Conflicted about My girlfriend

[AmpAZ34 1]

Hello People. This is my first post so I will try and get straight to the point. So my girlfriend and I have been dating for about 9 months now. She is a great person. We did move kind of fast in the beginning just because of the connection we had. So here is the bitter sweet. She has the biggest heart of anyone I've ever been with and I'm 34 and have dated a lot. We both are obsessed with the same sports team. She doesn't ride my ass about too much. I lost my business and was damn there at rock bottom. She has supported me the way no one else would In this world has. I mean kept me from drowning seriously. Just a good over all person and just has my back. Sounds great right? Here's my issues. She is extremely extremely sloppy in so many ways. The house, cleaning, the way she eats ect.. She good pretty good looking but There is no real sex appeal, which is a turn off. Her breath smells a lot. she burps allll the time. I mean she's 29 and acts like a 20 years old ASU Frat Guy if you can imagine. She hates getting her nails done. I have to to tell her to take a shower. She won't wear a bra. She never smells at all she just is not like most like most woman I've been with. It's like she doesn't take pride in being a woman. I noticed the bond between her parents and she takes after her dad and it just seems like her mom never taught her anything about being with a man . Idk if that makes sense. I'm just torn. We have argued and left for about 3 hours just to clear my head and this girl is super duper obsessed with me almost to the point of crazy losing her mind when I got back. I feel she would truly spiral down BAD if I left I don't know if there are some deeper issues that I don't wanna get blindsided by or if I should just stick it out because people who truly care for us are hard to come by when we are struggling.

[Wolfshook 16]

There is no perfect person out there,you will have to trade she seems like a good person to me from what you said.

[Wiseman2 3,161]

Do you live together? Is she supporting you? Why are you with her?

She is extremely extremely sloppy in so many ways. The house, cleaning, the way she eats ect. There is no real sex appeal, which is a turn off. Her breath smells a lot. she burps allll the time.

[Clinton 4]

You didn't mention the word love in your post. So I gather you aren't in love with her. If you aren't after 9 months you never will be. Time to move on.

[WithLove 22]

She disgusts you. If after 9 months, she has not changed, then this is who she is. Accept that, or break it off, because you're never going to appreciate the "bad" characteristics you listed.

[lostandhurt 1,168]

Sorry bud but she doesn't check all your boxes so it is time to end this.

 

If you don't find her sexy, think her breath smells and all the other stuff you mentioned how is this relationship going to grow beyond what you mentioned? It has basically peaked already and now all her habits are showing up like red flags now that the shine is wearing off.

 

I think one or two of these could be manageable but as a whole it is a deal breaker for you.

 

Lost

[DancingFool 1,795]

Regarding house cleaning, spring for a maid to come scrub out everything couple of times a month or however often you need. Also, remember that you need to be cleaning too. It's not just a woman's job to take care of housekeeping, especially when that woman is working and paying the bills.

 

As for the rest, sit her down and be blunt with her that if she doesn't fix her personal hygiene, you are out and you mean it. Again, nothing to do with being "a girl", what you describe is just gross for anyone. Regarding the breath thing, she might need to go see a doctor. Could be teeth, could be an internal health problem brewing. So don't just say eww your breath smells, talk to her and ask her to see a doctor.

 

Now, if she blows you off and does nothing, then you can leave in peace. You've tried and that's all you can do.

[lucidious 1]

Talk to her, like hey I would like it if you took care of yourself more. But if that's who and how she is maybe she's not the one for you and you should look for someone who doesn't turn you off and isn't so low maintenance.

[Wiseman2 3,161]

Obviously if she thought there were a problem she would do something. Do try to fix her or give her tips on grooming/housekeeping etc. She'll just resent you and be hurt. Besides, there's no attraction, so game over.

 

In relationships what you see is what you get.

She is extremely extremely sloppy in so many ways. The house, cleaning, the way she eats ect.There is no real sex appeal, which is a turn off. Her breath smells a lot. she burps allll the time. It's like she doesn't take pride in being a woman.

[Theniceone 4]

''It's like she doesn't take pride in being a woman''

 

''I noticed the bond between her parents and she takes after her dad and it just seems like her mom never taught her anything about being with a man ''

 

To be honest the above sounds a little sexist. It is her perogative to not wear a bra. She has no obligation to have her nails done, they just have to be clean. She is what she is, and if being with a woman that is not very feminine is a dealbreaker for you, you know what to do, but note that she is no less of a woman.