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Do I try again or cut her off?


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I have a friend at university, who for around a year now has been distant and off with me. It happened around the time that I changed to a different PhD supervisor, we used to have the same person and I had an argument with him and changed. I'm pretty sure I got caught up in the middle of something going on between them, as she was always telling me that he invited himself to her house, back to his etc. Right before I fell out with him she asked me would I come to his house with her for dinner as she was too nervous to go alone, and I refused, she said 'oops, I already told him you're coming'. I told her that wasn't right of her and then dropped it. She was very interested in my falling out with him, always asking what was going on, offering to speak with him etc.

 

Anyway since I changed to a new person, I thought things were normal and I would try and arrange meet ups with her as usual and she would keep making excuses as to why she couldn't. The only time she made any contact was to ask me questions about work related things, so I figured okay we aren't friends now but more like colleagues, so during a clear out I restricted her on my Facebook so she couldn't see anything on my profile. She messaged me then really upset asking did I hate her etc (and she would have had to have clicked on my profile to find out about that). That's when we had a bit of a chat and she said she felt the distance too, and wanted to reconnect and I was still important to her. But nothing changed, other than that a couple of months later she dropped off a Christmas present to me, which is sweet as she is Muslim, but the present was a diary that had been a present to HER (there was a message in the front of the diary). She had written in the Christmas card 'we will always be friends, right?'

 

We have a lot of mutual friends and we arrange get togethers as a big group of PhD students, and a couple of people have told me that she says she thinks that I am scary and intimidating (which luckily, they thought was funny). I have also been excluded from some events she's arranged, which I did ask her once or twice why and her reasoning was either I intimidate people because I am English and they are all International students, or that she assumed I was busy in my new relationship (she is recently married so that is hardly fair!).

 

I am slightly concerned I will get excluded from my group of friends-but not overly as I will be leaving uni soon, and I'm too tired to care sometimes. But do you think I should ask her one more time what the problem is? Or cut her off completely? I feel like just blocking her on FB but then the anxious messages will start again. I find myself making y statuses towards her, and sometimes wishing something bad could happen to her for her nearly ruining my PhD. It's made me a bitter person I don't like sometimes. I wish I didn't care!

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