Approaching on the street (or probably not)

[Zaphod]

Went in there today and she wasn't there stuck with this bloody flapjack that I didn't want.

 

What do you lot think of the passing her a note with the old phone number on it? Assuming the only place I can see her is the shop?

 

That idea has grown on me a little bit, as it goes. Not saying I'm gonna shoot for that, but it's entered into my head as a contender. Never done that before.

 

Asking her out in front of her manager seems a bit of a step too far currently. And I'm not sure when I'll bump into her on the street again, it could be a while.

[Wiseman2]

Would you write other stuff in the note?

 

What we do for love!

stuck with this bloody flapjack that I didn't want.

[Zaphod]

Would you write other stuff in the note?

 

I thought I might write her a few links to videos about gravitational lensing and quantum mechanics, as it goes.

 

I'd probably write "Cake Girl - Meet me for (insert non-threatening innocuous short public daytime activity here) sometime? Call me - Zaphod (my number)" - that kind of thing. Cute but short, I guess, like I say, I've never done this before... I'm improvising here.

[Wiseman2]

I like it.

I'd probably write "Cake Girl - Meet me for (insert non-threatening innocuous short public daytime activity here) sometime? Call me - Zaphod (my number)" - that kind of thing. Cute but short, I guess, like I say, I've never done this before... I'm improvising here.

[Zaphod]

I like it.

 

It depends what mood I'm in whether I do the note thing or not. Thanks for passing it through the Wiseman2 filter of approval though. Looks like a distinct possibility at this point.

 

I need to brace myself for crashing and burning here. But at least I'm giving it a shot, I guess.

 

It'll be - Don't hear from her for two weeks, bump into her, only to receive explanation that she "has boyvrend" - but y'know. Ah well. Nothing ventured.

 

Women do like to flirt with me, I've noticed, but when it comes to crunch time, a lot of them seem to crap themselves at the last minute. It's always been really frustrating. But I'm learning to expect it - no longer the naive young idiot.

[Wiseman2]

Hey, maybe he's in Siberia. you need to warm the heart.

It'll be - Don't hear from her for two weeks, bump into her, only to receive explanation that she "has boyvrend"

[Zaphod]

Ok I was going to do this earlier. Happened to drive past the shop on my way back from a jog. Saw her looking out the window. Got in, had a shower, went out to buy some stuff down the shops, food etc. with the intention of dropping in there on the way back, flapjack, ask for a pen, write the number down, great.

 

Went in and she EFFing wasn't serving was she. She was out the back, I dunno making up orders, piping, whatever they do out there. Got served by a new person. Don't think cake noticed me, she was involved in something out there.

 

I'm getting a bit pissed off with this now. All I end up with is bloody flapjacks, soon all I'm gonna have is a pile of flapjacks, no money, and no date. I don't seem to be having the best of luck here, to be honest. And I'm getting a bit paranoid now that everyone in the shop knows why I'm going in, and they're noting down each time I go in and fail to make contact because cake isn't actually at the counter. Look, it's the flapjack guy who fancies cake again, poor sod, she's not serving.

 

Sorry just a bit of a rant there.

[shiner501]

You should not hesitate to approach on the street to someone you like. It is a great way to meet people and get numbers. It is part of your everyday routine so why not indulge in friendly chit-chat and maybe get some phone numbers?

 

I started a thread on this very subject and got derided for some bizarre reason.

[Zaphod]

I started a thread on this very subject and got derided for some bizarre reason.

 

Where is it?

[Wiseman2]

Was it the guy who winked at you/has a crush on you? She probably saw you drive by and in anticipation ran in the back to pretty herself up asking coworkers.."how I look? I just see him in car go by. oh hope he come in. my hair ok?

 

Then you got your flapjack and were gone before she came back out. "Vhat? I miss him? hope he come in tomorrow. you sink he just like lots flapjack maybe? he never come for cupcake or cookie."

Got served by a new person.

[Zaphod]

Was it the guy who winked at you/has a crush on you?

 

Nah that was the manager, but I haven't had any more winks from him (thankfully).

 

"how I look? I just see him in car go by. oh hope he come in. my hair ok?

 

Then you got your flapjack and were gone before she came back out. "Vhat? I miss him? hope he come in tomorrow. you sink he just like lots flapjack maybe? he never come for cupcake or cookie."

 

Trying not to get a semi-on thinking about her accent, even though I'm reading text written by a man. That's a bit wrong really. Just be forewarned before you make your next one

[Zaphod]

Ok it's update time, and in typical Zaphod style, this turns things inside-out, upside down and every which way but loose.

