Jump to content

just one of the bad days out of the good days I'm having.


Recommended Posts

Okay some of you guys already know my story. My ex and I dated for 7 years and we have different religious belief which did not matter for the past years and did matter now. We broke up because of a lot of his issues with himself and alas he mentioned that he could not go on anymore because he it is unfair for the both of us. He did want me to convert to his, but at the same time he knew it would not be good for me because I will never be happy if I would only do it for his sake. So okay, it crushed me and I was given no choice but to accept his offer because he had told me such things like "he doesn't love me anymore" or "he lost his self and he is no longer able to fight for our relationship". I sort of try to convince him to reconsider it for like 3 days but after that, we went NC. He had become my best friend and my emotional support for the entire years we were together and now I just could not believe that he is gone. He just left me like that. Like his equation for a "better life" is = Life - Me

 

I have not initiated contact after 3days of begging and so did he. But I struggle everyday because I really want to talk to him. I bet he'll respond if I try to contact him but for my own sake, I won't. I miss him so much. SO.F**king.MUCH. And I just wonder how and why he could just drop me like that after so many years. I was a dumper before, but I weren't like him. I explained to my ex everything. But this, the love was really there. There was chemistry and all of it. But why is it that even if I was the dumpee and went on to NC with minimal begging, he is not initiating contact at all? How could a person who told you he loves you so much and has promised you the world suddenly change and go on to his life like I never existed? It just hurt so much. This is such a sucky feeling that haunts me even when I sleep. Even when I am having a good time, the thought keeps haunting me and I just shoo it away. I mean it just seem like he really wanted me to die or hurt. It just doesn't make any sense.

 

To the dumpers out there, can you tell me what you feel when your dumpee is no longer contacting you anymore? Does that make you happier as if a thorn in your heart is already removed and does that make you breathe better? I'm sorry. This is just one of those bad days. I'm not like this all the time. I feel so stupid.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Believe it or not, it's actually kinder to not contact you because whether or not you realize it, him contacting you would give you hope. You'd agonize over what every single text MEANS, you'd agonize over him responding or not responding, and you'd probably spend time hoping he texts you again. And you'd wonder if he's contacting you because he misses you and wants you back.

 

So, he's not giving you any false hope. And I do have to commend him for that.

 

And I have "dumped" someone for very good reasons. He electronically stalked me for a long time, so yes, it was a relief to block him. But even though you didn't do that (stalk him I mean), he probably does feel a bit bad for hurting you. You contacting him would remind him that he hurt you.

 

So it's a better idea to just focus on you and anything you can do differently to help yourself move on.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I dont know about not giving me false hope. I think he actually is giving me that because he wasn't clear when he left. It feels like he is keeping me hanging with some of the hope left. My stuff is still in his apartment. He has not made it clear to me to just give it up. His last messages are so cryptic.

 

I really just want to be over him and I am willing to let go if he really want me to. He could've just done it in a better way than deciding to leave me behind over a text message and all and..

 

Oh great I'm overthinking again..

Link to comment
Share on other sites

He didn't just drop you just like that. His extreme religious beliefs have surfaced into an ultimatum. Get your stuff and move on, moving out is as clear as a bell that it's over regardless of whatever nebulous sentiment and drivel he's offering.. He can't string you along if you don't let him.

It feels like he is keeping me hanging with some of the hope left. My stuff is still in his apartment. He has not made it clear to me to just give it up. His last messages are so cryptic
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Top Discussions this Week

  • Our picks

    • If Only A Narcissist Could Say THIS
      The more you are exposed to a narcissist, the more you struggle with the question: "Why can't this person appreciate the legitimacy of me succeeding?" Dr. Les Carter muses about a statement that you won't hear from a narcissist, but offers strong words of affirmation about how to thrive despite the narcissist's gaslighting.

       
      • 0 replies
    • Surviving & Maintaining The No Contact Rule
      Surviving and maintaining the no contact rule to take your power back so you can attract better and reach your full potential. In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email success story from a viewer who went through a bad breakup about a year ago. He says that his ex broke his heart into pieces and my work helped him get through a very dark time. He says she is stalking his social media and calls from different numbers, but he has not given into weakness or the urges to let her back into his life. It’s an interesting account of a man’s journey to self-love, self-respect, healing and overcoming a toxic relationship that no longer serves him.

       
      • 0 replies
    • 5 spiritual habits that changed my life
      5 spiritual habits that changed my life
      • 0 replies
    • When a Man Ignores You - One Text Makes Him Regret It Immediately!
      In this video, I'm going to explain what to do when a man ignores you. I will also explain the reasons why men ignore the women they date and you will learn 2 powerful text messages that will turn things around and make him regret it and change his behavior. Are you Being ignored by someone you care about? IF so, you know it’s one of the most frustrating and difficult situations to deal with especially when you don’t know the reason. That’s why In this video, I’m going to share the reasons why the person you’re dating or interested in might be ignoring you. And I’m going to tell you exactly what to do about each of them.

       
      • 0 replies
    • Johnny Berba's best tips for mental health improvement: taking action reduces anxiety & depression
      In this video, Johnny Berba shares his best tips for conquering anxiety and depression. Maintaining good mental health is not as hard as some people think, it's really about taking small action steps.

       
      • 0 replies
×
×
  • Create New...