Just looking for advise and your thoughts on what has been happening.

[marktristin]

Hey Everyone,

 

I just wanted to say thank you to all the people who are on this website, reading stories and listening to your replies have really helped me even though I have never posted anything until now.

 

My story starts about 3 months ago when My ex and I broke up for the "final" time. For the last year or so we had been going through a lot of respect and trust issues and were having trouble communicating. We had been dating for nearly 6 years and were very involved with each other as far as friends/activities/ and just in general spending time with each other. There had always been fights and issues that we kept pushing through and we had overcame a lot while growing together. The fighting really picked up the last year or so and we would "break up" for a few hours or a day and get back together (not healthy at all). I finally decided to end the relationship back in the beginning of April due do her wanting to have more interest in going out with her friends than with me. I felt as if there was no respect for the time I had taken off for her from working very hard. After a few days I felt that I had over reacted and went back to speak to her. She insisted that she was finally done with me and was talking to other guys already. I was hurt but I felt that if she could speak to other men so fast she really did not care about working things out. Withing the next week I found out that she was already talking to someone else who came down to see her. I was very hurt so I called her and asked her for closure and she said hes a gentleman unlike you and i really like him. This effected me a lot so I stopped talking to her. She deleted me off of every social media and added him to everything.

After a month of no contact she calls me from a random number and I picked up. She asks for advise on her new relationship and asks me to help her/ be her friend still since we were best friends for 6 years. I said there is no way that is happening since I am still in love with you. The following month I decided to get off of social media and work on myself. I had a few more missed calls from random numbers and some from unknown numbers as well (which I now know is her) usually once per week and i did receive a call on what would have been our 6 year anniversary. The mutual friends did not contact me for the whole period until about a week ago and started asking whats up and questions. I know she is still with this guy in a LDR but she has been logging into my old emails, snap chat ( Which i have since changed the password), and calling from random numbers. I am not sure of what she wants and was wondering if this has ever happened to you or anyone you know. I have not picked up her random or unknown calls since the last time we spoke about her wanting to be friends. I did not receive any apology or her feeling any which way about anything. I feel she is just playing games to keep me along and just gets bored and curious when she has nothing to do so she calls from random numbers. If you guys have any input that would be appreciated.

[Wiseman2]

Yuck. This is part of why friendzoning sucks. Full block from everything and no contact is a smart choice. Yes, for some reason the friendzone even 'male gal-pal/relationship coach' is a frequent and bizarre phenomenon after break-ups.

She asks for advise on her new relationship and asks me to help her/ be her friend still since we were best friends for 6 years.

[marktristin]

Ya I did not offer her any advice and she got upset started talking about how we did not work and were not compatible. The strange things started to happen after that since I continued no contact, the calls and logging into my things had gotten more and more frequent the last couple of weeks. Sometimes I believe it is because I fell off the face of the earth and have not contacted anyone she knows so she thought something happened but then again that is kind of weird for her to do if she is with someone else and doesn't want to be with me.

[jjkk]

Good for you for sticking to NC!!! Nice job! I hope you changed ALL your passwords so she can't log onto your stuff anymore. My best guess is she wants her ego stroked so she's hoping to reel you in to feed it for a little while and get some reassurance that you're still in love with her or maybe she tries calling just because she's bored or she's feeling insecure in her current relationship. Only she really knows and they're all crappy reasons and honestly in the big scheme of things not someone you want to be with. She logs into your email and social media AFTER you've broken up? Red flag for crazy, imo. Then calls repeatedly when all her calls are ignored? Doesn't sound like a confident, independent, emotionally stable person to me. Continue working on yourself. Best wishes!!