 

Was in high energy mode earlier (in other words sharp and focussed, not space cadet mode). Saw her walking down the street, chased after her. Caught up with her, made a bit of small talk, suggested get-together, and was told to cool my jets a little (at least she knows I have jets now, right?) - then offered my number. I was effectively ticked off for being too quick. Not in a bad way, though. It was a bit of a turn-on actually. At least she knows I'm not meek about things, right?

 

She hummed and ahhed for a short while, I explained to her that I wasn't expecting anything. She took my number. I told her that she could do with it what she wanted. She explained about uncertainty, I reassured her that I was easy either way. She remembered my name which kind of surprised me, to be honest.

 

Ok, maybe I was a bit quick, but you know EFF it, time to lay my cards on the table. She knew exactly what I was up to. Time to show her I can not only be very very slow but very very quick, as the situation demands.

 

Honestly? I dunno whether I'll get that call, I'm not sure I'd lay money on it, but I'm pleased she got the number and I'm pleased I committed in no uncertain terms.

 

Sorry if some of you think I rushed that a bit, but I saw the window and I worked it, that's how I like to look at it anyway. I'm fed up with this ongoing farce of flapjacks.

 

I will continue to get flapjacks, I will be civil and friendly because I like her and respect her, and I will never hassle her about it again. Let it pan out as it will.

 

Whaddayareckon?

 

Oh and by the way - this could well be the last update on this. I've laid my bet and shown my hand. There could well be nothing more of interest to report from now on.

[Wiseman2]

Can you switch to cupcakes or cookies? It sounds like you caught her off-guard, that's ok. Just keep up your love of baked goods so that you become a 'regular'.

I will continue to get flapjacks, I will be civil and friendly because I like her and respect her, and I will never hassle her about it again

[Zaphod]

Can you switch to cupcakes or cookies? It sounds like you caught her off-guard, that's ok. Just keep up your love of baked goods so that you become a 'regular'.

 

]

 

Do you think it matters that I caught her off-guard?

 

I had to bring this to a head, it was starting to do my nut in. Could've been waiting bloody weeks for another opportunity, if any at all.

[Zaphod]

Can you switch to cupcakes or cookies? It sounds like you caught her off-guard, that's ok. Just keep up your love of baked goods so that you become a 'regular'.

 

The day you see me eating a cupcake, sir, is the day you see me skipping through the daisies singing songs from The Sound Of Music in a gingham dress.

[Wiseman2]

Nah, but she's surely going to tell her comrades about this. "I see him. he gave me number, vhat to do? Her friends : "vait couple days, make him sveat"

Do you think it matters that I caught her off-guard?

I had to bring this to a head, it was starting to do my nut in. Could've been waiting bloody weeks for another opportunity, if any at all.

[Zaphod]

Nah, but she's surely going to tell her comrades about this. "I see him. he gave me number, vhat to do? Her friends : "vait couple days, make him sveat"

 

I won't be sweating much. It was worth it, if only to have had this interaction with her outside of the shop. Made me feel human again. And I'm grateful for that, whatever happens.

[youareworthy]

Wiseman2, you are insane! Ever since the introduction of her "speeches," I officially adore this thread.

 

Youareworthy

[youareworthy]

Hey there Zaphod,

 

How are things with Cake Girl? Has she called you?

 

Waiting eagerly for the next installment!

 

Youareworthy

[Zaphod]

Nah, keeping a low profile currently. Let things sink in a bit. Been busy as well.

 

We had a little wave to each other across the road couple of days ago, she was walking the other side of the street. That's about it.

 

I ain't expecting her to call. At least not in the near future. But I'm cool. Sorry to be anti-climactic.

[Wiseman2]

We had a little wave to each other across the road couple of days ago, she was walking the other side of the street.

[video=youtube;8x2tG4X0cdc] ]

[Zaphod]

[video=youtube;6nBj-3NhtpA] ]

[winniethepooh]

- then offered my number. I was effectively ticked off for being too quick. Not in a bad way, though. It was a bit of a turn-on actually. At least she knows I'm not meek about things, right?

 

She hummed and ahhed for a short while, I explained to her that I wasn't expecting anything. She took my number. I told her that she could do with it what she wanted. She explained about uncertainty, I reassured her that I was easy either way. She remembered my name which kind of surprised me, to be honest.

The last time that principle worked for me I was 8 years old. I have never succeeded again since then. I mean giving the girl the option of initiating contact for a date.

 

Next time, get her number and call or send a message to her.

 

Honestly? I dunno whether I'll get that call, I'm not sure I'd lay money on it, but I'm pleased she got the number and I'm pleased I committed in no uncertain terms.

