb grocery store again with my mom one more time.

[Fudgie]

Contrary to what many people think, I think it's totally okay for you not to be there right now if it's hard for you. You're right - she is sedated and resting. If seeing her is upsetting to you right now, then there's no point in visiting and getting yourself upset while she's sedated. Hang in there. I'm hopeful for your mom. Try to think of how you will feel when she is improved and you can go late night shopping with her again.

[RainyCoast]

yes, especially if she gets too excited in moments of lucidity, it won't hurt to wait until she's a bit better to visit.

 

hang in there musicman, my thoughts go out to you.

[SherrySher]

Hey musicman...just checking to see how you and your mom are doing...hope all is well.

[musicman777]

Hey musicman...just checking to see how you and your mom are doing...hope all is well.

 

Hi, thanks for asking. Yesterday my mom was taken out of sedation and the breathing tube was removed. She is able to breath on her own again and today I was able to go and see her and talk to her.

 

She still has a very long road ahead of her, though, and still in ICU. She had no idea why she was there. She can barely speak, she's still be fed and things through tubes. She was also talking really depressed. She thinks she is dying, she says she'll never go home and she wants to be burned (cremated). I don't know why she's talking like that, I told her don't think that, she will go home and me and my dog are waiting for her and everyone wants her to get better. Maybe it's the coming out of sedation, drugs, and everything going on. It must be surreal to wake up in ICU and you are 64 years old. She's worried about this hernia business for years.

 

Some of you were going over the details of this. Yes, it is a hiatal hernia. And it's the size of a softball, I mean it's gotten really out of hand. My mother also has scoliosis, which she also never had surgery on even though they wanted to do it. They said because of her scoliosis and the hernia, it gave her lungs hardly any room to get oxygen. She's had this hernia for like 4-5 years at least and kept putting the surgery off forever. She kept thinking there was going to be complications or something because of what her doctor said. Her never doing anything about this resulted in it getting to where it is. I'm also kind of mad at her primary doctor right now. She went to him multiple times over the sleepiness, which was being caused by her hernia pushing into her lungs. He kept saying she has sleep apenia and sleeping problems, that couldn't have been farther from the truth.I don't know why he didn't connect the dots or do more testing, maybe this all could have been avoided. It's like, all he ever would do is bloodwork and an x-ray or something. I go to the same doctor and although sometimes he is very wise with diagnoses other times he is light years off and that concerns me.

 

It just goes to show how much responsibility doctors to and that an incorrect diagnoses can completely ruin someones life or even kill them. What he thought was simple/common sleeping problems led to her now being in ICU. I don't know, that's all for now. I'll post more in the day. One thing that is still a pressing matter is this surgery, and they are being awfully quiet about what they want to do with it.

[Seraphim]

I am glad to know she is doing a lot better. Just tell her she is going to be fine. Try not to affixiate any blame right now. Just keeping encouraging her.

[SherrySher]

I know how frustrating that can be, some doctors just do not pay attention and although I know they are not gods...it sure is upsetting when they're not more careful.

Your mom is more than likely just upset with everything and unsure of it all herself and is thinking the worst case scenarios, though hopefully in time she will see that she is being well taken care of and her nerves will settle.

I hope everything keeps getting better. Please update us when you can, hope you're hanging in there and getting rest as well.

[musicman777]

I know how frustrating that can be, some doctors just do not pay attention and although I know they are not gods...it sure is upsetting when they're not more careful.

Your mom is more than likely just upset with everything and unsure of it all herself and is thinking the worst case scenarios, though hopefully in time she will see that she is being well taken care of and her nerves will settle.

I hope everything keeps getting better. Please update us when you can, hope you're hanging in there and getting rest as well.

 

I went to visit mom again yesterday. She is doing MUCH better now. She is still not 100%, but her communication was much better. She was acting more normal definitely than the day before. Worrying about me driving home in storms from the hospital and telling me to flirt with the nurse she saying "there's one for you" and telling me there's a bunch of good looking doctors/nurses there. She is more worried about me than herself.

 

There are some more developments regarding her health. She has an pneumonia and they also diagnosed her with lung disease now caused by her hiatal hernia pushing into her lungs for too long. I'm getting more and more upset with how her regular doctor diagnosed her. She also has a second hernia I never knew about. And they said working on the bad one is going to be dangerous because she has a second one that could have problems.

 

They want to move her out of ICU into a regular room/bed today if she continues to make progress. But she has a long road ahead of her. She can barely walk right now and cannot really eat anything. Still recovering slowly and she has to get the surgery. She wants to do it now and so do the doctors now, now it's a matter of timing and everything. They said they may or may not transfer her to a bigger hospital in the city to do the surgery. I think they need multiple surgeons on her in case something goes weary with the second hernia.

 

Seriously, if you people ever get or know someone that has any kind of hernias, don't put them off! Because all of this can happen. They can turn into serious health problems eventually.

[kbbcoop77]

Sounds great, modern medicine really is amazing these days. I was sure my mom was going to die but the doctors said no she'll make it and she did. She too had to rehabilitate but she did fine, I'm sure your mom will be ok! Good luck

[musicman777]

Just another update. My mom is being moved to a regular hospital room now out of post-ICU. She is gradually getting better and better. She is even doing better now than the weeks before she was in, because she was getting the tiredness and things and she doesn't seem that way now, fully awake and watching TV and things. They are starting to feed her more, too.

 

She still has a ways to go for recovering. They are considering moving her to a nursing home for a bit until she can walk and things on her own again. But she still has to get this surgery, too. I'm not entirely sure what the game plan is but at least she is not in some critical/dangerous health predicament again.

 

Besides the surgery, I have also made another hard choice as to call a lawyer tomorrow. I am extremely upset with her primary doctor, who we've been VERY loyal patients of for many many years. I think this was a very bad diagnoses he gave her, and I find it ridiculous that she had a pneumonia and he didn't find that just a few days before she went to the hospital. She also has lung disease now from years of this tiredness not properly being treated. I think it would be best if I sought out legal console regarding all this, they will know what is best to do in this situation. I'm not sure if there is a case or not, but I am not going to leave this ignored. I have heard from another person/family friend now that their grandfather died because this same doctor improperly diagnosed someone as not having cancer when they did. Maybe someone this incompetent at medicine shouldn't be practicing it.

[Capricorn3]

Good to hear she's on the road to recovery and being looked after well. Hope her surgery is a great success!

[SherrySher]

Thanks for the updates musicman. Good to hear that she's going in the right direction and is getting diagnosed properly now so she can heal and get better. I think you're doing the right thing in contacting a lawyer. This doctor seems very neglectful and it's dangerous. Happy to hear that things are turning for the better.

[musicman777]

Hello everyone,

Well got some bad news; mom got sent back to the hospital about an hour ago.

 

She's been in the nursing home for several weeks now. I thought she was going to possibly come home this week. And now, in the past 12~ hours, she started getting severe stomach pains. The nursing home called an ambulance. I'm getting tired of going through all of this, I just wish she was back to normal again. This is a lot of drama and anxiety to deal with her constantly being like this. I'll post some more later, my head is spinning.

[IAmFCA]

I'm sorry. Sending well wishes her way and yours.

[Capricorn3]

I'm sorry to hear this. My thoughts are with you.