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Helping my Girlfriend Get Over A Rape?


SodapopC

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Hi, so, my girlfriend was raped last year. She's been to counselling and therapy, and they've done some sessions with her, and they said the next step is for her to actually have sex with a man again in order to get over the mental block she still has in place lingering from the rape. We need to build up to that of course, because at this point, she can't even touch herself anymore, or let me touch her. And I can't fully help her, because I'm a girl, and she needs to have sex with a man, because it was a man who raped her. She's terrified to do it though, and since she feels safe with me, I told her we could have a threesome with a guy first so that she doesn't feel totally vulnerable and alone, and then another time she could have sex with a guy by herself but I would stay in the room with her so she can still feel safe. The problem is, we don't know how to go about this. How to find a guy sensitive enough to understand what we are doing, and to be careful with her. Are we even going about this the right way? Suggestions and advice are welcome...

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goodness no. nobody goddarn pressure this girl into desensitizing herself with exposure. who came up with the she needs to have sex thing anyway?

 

trolling perchance?

 

if you are serious- she shouldn't be made to feel like she is expected to get past her inhibitions by anyone, especially since her trauma response sounds quite bad. back to therapy.

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Nope, not trolling. Just unsure what to do and looking for different input because this was the advice we had been given by the professionals. Thanks for your response, although it could have been worded differently.

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That doesn't make any sense! She needs a new therapist if that's the case. Don't do anything sexual with her until you deal with REAL professional help.

 

Thank you. Your advice was helpful, and not judgey.

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She's been to counselling and therapy, and they've done some sessions with her, and they said the next step is for her to actually have sex with a man again in order to get over the mental block she still has in place lingering from the rape.

 

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... you're either trolling or your girlfriend has the worlds most unprofessional and obnoxious "counselor" in the history of the planet Earth. Her having sex with a man is, in no way, shape, or form going to magically cure her from the trauma of being raped. What she does need, is professional counseling by someone who actually knows what the hell they are doing, and all the love and support she can get. She should in no way be forced to talk or thing about sex again until she is completely ready to do so. End of discussion.

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