I'll be surprised if she contacts you, but nevertheless, good on you for doing something.

 

I will continue to get flapjacks, I will be civil and friendly because I like her and respect her, and I will never hassle her about it again. Let it pan out as it will.

Forget the flapjacks and cupcakes, go find another girl to ask a phone number from. But next time do it on page 1 of your diary not page 9.

 

Whaddayareckon?

 

I have a cupcake girl story from a few years ago. Several months worth of cupcakes before I invited her for a coffee, always looking for the right opportunity to ask. There never is the perfect opportunity. I gave her my number, she never called.

 

Not going to stop her on the street. She doesn't know me. Apart from having clocked me a few times passing each other in the street. She gave me a smile once.

That day or the next would have been a good time to try and talk to her.

 

she's foreign, has rubbish English.

Foreign sometimes makes it easy to get a conversation going ... but don't just interrogate her with where you from, how long you been here, etc.

 

What you could have done.

 

On the street:

 

Catch up to her or as she walks past: "Hey you own that cupcake shop along the road right?" ... "Yes"/"No"/"Heehee" ... "I don't suppose you do cupcake decorating lessons ... my sister's birthday is coming up and I want bake a cupcake for her" ... "Yes"/"No"/"Heehee" ... "Blah blah blah" ... "Ah look I've gotta run to a meeting but it was fun chatting to you, let's continue with a coffee and a cupcake later, what's your number?"

 

In the shop (management oversight notwithstanding):

 

Go inside when you see her behind the counter: "Hey how's your day? Got any special offers on cupcakes for alien hitchhikers with strange sounding names" ... "Blah blah blah" ... "Ah look I've gotta run to a meeting but it was fun chatting to you, let's continue with a coffee and a cupcake later, what's your number?"

 

Or ... "I want to invite you to have a coffee and chat some more, what's your number?"

 

You have to get the conversation going to a point where asking for the number seems like a natural thing to do, if she feels like you just dropped an ice cube down her back when you ask then you're doing it wrong.

 

It's not like I've done this every day, more like once every 6 or 12 months when I summon up the courage to start a conversation and ask for a number. But something like that has worked after a conversation of at least a few minutes. The last time I did that the girl ignored my invitations but gave my number to her boss who wanted to meet me (I didn't). And once there was a girl who did actually respond to a message and went on a date with me.

[Zaphod]

Hmmm ok, how to approach this. I have Winnie The Pooh's post to respond to, and also a slight update, although not necessarily a very exciting one. Bit of a weird one actually.

 

Ok, Mr. Pooh, I'll respond to yours first. And first, allow me to express my gratitude to you for taking the time to write that.

 

The last time that principle worked for me I was 8 years old. I have never succeeded again since then. I mean giving the girl the option of initiating contact for a date.

 

Next time, get her number and call or send a message to her.

 

Wait - you were dating when you were 8? You old stud.

 

I actually remember at my primary school there was this girl who suddenly pronounced me her boyfriend, a couple of days before valentines day (we were about 8 or 9 I guess which makes you the winner by a nose). She sent me a valentines card, then a couple of days later started snubbing me. She told me she didn't like me, at school dinners. I said to her "Why did you send me a valentines card then", and she slightly misheard and said "What, a phantom's card? I wish it had been a phantom's card I sent you", and that was the end of my first relationship. I was frustrating them even at that age, it seems. Thanks for jogging that memory. I probably farted in assembly or something which may have put her off, who knows. I never got to the bottom of that.

 

 

I'll be surprised if she contacts you, but nevertheless, good on you for doing something.

 

Thank you, and I agree.

 

 

Forget the flapjacks and cupcakes, go find another girl to ask a phone number from. But next time do it on page 1 of your diary not page 9.

 

Ok, there is another girl I saw down the pub the other day, and got her number. Didn't really want to mention it as it goes, for fear of being called a player, or people on here getting angry at me for being a cad or something. Sort of 50/50 about her, annoying voice. Pretty face. . But yes, I have done exactly as you said. Also, the page 9 bit - I did take great pains earlier on in this thread to explain why things were a bit different with this one. Believe me, page 1 would be the norm for me. I know what you're saying though.

 

I have a cupcake girl story from a few years ago. Several months worth of cupcakes before I invited her for a coffee, always looking for the right opportunity to ask. There never is the perfect opportunity. I gave her my number, she never called.

 

So wait, she refused your invitation for coffee initially? Tell me more.

 

That day or the next would have been a good time to try and talk to her.

