Boyfriend broke up with me

[sherrelle]

My boyfriend of 1yr and a half broke up with me the day after 4th of July. Today is day 6 post breakup and I'm so sad and confused.

He broke up with me because he said he needs to work on himself. He has a crappy job and hasn't finished school. I, on the other hand, just finished school and keep getting job offers and make more money than him. While I was finishing school he was helping me pay bills and being really supportive. Now that I'm becoming successful he seems to have pulled away.

I recently talked to him a few days after the breakup about how much I miss him and want him back (yes I put my pride aside) and he told me I have to let him do this for himself. He even has an opportunity coming his way, but he has to study and focus on that. He told me he loves me and only sees a future with me and he's not thinking of any girl. He said we'll talk and occasionally see each other but he needs to do this on his own. He said he needs to stop being in his phone as much and that he's focusing on himself.

I do start arguments and require attention, but doesn't every girl? I don't know what to do I just know I'm crying daily. I feel that if he really loved me he would want me there as his girlfriend.

My friends tell me to leave him, but I only want him.

Any advice? I'm super hurt.

[Wiseman2]

It would be best to go no contact. He gave you his reasons and that he needs time alone. Don't stay in touch. let go, he knows how to reach you.

He said he needs to stop being in his phone as much and that he's focusing on himself. I do start arguments and require attention, but doesn't every girl?

[nihongo]

I know you want to be there for him, but if you try, it'll probably only push him away.

[appies]

You have to take his word for it, for some people they need to space to develop as a person. Respect his decision and keep working on yourself. Good things will come of this.

[sherrelle]

Thank you guys. I'm just going to leave it alone and see what happens.

[sherrelle]

It's been exactly two weeks and it's not getting any better. I cried all day today and at work. How do I know if it's really over and to not look back? I know it's selfish of me to not want him to better himself, but it's selfish of him to abandon me. I feel unloved and the tattoo of my name on his back means nothing. I don't know what to do anymore.

[ManyDissapoint]

He said he needs to stop being in his phone as much and that he's focusing on himself.

I do start arguments and require attention, but doesn't every girl?

 

No, no they don't. If even you are admitting you start arguments that doesn't sound like coming from the position of trying to resolve problems.

 

Look it's very important for a man to feel good about himself and self respect. If he can't respect himself and his life situation that's when you start seeing some depressive behaviors like laziness and distraction (like his phone use). It's really not a good feeling when your girlfriend pays for you as a man. That's just how it is. If he needs to be by himself to prove he can build himself back up then that's probably what he has to do.

 

You're obviously in pain and I'm sorry for what you're going through. For what it's worth if anyone can get their ex back it's probably you since he does have your name tattood and you're also very beautiful.

[Wiseman2]

He has to live with that every day and explain to anyone who may see it now. It gets better.

the tattoo of my name on his back means nothing.

[sherrelle]

So it's been almost 8 months since he broke up with me. He text me two days ago and told me he's finally getting his life together and wants me back. He got his own place, etc. He told me he'll wait as long as I need. But he really hurt me when he left. I still love him, but I talk to another guy now. Does my ex just want me back because I have someone else? I'm really confused. ):

[KMO7970]

Exes certainly have a way of popping up JUST when we are starting to feel better and move on. This has happened to me so many times! I would say don't jump into anything serious with the new guy, but maybe continue to give him a chance. Dropping everything to run back to a man that up and left you and broke your heart will, in most cases, only lead to more heartbreak down the road. Easier said than done, I know!