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I think my boyfriend is depressed and addicted to porn, what can i do?


chocolate_86

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I have been with my boyfriend just over 2 years. He watches porn every day. He tells me about it . We went on vacation overseas and rather than have sex with me he wanted to watch porn. He works early shift and i work afternoon shift. By the time i get home he is too tired and ready for bed. At exactly this time last year, we went through a dry spell. And its happening again now. I suffer seasonal depression, (its winter here) and i think he might too.

 

How can we fix this?? dont know what to do.

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That's pretty unfair to call him a lousy boyfriend if she suspects he has a problem. I personally think watching porn can be okay (some people disagree), but when it affects your relationship, that's when it is a problem... I mean, you are on vacation and he wants to watch porn? Have you discussed that you think he has a problem, what does he say? Would he be willing to talk to someone about it, like a counselor? Does he know how this affects you? It might be a tough problem to overcome since it has become such a habit for him... like addiction. Also, do you suspect it might be anything else other than the porn which is affecting the sex life?

 

Also, try and remember your needs, and if you want to work through this all.

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Does he have medical/drug/alcohol problems? For example ED or medications that blunt libido or erections? Does he want to watch porn with you? What does he have to say about why he doesn't want sex? If you are tired/depressed then that's a factor as well.

rather than have sex with me he wanted to watch porn.
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Chocolate.

 

I know that some months back you were depressed, and you said you hated your job, and well, in general, things were not so good at all.

 

Did you get some help for these issues that were bothering you?

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Hi. I was fine after a while. I think since living together things have become too routine. My day goes like this- wake up, get ready, work, drive home, empty apartment (he has football training/gym all week)cook dinner, do dishes, and bed. Now i know he isn't cheating he has always been a very very social person.

 

It just feels like everything is left to me constantly. Cleaning and cooking. Now he finishes early in the day and still doesnt do anything but watch tv or play golf. Its sending me crazy. And now hes gone off sex. Im getting fed up. I dont want to break up because i do love him but i want things to change

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Have you guys thought about couples counseling? This is a lot of stuff to tackle on your own... and it's going to be tough to change things.

 

I re-read and saw you guys have been together for two years... For such a routine to happen so early on living together, do you think things will get better? What does he say about this all?

 

I can understand about the "mom" thing... My ex mentioned the same thing to me in counseling and we worked on it. He might be thinking there is no need to change since it is status-quo and he has you, I know that we kind of fell into routine after about the 8 yr mark -- if you want things to change, something has to happen. Your happiness matters.

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