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Need some tips


E98

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So if any of y'all read my last thread, you'd know I'm going after someone who's a bit older than me. To really understand the situation, you have to know the details. I'm 17, she's in her 20s (very early 20s I assume), she's a technician at the place I go to for PT (she is NOT a therapist). BTW I've already heard all of the "she's too old for how young you are" stuff. I know and I'm aware it's stretching the limit. Please just help me out with the things I've listed below. Thanks.

 

I really just need some tips on making conversation. How to initiate it and some things that are relevant to something, if that makes sense. Like for example, 4th of July is coming up so I could ask her if she's doing anything fun then. Things like that.

 

Also, for some reason whenever there are people around I get extremely nervous. I'm not nervous to talk to her, just nervous that someone might overhear or whatever. Is there any way that I can train myself to not think like that? I really don't care if someone hears me ask her about what she's doing for the 4th, I just overthink things and think that someone is going to figure out my intentions, therefore somehow leading to humiliation, which for some reason I'm not worried about either. It's a really weird feeling and very hard to explain.

 

I also want to know if I can take anything away from the conversation we had today. It was nothing special at all so I didn't take much from it but here it is. She had put ice on my knee once I was finished and when the timer was up she came to take the ice off. I asked her about her job and what she did there. She looked very surprised and happy. She smiled and asked "what do I do?", putting emphasis on the "I". I said yeah and she gave me a pretty straight forward answer. (I'm not really looking to attract her from this. Just trying to get to know her a little better, that's all.) I could tell that I caught her off guard by asking her because when she answered it seemed like it was hard to get her words out. So yeah, I smiled and told her it sounded interesting. I hope I gave off the feeling that I was more interested her than the job itself, but anyway. She asked me when I was coming back and I told her I'd have to check the schedule. Just her being polite. Nothing to it. Then I said thank you and left. What can I take from that couple of minutes? I'm guessing that she was probably just being nice, but I could tell she was surprised that I asked her. Could she have been happy I took interest in what she does or was she just being nice? Sounds kind of strange that I'm completely breaking down a conversation that probably lasted a few minutes but that's just what I do. Thanks.

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She was being nice and professional.

The downside of being 17 and interested in a someone in their early 20's is that is sets you up to feel insecure and not sure what to say.

As shown by your description. My guess is if you pursued someone your own age the problem would likely be solved.

But I know that's not what you wanted to hear.

 

Do you want to date her? Are you in a position to do so?

If so, ask her out.

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She was being nice and professional.

The downside of being 17 and interested in a someone in their early 20's is that is sets you up to feel insecure and not sure what to say.

As shown by your description. My guess is if you pursued someone your own age the problem would likely be solved.

But I know that's not what you wanted to hear.

 

Do you want to date her? Are you in a position to do so?

If so, ask her out.

 

I'm just not interested in a girl who lives their life snapchat or Instagram. Also there's nobody my age who I can really say that I'm interested in anyway.

 

Im in no position right now to be dating anyone. I broke my knee and had surgery a little over a month ago. I can't even walk. If I was in a position to date her then I would. That's why I'm just trying to get to know more about her and get more comfortable with her. That way when I am ready it won't be tough for me to ask her for her number or anything. Just what I had in mind and it seemed like the best route to take.

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Developing a crush on a nurse, doctor, caregiver is extremely common. All you can do is make small talk and be nice to her.

I broke my knee and had surgery a little over a month ago. I can't even walk. If I was in a position to date her then I would
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Developing a crush on a nurse, doctor, caregiver is extremely common. All you can do is make small talk and be nice to her.

 

She's not really a "caregiver". Literally once you get your high school degree you can become a PT tech. You don't need college or anything. She told me all she does there is do what the actual therapists tell her to do, which is telling people what exercise to do and stuff like that.

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If she's putting an ice pack on your leg, she falls into that broader category. The point being many patients fall for people who are providing their care. Crushes like this are very common.

 

Yeah you're right. Just can't tell myself not to at least try. I'm not worried about rejection in this case.

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You're 17, she's in her twenties. That's called statutory rape. Good luck with dating her.

 

Age of consent in my state is 15. I've already told myself that if she's older than like 22 then I will back off. And statutory rape is having sex with a minor, which I am not looking for at all. Just to date that's all.

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Age of consent in my state is 15. I've already told myself that if she's older than like 22 then I will back off. And statutory rape is having sex with a minor, which I am not looking for at all. Just to date that's all.

 

Sorry but age of consent in all US states is between 16 and 18.

