She hates me now because I called the cops on her.

[TheWonderer]

One night a few years ago I told my abusive ex-girlfriend during our ump-teenth argument driven by her insecurities and jealousy that I was done and wanted out of the relationship. I walked out of the room to cool off because we'd been getting loud...walked back in to say goodnight and found her lying on her bed, pistol in hand, giving me a blank stare. She wouldn't answer my questions or even speak...just stared at me blankly. I eventually talked her into putting the gun down and hid the clip. I didn't call the police and have regretted that ever since, because it green-lighted a lot more bad behavior.

 

So, no, you did the right thing. Abuse takes on many forms and needs to be stopped when it's first showing itself and a person needs to get out, then and there. I speak from experience...

[pandaofspdez]

Update: after me blocking her from everything. And doing alright without her. She finds me on tumblr, and she tells me that. She wants me to be happy. And all this stuff. But in my head i felt like how are you gonna tell me to be happy when you messed my life up? Its not like it was a real apoligy, i feel like i deserved at least a phone call. I got real upset by it. I havent replied to her msgs. So i just left it alone. I want to talk to her. But if i do, i know ill just get even more upset.

[pandaofspdez]

update: its been 2 years. holy . doing my own thing. but today and the last couple of days. i guess i had like relapse of her in my thoughts. does the truma ever go away? idk why i still think of her. but like why am i still suffering?

[lolita]

I feel your pain! I m in a very similar situation with my ex Boyfriend. Over a heated arguments that ended up physical, we both call the cops on each other (we were both drunk not thinking straight) He said he didn't call them but the doorman of my building confirmed that he did. Story short, we were both arrested ( I have never been in trouble my entire life) we have now a temporary restraining order on each other.

He kept the apt, the furniture everything and I was left to the curb. No family around. Some friends hosted me for couple of weeks until I could get a few cloths back and found a temporary studio.

My all life has fallen a part. The few times I could see him escorted by the cops to pick up a few things in our apt. He would tell the cops horrible things. He wouldn't even look at me or talk to me. He would talk through the cops. It has been 2 month and half and our case still going on for another month before everything get dismissed. I m beyond devastated I still love him so much but he seems to still hates me even after 2 month and half . I don't understand we went through the same trouble. Why would he still be enraged and me still loving him? I had the hope to come back living with him after the case as most of my things are still over there. I m scared that he will never forgive me and never allow me back in the apt. ( We had just moved in a new apt tgt, I had stop the lease of my apt and sold a lot of furnitures) I can't sleep, I can't eat but I have still get myself to go to work. I m broken inside like I have never been before. My ex was I believe a narcissist and created in me a trauma bond. Like a drug addict that needs his fix and I can't nor he can't initiate any contact. That's the most brutal horrible forced break up. Hope you are doing better now!

[abesherman]

So I guess my ex-girlfriend, who (used) live with me. Hates me because I called the cops on her, was I wrong?

 

The reason I called the cops:

So we're in the car, we were arguing, and it escalated in to intense yelling., then she grabbed my arm. And I told her to let go. (Because I was trying to walk away from the situation) but she didn't, so I threaten to call the cops, then she starts hitting me because she panicked. And then she threw her food at me then left.

Later she comes in my room, screaming at me saying "your lucky I dont break your face"

!" And then she was like, " you may not know what to do with your life, but I have opportunities! " and "she goes on about are you gonna take me to work on monday?"

Of course man, like I'm scared already, and I didn't wanna answer her. So I tried to walk away from her again. But this time she blocks the door. And she kept repeating the question. So I had to "move" her. (Picked her up and move her out of my way) then she follows me to the backyard. But I close the door behind me , so I could get away from her. But then she wedges her foot and fingers thru the door. Now I applied just enough force to not harm her. But I guess I was wrong. Because her toe was bleeding. I felt so bad. And there was so much blood. And she's screaming I HATE YOU I HATE YOU, DON'T ING HELP ME. and then after she got cleanew up and she goes back to my room and she starts beating on me and shoving me, I didn't do anything back. But the way she looked at me, really scares me. She looked at me like she didn't know me any more.

 

The next day, she called me, saying "did you think that was ok ?" And told her yeah and then she hang up.

 

So was I in the wrong to call the cops ? I really care for this girl, and I didn't mean for this to happen. Do u think me and her can at least be friends?

Just hearing how she takes to u, she has no respect to herself or you. You definitely dont want friends like that. Stay away from her.

[mack1490]

ABSOLUTELY NOT! You are 100% in the right for calling the cops, I would have called the cops too. There is NO PLACE AT ALL for physical abuse in any relationship. The second someone lays hands on their significant other, there is absolutely no turning back. She hit you, she blocked you in the door, she is in the wrong here. She honestly needs to be in jail. Kick this abusive woman out of your life forever, and never look back. I promise you she will do this again. Ones an abuser, always an abuser.

[WindowSeat]

Nope. You were right to do it. I wouldn’t even want to be friends with her.