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Thank you MB 😊

No, I am not waiting or getting involved with a taken woman no matter how much I want her. I am a practical person; I know reality almost never plays out as I planned or imagined. I have learned this the hard way. Let’s put aside the moral issues for a bit. One thing is having chemistry/fun with a person and another being in a relationship with this person. There is a good chance of having major incompatibility issues in your daily life. You don’t know if you haven’t tried.

Have I imagined about trying to “make her” break up with her boyfriend? Yes. Have I thought about sticking around until something happens and she breaks up with her long-term boyfriend? Yes. But one thing is imagining all this stuff and another actually doing them. Both scenarios don’t make any sense, they are waste of time and effort and there would be too much drama.

Besides, I am not putting my life on hold for nobody in this world. Nobody!

She knows the boundaries too. One sentence is like “you are awesome” and the other is “my boyfriend did x and y etc”. As I mentioned she is as perceptive, playful and sly as me lol. She is as sassy as she could be without crossing the line.

Do I like her? You bet. I like her a lot! The more time I spend with her - even on virtual meetings until we get back to the office – the more I like her. It’s so unusual for me to find a person with whom I have such a great chemistry (both physically and mentally). I am a difficult person, I acknowledge this, I don’t compromise. I have an all or nothing personality. This is why I am alone but I don’t care. I prefer nothing than 60% like most people (and I am being generous with the 60%).

Regarding the friendzone thing, hmm, it does not work with me. I am the opposite, I am not the most forthcoming person at first but the more you know me the more you like me. Plus, I tend to get too flirty with girls I like hahaha.

I simply wish I could find someone like her who is single………ok I secretly wish she would break up with her boyfriend!

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I asked kamurj to delete my account as I wanted to focus on work. It seems you can't delete your account so here I am again lol My intuition was right! I came back to Liverpool three weeks a

There is magic in this world, it's called nature 🙂  Birkenhead (the town on the other side of the river) during sunset!

He has to give me a sign, how else I am supposed to know? I am just asking for a small fall out between two mere mortals. That's it. No, actually after the fall out she needs to fall in love with me o

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I lost control today. Like completely lost it. This petty mothef*cker on the second floor had a small verbal altercation with my mother and although he was rude to her he came upstairs, knocked my door and started telling me how my mother was rude to him. He started yelling for no reason (despite claiming he is civilized) like all these petty street hustlers do when they try to intimidate people and then I just lost it. The whole building and subsequently the whole neighbourhood were watching like it was a football match. I have inherited the temper from my mother, I am not that short tempered like her but when I get angry (which is extremely rare nowadays) I just lose it completely. I grabbed a swiss knife just in case; I shouldn’t have because I can’t control myself after a certain point.

 

Now I have to be careful until my flight, street turds have many friends…Also, I don’t want something in my record which could cause problems in my job. I just don’t like scumbags and I don’t like people messing with my family… I took some pills to calm down but I can’t relax. I always try to just pretend I am angry but I lose it completely when things escalate. I know this so I always avoid this sort of situations which could trigger me (which honestly is very difficult with my mother). I am not even smart, I lose it no matter who I have in front of me (I am not a big guy and I have absolutely no idea from any kind of self-defence). You back away and swallow your pride one time, two times, ten times, one hundred times…at some point you explode…. and this assh*le has been an assh*le for many many years. It’s true, a bad neighbour is worse than a bad partner, you can’t even kick him/her out.

 

Oh boy, my heart is still pounding...I got so enraged...

 

 

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44 minutes ago, dias said:

I am not even smart, I lose it no matter who I have in front of me (I am not a big guy and I have absolutely no idea from any kind of self-defence).

I am like that, too. In the moment, I have no fear. Then afterwards, I think, How could you do that?? That could have been dangerous! And I feel like I have to watch my back. So, I always try to avoid altercations like that. 

Hopefully everything settles down for you guys.

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On 12/12/2020 at 6:47 PM, Jibralta said:

I am like that, too. In the moment, I have no fear. Then afterwards, I think, How could you do that?? That could have been dangerous! 

Hopefully everything settles down for you guys.

It's a problem. You can end up in a very bad situation with some really dangerous people. It's a character flaw, I can't get so angry but still control myself like other people. I am very quiet and calm person 99.9% of the time but if you push my buttons then I go from 0 to 100 in milliseconds and I lose it completely. I see red. 

