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She hates me now because I called the cops on her.


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So I guess my ex-girlfriend, who (used) live with me. Hates me because I called the cops on her, was I wrong?

 

The reason I called the cops:

So we're in the car, we were arguing, and it escalated in to intense yelling., then she grabbed my arm. And I told her to let go. (Because I was trying to walk away from the situation) but she didn't, so I threaten to call the cops, then she starts hitting me because she panicked. And then she threw her food at me then left.

Later she comes in my room, screaming at me saying "your lucky I dont break your face"

!" And then she was like, " you may not know what to do with your life, but I have opportunities! " and "she goes on about are you gonna take me to work on monday?"

Of course man, like I'm scared already, and I didn't wanna answer her. So I tried to walk away from her again. But this time she blocks the door. And she kept repeating the question. So I had to "move" her. (Picked her up and move her out of my way) then she follows me to the backyard. But I close the door behind me , so I could get away from her. But then she wedges her foot and fingers thru the door. Now I applied just enough force to not harm her. But I guess I was wrong. Because her toe was bleeding. I felt so bad. And there was so much blood. And she's screaming I HATE YOU I HATE YOU, DON'T ING HELP ME. and then after she got cleanew up and she goes back to my room and she starts beating on me and shoving me, I didn't do anything back. But the way she looked at me, really scares me. She looked at me like she didn't know me any more.

 

The next day, she called me, saying "did you think that was ok ?" And told her yeah and then she hang up.

 

So was I in the wrong to call the cops ? I really care for this girl, and I didn't mean for this to happen. Do u think me and her can at least be friends?

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I'm going to catch heat for this and be labeled a pig most likely, but hell NO you were not wrong to call the cops.

 

This situation has me particularly heated because I had to do the same thing with my ex a year ago while we were still together. She was verbally harassing me about something that I had nothing to do with - at ONE in the morning, not letting me sleep, just drunkenly having a good go at me. I asked her to let me sleep. She wouldn't. I told her I would go home to my place and sleep. She wouldn't stop. So I got up, got my clothes on and tried to leave. She blocked the door, and I didn't lay a hand on her because a woman could tell a cop that and YOU would be in jail. So I psyched her out and made it out of there. So she follows me outside and as I open my car door, she jumps in my driver's seat saying "You're not going anywhere." I threatened to call the cops, she said "Go ahead, I'll tell them you're drunk." Didn't move. So I called her bluff. The cops came, MADE her go back in her house. She told them I was drunk and they laughed at her.

 

I caught flak from people for that - my friends, her friends - because I'm a guy she's a female and she was drunk and emotional *whatever*, but I swear that's such a double standard. I don't care if she's a female, if she is hitting you, blocking the doorway, threatening you etc., it is DARN WELL within your rights as a human being to call the police on her. I don't care that you're a man and she's a woman. Not only that, but you WARNED her and she overstepped that boundary.

 

Why do you want to be friends with that?!? With friends like that, who needs enemies? Drop her like a hot potato. What did the cops say?

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She sounds kinda psycho. I don't think this will be the last episode of violence leading to cops and possibly arrests. She may even invent a scene then call cops and turn it around so that You are arrested. This chick is a time bomb. I think no contact...maybe even restraining order would be best.

 

This part of the post amazes me most 6556508]I really care for this girl.Do u think me and her can at least be friends?

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So I guess my ex-girlfriend, who (used) live with me. Hates me because I called the cops on her, was I wrong?

 

The reason I called the cops:

So we're in the car, we were arguing, and it escalated in to intense yelling., then she grabbed my arm. And I told her to let go. (Because I was trying to walk away from the situation) but she didn't, so I threaten to call the cops, then she starts hitting me because she panicked. And then she threw her food at me then left.

Later she comes in my room, screaming at me saying "your lucky I dont break your face"

!" And then she was like, " you may not know what to do with your life, but I have opportunities! " and "she goes on about are you gonna take me to work on monday?"

Of course man, like I'm scared already, and I didn't wanna answer her. So I tried to walk away from her again. But this time she blocks the door. And she kept repeating the question. So I had to "move" her. (Picked her up and move her out of my way) then she follows me to the backyard. But I close the door behind me , so I could get away from her. But then she wedges her foot and fingers thru the door. Now I applied just enough force to not harm her. But I guess I was wrong. Because her toe was bleeding. I felt so bad. And there was so much blood. And she's screaming I HATE YOU I HATE YOU, DON'T ING HELP ME. and then after she got cleanew up and she goes back to my room and she starts beating on me and shoving me, I didn't do anything back. But the way she looked at me, really scares me. She looked at me like she didn't know me any more.

 

The next day, she called me, saying "did you think that was ok ?" And told her yeah and then she hang up.

 

So was I in the wrong to call the cops ? I really care for this girl, and I didn't mean for this to happen. Do u think me and her can at least be friends?

I'm sorry but where in there did you actually call the cops? You ask if you were wrong to but in your telling, you don't mention having called them on her. So, during all that, when did you call them and was she charged with anything?

 

From what you've explained, I think you're both wrong. Anyway, have you broken up? I sure hope so... and no, you can't be friends.

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You were absolutely NOT wrong for calling the cops! Just because she is a female, doesn't mean she has a right to hit you. Period. I've seen way too many guys suffer their girlfriends/wives smacked them, and they just sit there and take it. I'm not condoning violence; I would never do that. You were completely right to call the police and get it handled.

 

As for everything else, I suggest you leave it be. I know exactly how you're feeling. They've physically hurt you, put you at your emotional wit's end, but you still care about them. At that point, that emotion can only be used against you. If she's as unstable as she seems, I promise you, she may come back to pester you in some manner. Most likely to come at you as aggressively as she has in the past. At that point, you need to avoid her, don't answer her calls, don't answer the door, call the police if she doesn't take a hint and leave you be. If someone wants to hurt you, they will hurt you no matter who they are. If she's mad enough and she doesn't come back, know that it's for the best.

