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Need help and advice regarding the NC rule


yllom

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My boyfriend of 2 years and I broke up on Monday. We haven't spoken since Tuesday, when he ignored my text asking for an explanation (he broke up with me completely out of the blue, he has not been acting differently lately, and his reasons were simply not good enough for me to take, especially when he was telling me he still loves me and always will). Obviously I am completely heartbroken, we were extremely happy most of the time and everyone, my friends, my family, and especially I, are all so, so shocked. We were so good together and he genuinely was my best friend. It wasn't a bad break-up but he definitely has failed to take my feelings into consideration with the whole not replying, not very good reasons thing.

 

Since he ignored my text, I have decided to implement the NC rule. I know he'll be expecting me to text him again at some point and I'm determined to shock him.

 

He has to contact me at some point, because, for his birthday, I have paid for us to go on a dream holiday on the 21st of July, less than five weeks away, and I am certainly not going to be the one to contact him about it. However, I do love him with everything in me, we were extremely happy most of the time, and it was an extremely rash decision, and of course I want him back.

 

Now, when he does reply to Tuesdays text or when he texts me at all, do I ignore it? And then go on to wishing him a Happy Birthday on his birthday, apologise for ignoring him but tell him I've needed to clear my head and then suggest a meet-up at a pub one day soon to give his things back and the presents (besides the holiday), and the card I had already bought him? That way we can sit, have a drink, chat, properly discuss what will happen with the holiday, etc. By this time, it'll be a week or so until the holiday, so I am definitely cutting it fine, but do you agree that this is the best way to go about things? What would you do?

 

I will not completely be following the 30 day NC rule, more like my own 28 day rule, but until then, I'm going to completely focus on bettering me, for me.

 

Please help!

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Why do want to shock him? Are you angry he hasn't called or that he broke up?

 

Wish him a happy birthday? Apologize for ignoring him even though he is the one not contacting you? This makes no sense. It sounds like you are thinking of ways to get him back. Contact him in a matter of fact way, get your trip refund and give his stuff back. No cards, no discussions.

I'm determined to shock him
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Like I said, I am thinking of ways to win him back. I'm definitely wishing him a Happy Birthday, I think not doing so makes me look extremely immature. Maybe not the apologise for ignoring him bit though, I realise that sounds massively stupid now!

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Who's got the tickets for this birthday holiday? If you do, change the one with his name on it to a friend's name and go with that person. If he's holding the tickets let him take someone other than you. Dont whine and grovel to get him back, it's very unbecoming to you.

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He's finished. He knew the dream vacation was coming and you paid for it and he STILL broke up with you.

 

You need to move on. Forget the chats and the pub and the gifts. Drop any crap off on his porch or tell him to get it or it's being donated. Then cut him off. This is the best way to heal, over time you'll see you don't want anything to do with someone who treats you like this, you're still in the breakup fog but it does clear.

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