Am I overreacting?

[Butterflyxx]

My boyfriend was at this party on Saturday and he got very drunk- apparently to the point where he couldn't remember anything and he couldn't walk properly etc.

I got news from this girl who was at the party and she told me that whilst my boyfriend was drunk, he asked her to sleep on an armchair with him.

Some background about this girl- me and her used to be very close friends, and we'd often hang out with my boyfriend and his mate, before me and my boyfriend were dating. She had a massive crush on him and me and her ended up falling out for 1.5 years and not speaking until yesterday when we were having a casual conversation and she told me.

My boyfriend has never had any feelings towards her, and I know that for a fact. She just simply isn't his type and when we all used to meet up he was there because of me (he liked me), and he's always just seen her as a friend. They've never spoken one to one before out of us hanging out, and never met up just them two, so I have no doubt in my mind that he has never had feelings for her.

Me and that girl fell out because she liked my boyfriend and couldn't stand us two together. She would often say embarrassing but true things about me to him in attempt to make me look bad etc, and my boyfriend told me that she was saying embarrassing things about me from my past that I've never told him before as I didn't think it was necessary, but obviously to make me look bad.

I asked my boyfriend about what she told me about the armchair and he told me it definitely wasn't true, and he asked his mates who were with him at the time at the party (he gave me proof of that text message conversation) and asked them if it was said, and they both said it wasn't, and one friend of his told Will that it was actually his other mate who said it.

I know what was said even if it wasn't true isn't extreme, but it could possibly lead to cheating, especially if he said it in a sexual way and I'm worrying about it.

My boyfriend kept telling me that he didn't say it and that he knows how much i dislike her and he'd never do anything to ruin our relationship, and that he was completely drunk at the time and wanted to go home.

Should I just let this go or not?

[Lionsden777]

No I don't think you're over reacting. I think it's fine to question it because generally people don't make these things up from thin air, especially coming from someone you know.

That being said though, this girl doesn't sound trustworthy as she's done cruel things in the past like telling your bf those bad things about you for her own selfish gain of breaking the two of you up.

She has had that intention to break up your relationship before and so it is a big possibility that that's what she did this time. She's probably lied because she jealous or wants you broken up.

[gibepussib0ss]

I think that there's a problem that he's getting drunk and partying without you with other females that you don't trust around. He shouldn't be doing that. Regardless of what may or may not have happened with the armchair and the other girl, you should tell him that if he wants to go partying, you're going with him! Who ever heard of a bad time at a party with their significant other?

[Birdie]

You don't trust him, you never have, so what are you going to do about it?

 

He could have been out of line, hard to tell without really knowing what happened. Up to you if you trust him and let it go, or leave him.

 

Saying he can't go get drunk or go to parties without you is controlling. Drinking to the point of blacking out is immature, but he's a young guy. You can ask him to back off the drinking, but if he chooses not to that's his choice.

[leseine7]

Ah yes, the old "I was too drunk to remember anything" card.

 

True or not, that would be enough for me to hit the brakes on someone I'm dating. I'm 31, so maybe I'm really boring at this point, but all the drama aside (and yes that all factors in against your boyfriend too in my opinion, even if your ex friend was a manipulative weirdo), the blackout drunk nonsense is a deal breaker for me. Especially if I weren't present at the party. It's just a sign of trouble, and always has been, in my experience.

 

That said, no one can know if your friend was telling the truth but that is shady, all around. Sorry you have to deal with it.

[Wiseman2]

Why weren't you at the party? What she said is hearsay. Try not to let your imagination run wild with suspicion about everything. Go places With your bf and don't drink so much.

I got news from this girl who was at the party and she told me that whilst my boyfriend was drunk, he asked her to sleep on an armchair with him. I asked my boyfriend about what she told me about the armchair and he told me it definitely wasn't true