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I've fallen in love with my flatmate (and best friend)

musicatemylife

By musicatemylife
in Dating Advice

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musicatemylife Newbie

musicatemylife

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I'm 20 years old, male and at uni. I met this girl in the first week of uni, as she lived in the flat bellow mine, and we've been best friends pretty much ever since. Something just clicked. I went through a phase initially where I really liked her. I am almost told her about my feelings until my friends convinced me not to, as they'd talked to her, and she didn't feel the same way. Eventually after having tried really hard, these feelings went away and we stayed really close friends. We went interrailing together over summer, and I felt the relationship at that point was completely platonic. This year she is my flat mate, which initially wasn't a problem. At the start of this year (2016) I was seeing another girl, who I really liked, but never thought I could truly give 100% to, and then I realised that maybe my feelings had still been there all along, I just didn't realise. Around the same time, we had a couple days when she wasn't speaking to me, as I pissed her off, and it hurt, it hurt more than when anyone has been ignoring me. We quickly made up, but it did make me realise something. Those feeling subdued over the last couple months, until around Easter, when they've come back, more intense than ever. We often cook for each other, and fall asleep in her bed watching a film before we go to sleep. I feel as if I should tell her my feelings, to at least get that out in the open. that wouldn't problem if I wasn't living with her this year, and living with her next year. If there isn't the same feelings there then I will have a constant reminder of that every day for the next year and a bit. As well as this, I can't talk to my close friends, as they are all living with me now or next year, so this could cause problems. Moreover I'm not the first close guy friend of hers to start to like her, and she always has mentioned in the past how it makes her uncomfortable and awkward. I don't want to happen if I ask.

 

I feel like she is the one, I know there are plenty more fish in the sea ect, but when I see here my heart drops. She seems to place a lot more trust in my than other guys friends, I don't know what I should do, fight these feelings, or tell her and potentially ruin a friendship that I cherish?

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BlarneyStone Rookie

BlarneyStone

Posted
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Seriously?? Hopefully that was sarcasm, but even if it was, pretty tasteless (imo).

 

Not really. Although I'll admit it's a cruel way of putting it. Somewhere, in the way way way back of this girl's mind, she enjoys the fact that she has OP by the balls.

 

Women are not oblivious to the friendzone, they just pretend like they are and don't really care. Not that it's a big deal, it's not her fault he's in love with her and can't do anything about it.

 

Or can he? If he treats her indifferently ie that he can be just fine without her in his life, or maybe parades a few girls around the flat to get her jealous, maybe she'll "realize" she does in fact like him back. Seen it happen a hundred times.

 

So yeah, that's a more thorough way of saying treat her like crap. But the verbiage isn't that important.

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Ms Darcy Mentor

Ms Darcy

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Not really. Although I'll admit it's a cruel way of putting it. Somewhere, in the way way way back of this girl's mind, she enjoys the fact that she has OP by the balls.

 

What? We don't even know if she really knows how he feels. Many women are friends with men and don't expect for those men to suddenly fall for them. There is no "knowing you have a guy by the balls" especially when he has secret feelings.

 

She was approached by friends who suggested they get together and she expressed no interest in romance. That's all he needs to know to move on.

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