Why is she trying to make me feel guilty

[Why9]

So I we officially split a little over a week ago after failed attempts to try and make it work she ended it each and every time. We stayed in contact at first then went through the usual post break up arguments of her telling me that she wants nothing to do with me and we only need to be in touch about the kids. Then out of the blue wanted to be very friendly with me while knowing the entire time I still love her and wanted to work things out. So yesterday she had invited me to have dinner with her and the kids but I wasn't going to get off work in time so I said it's probably best I don't see her considering I still love her and it would just hurt but said I would pick the kids up to go for ice cream. She said she was going to take the kids to her parents after dinner so ice cream wouldn't work I then offered to take them myself just to spend time and she said no and we arranged for me to see the kids next week but I said I would pick them up from her parents that way I wouldn't see her. Then her and I were supposed to hang out Saturday night to get coffee and she said I assume you're canceling Saturday night since you don't want to see me I said yes I think it's best for me otherwise I'm just going to continue to hurt and you don't want what I want so what's the point I said I'm sorry and she didn’t respond. Then this morning she sent me a text saying all I'm doing is hurting the kids by acting like this that she's trying to remain friends for the sake of the kids and just laying this guilt trip on me as if I'm not trying to be apart of the kids lives like I still love her very much and would love to work it out but she doesn't want to so what's with the guilt trips I don't understand and why doesn't she take into consideration my pain and I never said I didn't want to see the kids I suggested we try to work it out in a way where I wouldn't see her because in still in love and it's just going to continuously cause my heartache.

[Wiseman2]

You did offer to see the kids, so don't let her manipulate this so she can friend-zone you.

I said I would pick them up from her parents that way I wouldn't see her. I'm doing is hurting the kids by acting like this that she's trying to remain friends for the sake of the kids

[HeartGoesOn]

I think you made a wise choice for both you and your children. However, it appears that sooner rather than later, you're going to need an attorney.

[Clinton]

Why is she trying to make you feel guilty? Because that's what exes do after a marriage ends. My ex wife did the exact same thing.

 

Don't let her get to you. You don't have to be best friends. You just have to be able to communicate about the kids and their needs. If you can do that and make decisions that benefit the children, that's all that's required.

[Wiseman2]

It sounds like her kids got attached to you, but that's not an adult break-up subject. Where's her ex/the father? Hopefully she's not transferring all sorts of issues into this. Did she use the kids thing to keep her ex/the father around/in the picture?

"I can't dismiss all the wonderful things you've done for the kids (her kids ) you're a amazing father"

[Why9]

Yes the kids and I grew very close to each other and know when her and her ex split up he completely left the picture and wanted nothing to do with them so I've been the only father figure that these kids have known for most of their lives

[East4]

She doesn't want you, but she does not want you to move on either, because it is scary for a woman to find herself on her own after a break up. The thought that she has you at her beck and call is very comforting and cushions the blow of the break up. So, she uses all of her manipulation arsenal to keep you entangled in her web-offers for friendship, the kids, etc. She has been selfish. She doesn't care what is good for you, only what benefits her.

 

You would be wise to implement no contact. Im sorry to say that, but it will be also better you gradually stop seeing her kids too.

Good luck.