 

And it's her that's having sex with a minor, not you.

 

Anyway I think you're reading more into this than is there.

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Im really sorry but here are some harsh facts for you.

She has a job, her own money, probably lives away from home, could have a boyfriend.

You are a child (you are not legally an adult til you are eighteen), live at home, go to school, dont have an income.

 

You are her patient, she is paid to take care of you & be pleasant to you. That is her job. She isnt flirting with you or trying to get to know you, she is just doing her job.

 

I know you have a crush on her, but until you are an adult with a job & a car you cant do anything about it.

 

Just keep being friendly, dont ask her out and maybe in the future you might run into her again.

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Im really sorry but here are some harsh facts for you.

She has a job, her own money, probably lives away from home, could have a boyfriend.

You are a child (you are not legally an adult til you are eighteen), live at home, go to school, dont have an income.

 

You are her patient, she is paid to take care of you & be pleasant to you. That is her job. She isnt flirting with you or trying to get to know you, she is just doing her job.

 

I know you have a crush on her, but until you are an adult with a job & a car you cant do anything about it.

 

Just keep being friendly, dont ask her out and maybe in the future you might run into her again.

 

I have a car, I can drive. I had a job as well with my own income. All that ended when I broke my leg. Legally I'm a child but I'm more mature than a lot of kids who graduated when I began high school.

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Do you know if she is single? How often do you see her for your knee?. I won't go in the details about her age and your age. If the interest is mutual non of that will matter frankly.

 

Typically these sessions can be scheduled in advanced and if there is a fixed amount of times that you know you will be seeing her you can plan it in advanced, so the last session you can officially ask her out and if she says no, then you won't worry since you don't have to see her again

Meanwhile you can gather information from her by these small talks, maybe if she is seeing someone and things like that.

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Do you know if she is single? How often do you see her for your knee?. I won't go in the details about her age and your age. If the interest is mutual non of that will matter frankly.

 

Typically these sessions can be scheduled in advanced and if there is a fixed amount of times that you know you will be seeing her you can plan it in advanced, so the last session you can officially ask her out and if she says no, then you won't worry since you don't have to see her again

Meanwhile you can gather information from her by these small talks, maybe if she is seeing someone and things like that.

 

Thank you. Finally someone reads what I wrote and doesn't give me advice I don't need. I schedule everything in advance. Usually a week or 2. It's mainly luck though when I see her. For the past 3 or 4 sessions I have had her which is nice but sometimes I could get the other tech working there or just my own therapist. That's why it's so tough for me to talk to her. I'm not sure if she's single but I'd assume someone as pretty as her would have a boyfriend, but I just don't know. If she does then I will of course back off. I know my limitations as I know I'm already crossing the line. I asked my therapist and I go to see my doctor next Wednesday for my follow up appointment to see if I can start walking. She said if everything goes as planned then I will have 4-5, 6 max, weeks left until I'm better. That gives me probably 8-10 more sessions. I need to know some things I can ask to figure out more about her during those weeks. I was planning on asking her on my last or 2nd to last session. That way I'll be walking and driving again. Any conversational tips is appreciated.

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Thank you. Finally someone reads what I wrote and doesn't give me advice I don't need. I schedule everything in advance. Usually a week or 2. It's mainly luck though when I see her. For the past 3 or 4 sessions I have had her which is nice but sometimes I could get the other tech working there or just my own therapist. That's why it's so tough for me to talk to her. I'm not sure if she's single but I'd assume someone as pretty as her would have a boyfriend, but I just don't know. If she does then I will of course back off. I know my limitations as I know I'm already crossing the line. I asked my therapist and I go to see my doctor next Wednesday for my follow up appointment to see if I can start walking. She said if everything goes as planned then I will have 4-5, 6 max, weeks left until I'm better. That gives me probably 8-10 more sessions. I need to know some things I can ask to figure out more about her during those weeks. I was planning on asking her on my last or 2nd to last session. That way I'll be walking and driving again. Any conversational tips is appreciated.

That's a great amount of sessions to get to know enough intel and can plan your moves carefully. Your first goal should be to find out if she is single. As you have your own moral and values and you don't approach awoman who is taken and I respect that as I am like that also.

From what I think might work in these situations, being funny and obtaining information through that channel.

 

Ask her so does your bf mind you putting ice on guy's knees all day? Lol

 

 

Or say like can i specifically ask to be scheduled with you as i don't like dudes or grandmaas touching me so much .lol

 

These are some suggestions that i think may work but tweek and taior them to your style.