 

Listen man, as someone's in a hurry to get to work or back again - that's not a good time to try and talk to them. All I had time for was "hello" on the way past or across the street- you're talking 2 seconds max, she's obviously always in a real hurry. This is the whole point of this thread. No appropriate window. I guess it's a "You had to be there" kind of situation.

 

Catch up to her or as she walks past: "Hey you own that cupcake shop along the road right?" ... "Yes"/"No"/"Heehee" ... "I don't suppose you do cupcake decorating lessons ... my sister's birthday is coming up and I want bake a cupcake for her" ... "Yes"/"No"/"Heehee" ... "Blah blah blah" ... "Ah look I've gotta run to a meeting but it was fun chatting to you, let's continue with a coffee and a cupcake later, what's your number?"

 

No, man. Just trust me on this one. This would not have gone down well. Due to the atmosphere in there. As I've explained.

 

In the shop (management oversight notwithstanding):

 

Go inside when you see her behind the counter: "Hey how's your day? Got any special offers on cupcakes for alien hitchhikers with strange sounding names" ... "Blah blah blah" ... "Ah look I've gotta run to a meeting but it was fun chatting to you, let's continue with a coffee and a cupcake later, what's your number?"

 

Or ... "I want to invite you to have a coffee and chat some more, what's your number?"

 

You have to get the conversation going to a point where asking for the number seems like a natural thing to do, if she feels like you just dropped an ice cube down her back when you ask then you're doing it wrong.

 

Again, in this isolated example, totally inappropriate. They do not chat to customers in there. Again, the whole point of this thread. I have no problem whatsoever chatting up customer service girls. Provided it is appropriate. This would have not gone down well at all, trust me.

 

It's not like I've done this every day, more like once every 6 or 12 months when I summon up the courage to start a conversation and ask for a number. But something like that has worked after a conversation of at least a few minutes. The last time I did that the girl ignored my invitations but gave my number to her boss who wanted to meet me (I didn't). And once there was a girl who did actually respond to a message and went on a date with me.

 

Same here, man. Same here.

 

Really, to see my sticking point, you have to read the whole thread which would have probably been quite boring.

[Zaphod]

And here's the (rather strange) update :

 

She works in a cake shop, right?

 

So over the weekend, it was a family member's birthday, and I was instructed by my sibling to "get a cake" because no one else was free to do it- from guess where. I had decided to let the dust settle slightly at this point, and chill out for a short while, and my heart sank a bit. There was no way out of it. Suddenly I'm in there with a genuine order. This is not really what I wanted. The cake girl's gonna think I'm trying to annoy her, it's too soon after our last encounter. Would have been ideal any other time, but bear in mind only what seems like a split second ago, I clocked her on the street.

 

I don't want to seem like I'm chasing her too much, that's not my style. Especially as she does seem a little shy and nervous around me (for hopefully a good reason, I hasten to add).

 

Balls. So I go in, and I've decided to not get her into trouble or anything, just act like a regular customer. Due to the atmosphere in there. As is the important point here. Fix that in your mind. If it wasn't like that, I'd happily make all the conversation in the world. You know, I've been in for flapjacks before, this should be ok.

 

So I go in, she's serving, she clocks me and doesn't actually look too happy about it. A bit "flouncy" if you will. She says "Yes?" in a rather sharp fashion as I'm walking towards the counter.

 

I make my order. She starts boxing it up. And might I add, in a slightly moody fashion. I ask her how she is in that "Being polite to your cashier" type way, not a personal way. She ignores me and tells me the bill for the cake. Strange, I thought. So I clock her manager, say hi, and ask how he is. He responds in a cheerful fashion "fine thanks" and asks me the same. I reply the same. Ok.

 

I wait out a very long seeming 3 or 4 minutes while she mucks around with the boxing and ribbons and stuff. I've seen better from her, bit sloppy (deliberately, I wonder?) but the cake went down well.

 

I say thanks and leave.

 

I'm sensing "Stroppy" here somewhere. She did not seem to like the fact that I'd come in.

 

I dunno, perhaps nothing to do with me?

 

There are off the top of my head, a handful of possibilities here. To guess which it is would just be speculation without evidence at this point.

 

No Mr. Pooh, before you say anything, I don't think she's browned off because I haven't asked her for her number. I can sense those thoughts from here - although it doesn't discount it as a possibility, to be fair.

 

Ah well, maybe she was just tired or something. She was I swear downright flouncy with me though. Could have been in my head.

 

Edit - please don't get the wrong idea. I'm on the verge of calling the other girl up I met down the pub. I'm only asking after this one because it's so strange. In a rather exciting way though. I do prefer cake girl to pub girl.