Jump to content

He left me on our year anniversary


Dr3amztasing

Recommended Posts

I'm 30 and he's 26. Our relationship was great! We had a couple small arguments in the past and he would call his mom to come get him and all his stuff at my house. The Longest we stayed broken up was a week and the shortest was a couple days, in which he would always call or text telling me how much he loves me and can't lose me and he's miserable without me so I would then go pick him and his stuff up and everything would be good he would promise me he wasn't going to run again but then it happened! Everything was good up until I had shoulder surgery and I remember asking him plenty about if he was going to leave me once I had surgery and he would always say of course not baby don't think like that. Then I had surgery 3/29 in which he drove up to be with me after because he had to work! After surgery everything was great i was off work for my shoulder and he had gotten a job in my town moved in with me for good and things I assumed Were good between us or so I thought! I'm not going to lie things sometimes were boring as we got into a monotonous routine bc he would go to work mon thru Friday 430 to 1am and I would cook with my one good arm lunch everyday for him then he would always go back to work! Then come home we would stay up watching movies or Netflix then go to bed! We were still very intimate although it was a challenge we made it work! The thing is bc I couldn't do much being in a sling he had to help me a lot and I couldn't drive so it was strenuous on him. I got to where I was stuck in the house all the time bc I was recovering so he never had alone time granted it was only temporary a couple more months and I'm back to work and things back to normal! He only took this job bc of me! Anyways his bday came up and we celebrated 4 days in a row! Going out to eat the movies drinking with his friends (another couple we always hang with) it was a great week. I even spent over 130 bucks on him for his bday! Well then our year anniversary came up a couple days later and he got home from work claiming to be tired I was upset bc he hadn't acknowledged our anniversary at all and when I reminded him he was like oh my god I got to go to Walmart in which he did and came back with a card nothing written in it and the card was not even sweet ( no effort) then he went to work! So when he came home I was upset! He decided to go to bed but I was pissed so I went to the room he kept telling me to just lay down with him but I was upset telling him this wasn't working I felt like he was just going through the motions of being with me yadda yadda but he reassured me he loved me and did want to be with me. I was still upset so I went downstairs to sleep on the couch. Next morning he acted like nothing happened kept trying to talk to me but I was upset so I ignored him. He then sat down and told me if its not working for me then it's not for him either and started saying how I'm clingy don't ever hang out with my friends I get mad when he hangs out with his and all this crap! I'm thinking where the hell is all this coming from and how come I'm just hearing about it. I literally just had surgery and all my friends are married or working so hard to see them at the time. He then started to say well u just want me to leave and I would say no I don't but I'm not going to stop you so then he did it again! Give me the phone so I can call my mom he said so I did. He has a phone but no minutes. Anyways he starts packing all his things as he has always done before and I'm thinking its the boy who cried wolf he will be back! I'm asking him about the cable bill bc we recently got internet and cable package in which I put in my name only bc he promised to pay the bill bc he wanted the cable ( for sports ) not me I always asked what if we break up then he would laugh and say that's not going to happen. Anyways the new bill was coming up I asked how he was going to pay if he quits his job and he said he wasn't going to quit so I'm like what how are you gonna get back n forth with no car! He was driving my car but we only live a couple blocks from his work! He never answered so I always questioned that! Then he started taking his weight bench apart and I knew he was serious then but still thought he loves me he will he back once he starts missing me like always! So he leaves I'm upset crying pissed can't eat depressed... The works! I manage to make it 2 weeks no contact the longest ever still no word so I text his mom to tell him to call me then realized the time he was bout to go to work! I started getting antsy bc I really wanted to talk to him so I drove to his work! I pulled up and you not he's in a girls car just sitting there! He sees me I get out he gets out and I ask him who the heck is that he begins to tell me it's his ride. He lives 30 miles from work! Who tf is going to go out of their way to do that unless she lives in the same town as him! I asked how come he has never mentioned her before and he was like she's the supervisor! I'm like so that's who you left me for he insists no! So then he gets in my car and we had a long discussion about is going on and why haven't I heard from him he then goes to say he left bc he wanted to and I'm like I'm the one that got upset over our anniversary if that hadn't happend we would still be together! Then he goes on to tell me his family don't like me ( I thought his family loved me) his mom always texted me and his sisters always tagged me in Facebook family stuff. Then he says he just doesn't feel the same about me and I'm baffled where did this come from! I said the day we broke up he had told me he loved me like 50 times as he did everyday! I asked if he was just faking he said no he meant it at the time but he's been thinking then he starts to say he just needs time to think I told him how could he question our love and relationship like that! I tried to hug him but he pushed me off and told me to stop like I was nothing to him, Then I ask what he's been doing he said he's been partying and then I ask if he's been with anyone and he says no but I could tell he was lying so I asked him again and he says yes once I was so shocked I didn't actually think he had and even if he did wether he would tell me. So then I'm like are you serious it hasn't even been two weeks and I just had surgery you left me when I needed help so you can party and have sex with other girls! He doesn't say anything then he says he was drunk ok..... Said he didn't plan it and it didn't mean anything! Like ?!?!? So then I ask bout ten times if it's anyone I know and he just says he's not going to tell me so he don't even know why I'm asking! I immediately start to get furious with him and I can't believe he ruined any chance of us being together! Mind you he's already 30 min late for work he didn't have to talk with me or tell me that but he did! I'm thankful for that bc I would have just been miserable having false hope that he's going to come back for god knows how long! I asked him if he used protection he said yes he got it from his brother which made me sick to my stomach. Like just to tell your bro your gonna have sex with someone else gross! And he said he didn't plan it. So now I got all these visions in my head of him doing god knows what with God knows who? Who is she and all these questions like how could he? So I tell him to get the f outta my car and I never want to hear from him again and that's the last time we spoke! Exactly a month ago today so 2 weeks no contact! He's still working down the road and getting rides with that girl! Then today I'm on my way to pay my rent and I see them in her car him driving it to work! So I'm almost certain it's her! How could he? I'm still so miserable it hasn't gotten better! I wake up everyday just so upset! I'm trying to heal from my surgery and doing everything by myself while he just so easily moved on like what we had was nothing! We shared my apartment and since I'm not working all I see is him everywhere! As I said before all My friends work or busy so I'm stuck to wallow in my thoughts all day nothing I do helps I can't stop thinking about all of it it's always on my mind! I hate him for what he has done to me and to us and our future! The man who said he wanted to be with me forever and get married in the next year and have kids! What happened! I blame myself for not just going to bed that night we would still be together but I know if not then eventually he would've left regardless if he was so unhappy! I'm going crazy in my thoughts and just need some positive words from anyone! I don't go back to work for another month and can't really do much. Meanwhile he's out living it up and I'm miserable. How could he say he loves me and leave me in the situation I'm in! I've lost ten pounds and scared I'll lose more but no appetite. Not good for healing in this time. The pain is the worst in the morning as I'm not fully awake and the feelings come rushing in on me again! He was so perfect for me we were so good together and happy I thought I had found the one now I'm almost 31 single and no kids depressed living alone! Idk what to do! When will it be my turn?

Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, I don't know when it's going to be your turn, but thank your lucky stars that you got rid of him. Last thing you need is to be chained to a man who falls to pieces over a shoulder injury and runs home to mommy when he has a problem with his relationship. Imagine what he'd be like as a husband? Or a father? I know you think he's great, but that's just your feelings talking. Reread your post again and take a look at his behavior. You can do a lot better.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you trust me I know, I have thought the same things, it just hurts because he's happy and I'm so alone and miserable now! But your right, always running home to mommy! He thinks he upgraded but how if he's back sleeping on his moms couch? Lol and all his family I met them and I was pretty sure they all liked me until he runs home to them and prolly talks crap on me! and so now to see him a month later already with someone new makes him look pretty crappy in my opinion to his family! I don't know if it's just a rebound or not but I just don't see how you can love someone one day then move on so quickly over a stupid argument

Link to post
Share on other sites

I can't read this in one block, but just going by the first couple of lines: Your relationship WASN'T "great" if, in a year of being together, you broke up multiple times. I never get the disconnect when people claim they have these awesome relationships, yet they cite multiple occurrences of break-ups, fighting, cheating, etc.

Link to post
Share on other sites
I can't read this in one block, but just going by the first couple of lines: Your relationship WASN'T "great" if, in a year of being together, you broke up multiple times. I never get the disconnect when people claim they have these awesome relationships, yet they cite multiple occurrences of break-ups, fighting, cheating, etc.

 

Seriously.

 

Just take the time to move on and heal yourself. Then you will see what a loser this guy was. Believe me he's not truly happy. He's just really good at avoiding having any emotions or feelings.

 

Take time for yourself and learn to make yourself happy so you can attract a quality partner.

Link to post
Share on other sites

What a drama filled mess. Just reading this was stressful. I know you're hurting now, but someday soon you will look back and be relieved that you didn't waste any more time on this loser. He's an immature, weak little boy. And that is not who you want to marry and have kids with. And you don't want to be attached to his toxic mother forever either.

 

This feels like an ending right now, and that's okay. Breathe deep through the pain and try to think about the relationship objectively. What worked, what didn't. Ways you were compatible, and the ways you were not. What have you learned about yourself and what you want/need in future relationships? Eventually you'll see this for the fresh start that it really is. You are still young enough to find a good man to marry and have kids with. Be patient with yourself, and don't lose hope.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Totally agree with Heather. The breakup and makeup nature of your relationship makes it a bad relationship. He would run home to mommy too. What a baby! Stop wasting time with little boys!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...