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That's a great amount of sessions to get to know enough intel and can plan your moves carefully. Your first goal should be to find out if she is single. As you have your own moral and values and you don't approach awoman who is taken and I respect that as I am like that also.

From what I think might work in these situations, being funny and obtaining information through that channel.

 

Ask her so does your bf mind you putting ice on guy's knees all day? Lol

 

 

Or say like can i specifically ask to be scheduled with you as i don't like dudes or grandmaas touching me so much .lol

 

These are some suggestions that i think may work but tweek and taior them to your style.

 

There are 2 techs there. Both are good looking but to me she's prettier so the whole grandma thing wouldn't work haha. The boyfriend thing is kind of a good idea but I don't really want to get too personal just yet. I feel like if I said something like that then it would show what my intentions are and right now, I don't want that. I'll try to come up with some more things to talk about. I guess it's pretty tough to give advice about something like this when you aren't in the situation yourself. Thanks.

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All I can say is that if that you better look like Tim Riggins from Friday Night Lights if you're going to overcome your obvious handicaps. Girls that age seldom want to date children.

 

Might have to watch Friday Night Lights. Heard good things about it. I wouldn't call myself a child. Legally sure, but not mentally. Obviously I'm not going to be acting like some fool around her and I don't act like one anyway. My grandpa was with someone who was 7 years older than him when he was my age. At a time when something like that was extremely looked down upon, it's impressive. Not all women are the same.

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Ask her what her favorite candy/ snack/ coffee is. Then bring some in next time. You make conversation by creating things to converse about.

 

Sounds good. I overheard she really likes coffee lol. I might have to bring them all Starbucks gift cards or something. I think everyone would find it weird if I singled her out on something like that.

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I'm guessing that she was probably just being nice, but I could tell she was surprised that I asked her. Could she have been happy I took interest in what she does or was she just being nice? Sounds kind of strange that I'm completely breaking down a conversation that probably lasted a few minutes but that's just what I do. Thanks.

 

Yes she was just being nice. You generally shouldn't hit on women in their workplace. Period. She's there to do a job and doesn't need the awkwardness and attention from men hitting on her.

 

Women and men that are paid to be somewhere and interact with the public have to be nice. Confusing that with attraction is a classic mistake a lot of men make for some reason. If I were you I would put respecting her above your attraction for her. That will leave a better impression than some awkward and poorly advised attempt to attract her. Give it up. This isn't the time or place.

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Yes she was just being nice. You generally shouldn't hit on women in their workplace. Period. She's there to do a job and doesn't need the awkwardness and attention from men hitting on her.

 

Women and men that are paid to be somewhere and interact with the public have to be nice. Confusing that with attraction is a classic mistake a lot of men make for some reason. If I were you I would put respecting her above your attraction for her. That will leave a better impression than some awkward and poorly advised attempt to attract her. Give it up. This isn't the time or place.

 

I don't really understand why everyone is thinking that I'm trying to flirt or hit on her. I'm not. I wouldn't do that while she's at work in front of her coworkers. I didn't confuse her response as any type of attraction. I knew she was being polite like she should. I didn't walk away from that thinking that she's "in love" with me or anything. I'm just trying to get to know her. I wouldn't put the awkwardness of me flirting onto her while she's in a professional space. I'm just trying to get to know her right now. Be friendly, ask about her and stuff like that. In no way at all am I attempting to get her to be attracted to me. At least not right now. Outside of her workspace is the only appropriate time to be flirty or whatever.

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I don't really understand why everyone is thinking that I'm trying to flirt or hit on her. I'm not. I wouldn't do that while she's at work in front of her coworkers. I didn't confuse her response as any type of attraction. I knew she was being polite like she should. I didn't walk away from that thinking that she's "in love" with me or anything. I'm just trying to get to know her. I wouldn't put the awkwardness of me flirting onto her while she's in a professional space. I'm just trying to get to know her right now. Be friendly, ask about her and stuff like that. In no way at all am I attempting to get her to be attracted to me. At least not right now. Outside of her workspace is the only appropriate time to be flirty or whatever.

 

You're posting in "Attraction and Flirting", what else are we supposed to think? You want advice on engaging in small talk because????

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You're posting in "Attraction and Flirting", what else are we supposed to think? You want advice on engaging in small talk because????

 

I mean I'm sorry, I haven't looked at any other topic threads, suppose conversational tips would have been better. All you've gotta do is read the post to figure out what I need advice on.

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