She said I'm not the same guy she fell in love with

[Why9]

Hey guys,

I'm new to all this but could really use the help and advice. So about a week ago my girlfriend of almost 3 years in September gets home and she's just being distant and weird I ask her what's wrong and tells me she just can't do it anymore I'm not the same guy she fell in love with I've changed. Well I lost my job a month ago and within 2 weeks found another one but had to take a pay cut so I've been a little down. She says she's just tired of fighting for us and trying so hard and feels like I could care less obviously I tell her how much I love her and if I didn't I wouldn't of stuck around this long. She has 2 kids but the dad is not in the picture so I've been taking care of them as if they were mine so I'm pretty devistated it's been a week since all this happened and we spoke for the first few days but the other day I said I think it's best if we give each other a little space hoping she'll miss me and want me back it's been 3 day's and I haven't heard from her do you guys think she'll come around I know I have to work on myself and change but I just wanted to know if she would come back to me thanks guys.

[Wiseman2]

You did the right thing, it's hard to interpret the "you're a stranger to me now!" thing. Maybe she feels taken for granted despite all you've done. Sometimes that means life is becoming a drag and the romance is fading. What did she mean "fighting for us and you couldn't care less"?

I said I think it's best if we give each other a little space hoping she'll miss me and want me back it's been

[Why9]

That's what I didn't understand I asked her if she felt like things were falling apart why she didn't say anything to me sooner so I could try and fix it I told her if you don't say anything I'm going to be oblivious and it's going to seem like I don't care when that's not the case.

[dave_1966]

I'd be pleased to see the back of her if I were you, she's probably moved on with HER kids to the next meal ticket. If you miss the kids so much, I hope you meet a girl willing to give you some of your own.

[Krankor]

I've noticed that often a woman will blame the man and act like she's been "trying" while he's done nothing when the truth is that he hasn't really done anything wrong; she just isn't "feeling it" anymore. If I had to venture a guess, that's what I think has happened here. Or it could even just be that she didn't want to take the "pay cut" herself. So often, women don't like to be the "bad guy" when they leave or break up with a man so they make up some false narrative about it's all the man's fault so that they don't have to face feeling shallow.

 

I'd keep giving her space but not in the hope that she'll come back to you, but rather so that you can start getting over her. If she does come back then have a conversation about how you aren't a mind reader so if she has a problem to communicate it with you before it reaches a breaking point next time.

[Why9]

See it's like I want to say she's not a sallow person but at the same time I know people change so it's like I don't even know what to think anymore it's feels like I tried my best with her and her kids but my best wasn't good enough

[Why9]

I'm just at a complete loss of words over the entire situation and I appreciate you guys taking the time to respond

[Heavy]

Mate I know what you are going through and what questions you have. The exact samething happened to me, I didn't talk to her for a few weeks then all of a sudden she was asking "What are you doing? We should go out etc etc...). I was silly enough to fall for it and was demoted to a FWB whist she was out with one of my friends on the side.

 

Needless to say I caught on and stood up for myself and told her how the real word is (as much as it was hard for me to hurt her). she didn't take it to lightly and then didn't text or call for another 6 weeks, then all of a sudden I get a text from her saying "Sorry", then made all the excuse reasons the relationship broke up was all my fault. That was a different story as to why we broke up in the first place.

 

We didn't speak again for another 6 weeks then again another text, asking how I was, what was I doing... I fond out that she had been sleeping over at my so called mates place and that he was out of town on business so she was bored and I was the fall back guy again.

 

Basically walk away form this person as they are no good and will continue the back and forth game which doesn't help you heal and move forward in life. Good luck.

[Why9]

Man I'm sorry you had to go through all that I don't know if I would be able to mentally handle all that especially if you still have feelings for her

[Heavy]

Man I'm sorry you had to go through all that I don't know if I would be able to mentally handle all that especially if you still have feelings for her

 

Thanks that ended 20 months ago and yes to answer the other part "yes" I do still have feeling for her which is hard. I can not be in a relationship until I know I have no feelings for her.