 

If none of this convinces you, think of this. I stayed with my significant other for four years, caring about him and trying to avoid anything that made him mad. People told me to leave, I didn't. The violence only got worse, and I barely got away from him to type this comment. It scares me when I hear about people in these situations. Ask yourself these question: is she capable of worse? Will I still care about her if it does? Will I be happy if this is the nature of the rest of my life?

 

You deserve better. Way better. Stay away from her, and keep her away from you. For the sake of everyone that cares about you.

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Yes, you were wrong. You're a big, strong, man and you were scared of a girl? Oh come on now! Scaredy cat that had to slam a door on her foot. Big man. Yeah, right. Notice she had bigger cajones and didn't call the cops on you. She could have, but she was the bigger person.l

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when we were in the car arguing, she grabbed my arm. and told her to let go. but she didnt so i had to remove my with some force to get away from her. and then when i was outside then i called the cops. but i hung up. why? because i thought of our friendship and i didnt want her to go jail. yeah we're not together anymore.

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Yes, you were wrong. You're a big, strong, man and you were scared of a girl? Oh come on now! Scaredy cat that had to slam a door on her foot. Big man. Yeah, right. Notice she had bigger cajones and didn't call the cops on you. She could have, but she was the bigger person.l

 

Nothing like blaming the victim.

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when we were in the car arguing, she grabbed my arm. and told her to let go. but she didnt so i had to remove my with some force to get away from her. and then when i was outside then i called the cops. but i hung up. why? because i thought of our friendship and i didnt want her to go jail. yeah we're not together anymore.

 

Sounds like a bit of an overreaction to call the cops in the first instance, with just some yelling and holding onto your arm? But again, I wasn't there, she could've been really threatening and scary, so that it was a fair reaction.

 

Has she ever been violent towards you before?

 

In any case, men are perfectly entitled to be scared. Just because they are men, doesn't mean they're invincible. That's a pretty sexist and backward view I'll say.

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Yes, you were wrong. You're a big, strong, man and you were scared of a girl? Oh come on now! Scaredy cat that had to slam a door on her foot. Big man. Yeah, right. Notice she had bigger cajones and didn't call the cops on you. She could have, but she was the bigger person.l
Honestly, I commend him and she's lucky it was him and not me. Girlfriend or not, you assault me, try to obstruct my path of exit, pursue me, I'm not waiting on the cops to bail me out. You'll end up on the floor with my knee and shin pinning your body and face against the floor until you've calmed down or exhausted yourself. I've seen women fight, and you don't need to weigh 180 pounds to inflict some serious damage even if a man would be favored heavily to "win." Y'all fight dirty.

 

OP, don't get near this woman again. And think hard about calling the cops. Real good chance she won't be the one who gets arrested.

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Yes, you were wrong. You're a big, strong, man and you were scared of a girl? Oh come on now! Scaredy cat that had to slam a door on her foot. Big man. Yeah, right. Notice she had bigger cajones and didn't call the cops on you. She could have, but she was the bigger person.l

 

And this gender-stereotyping mentality is why boys/men are AFRAID to seek help from abusive relationships, and reports of abuse/rape are under reported by them; because of this social stigma.

 

The actor who plays Quicksilver in the upcoming X-men movie? He was abused by Emma Roberts and had to get the police involved: (such a shame, he's a hottie).

 

OP, I would of done the same. Don't let anyone else say you were wrong.

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Yes, you were wrong. You're a big, strong, man and you were scared of a girl? Oh come on now! Scaredy cat that had to slam a door on her foot. Big man. Yeah, right. Notice she had bigger cajones and didn't call the cops on you. She could have, but she was the bigger person.l

 

This is pretty have victim blaming. Once someone put their hands on you, that's it. There is no excuse.

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Yes, you were wrong. You're a big, strong, man and you were scared of a girl? Oh come on now! Scaredy cat that had to slam a door on her foot. Big man. Yeah, right. Notice she had bigger cajones and didn't call the cops on you. She could have, but she was the bigger person.l

 

Don't get your response, at all!

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Yes, you were wrong. You're a big, strong, man and you were scared of a girl? Oh come on now! Scaredy cat that had to slam a door on her foot. Big man. Yeah, right. Notice she had bigger cajones and didn't call the cops on you. She could have, but she was the bigger person.l

 

Yeah I don't get your response. How exactly was he scared?

 

I'll explain. Put me in the same position. I either try and block her the best I can, and remember it's really hard to try and stop someone hitting you while not exerting force on them, or I gently (and I mean gently) retaliate and probably, at best, break her jaw in two places. Am I still a scaredy cat then? And then what happens to me, hmm?

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You were absolutely correct to call the cops, women like this can land you in serious trouble with the law when you're completely in the right. You pre-empted her actions, and her behaviour is now on record for any future problems she causes with you or anybody else. 'Jigsup' is utterly clueless with how these things work, ignore their comment.

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You did the right thing, if you tried to move her out of the car you could be guilty of assault, and these days charges have been laid because neighbours called the police because couple was arguing loudly and guy was sentenced even when his wife told that it was just a small argument.

 

She is a psycho and you should get away from her.

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Yes, you were wrong. You're a big, strong, man and you were scared of a girl? Oh come on now! Scaredy cat that had to slam a door on her foot. Big man. Yeah, right. Notice she had bigger cajones and didn't call the cops on you. She could have, but she was the bigger person.l

 

 

I hope to God you are kidding?

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