There are two things which get me enraged:

1)Shouting/yelling at me provocatively

2)Talking to me in an impudent authoritarian way

I faced issues like this in London multiple times with some random low-life street punks I had never met in my life before. You know the story, you are walking casually and a street turd says something, then you stop and he is like "what are you looking at?"  Of course, I backed away every time, I know the score when there are 5 people double the size of me high on drugs. But I am not afraid, if we were in a deserted place and I had an equalizer like they had it would have been a different result. Because I am educated and not a street hustler it does not mean I am afraid of low life punks. 

This situation will never change here, it's been going on forever like this. I am thinking about renting the apartment at some point since I will probably stay in the UK for good. 

On another note, I lost my flight, arrived late to the airport...I will take another one in a few days. I am not missing my roommates anyway. As soon as I find the right job, I will rent alone immediately. No more saving but no more roommates as well. 

 

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On 12/4/2020 at 12:08 PM, dias said:

t confirmed one more interview with a similar company. I have a good feeling that one of the two will work out. Let's see, fingers crossed.

I asked kamurj to delete my account as I wanted to focus on work. It seems you can't delete your account so here I am again lol

My intuition was right!

I came back to Liverpool three weeks ago. I focused on interview preparation, tests, programming assignments etc. I managed -finally- to find a job as a Data Engineer at the largest insurance company of the UK. Finally! It took me only 4 months, more than a thousand applications (a lot more actually), many interviews and tests but I finally got it. It is not my desired salary but it is satisfactory enough for this initial stage. I am quite happy about it. I will learn the latest technologies and software tools which is extremely important in the IT industry.

I had to choose between Norwich, England or Perth, Scotland*. I chose Norwich apparently (too cold and rainy up there in Scotland for me) but I have the opportunity to relocate to Perth whenever I want. I am searching for places to rent in Norwich but I can’t find something satisfactory online. We are still working from home and therefore it is not necessary to move to Norwich right now. I will continue living in Liverpool for the time being and relocate to Norwich when we are able to go back to the office. Plus, I want to find a nice place to live.

I am starting on the 1st of February. I handed my resignation letter in my current job on the 31st of December! On Christmas Eve I received the positive news, on Christmas day I ran 30km to celebrate it, on New Year’s Eve I signed the contract and I ran 20km yesterday! My roommates celebrated new year by throwing a party, I celebrated new year by finding a better job and breaking my own running record (lost a toenail in the process but it’s part of the marathon journey)

I am making very conscious effort to change the way I think and operate. No more impulsive and rushed decisions that lead nowhere. It’s quite difficult for a very impatient person like me but it has to be done and it requires conscious effort. No more settling for average! No more stupid mistakes! Time to think long term!

 

*For a moment I thought it was the Perth in Australia as I didn’t know that Scotland has Perth too. Images of surfer chicks inundated my brain for a few seconds until I googled it. Ahhhh, it would have been too good to be true lol

Greetings from Liverpool 😊

 

PS. Although belatedly, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Jibralta :))

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One evening before the last lockdown happened whilst I was walking on the street a drunk girl left her group and came to me uttering some unintelligible words. I did not give her much attention and continued walking. She walked beside me and held my hand. Ok here we are I thought – the girl is ready for action lol. “Can you give me a piggyback back home?” she asked me. I didn’t know what a piggyback was so I replied negatively*. Then her boyfriend with his friends came over asking her “what are you doing with this *****?come here and get in the taxi” along with some Scouse profanities I didn’t grasp as the guy was so drunk he was stammering. Now, I was not offended or spooked at all because they were so drunk they could barely walk.

*I googled the word later.. lol..she was looking for a free ride home on my back? Do I look so stupid? hahaha I reckoned she was close to 75-80kg (yeah quite hefty lady), I can’t even squat that much, let alone give piggyback.

 

 

The only thing I have to do is to go out and pick up drunk women but I have become so freakin lazy I don’t even do this simple thing. I am not sure sex with drunk women is worth the hassle though. I have never slept with a drunk woman but I had sex with a girl who was on cocaine once upon a time and it wasn’t good sex despite her eagerness. I do not think she actually felt anything and it’s not like I got unlucky with this body part. Plus, I think my world class cunnilingus went unnoticed which bothered me lol. So much love, art and talent got wasted and unappreciated! She also wanted to try the second garage and I couldn’t perform… ah still hitting my head against the wall haha. 

She offered me cocaine though which was very generous of her given it cost 100 euros per gram. I am not into drugs whatsoever but if there was one drug I would do that would be cocaine. I thought about it for a couple of minutes, it was very tempting, I was ready to succumb to be honest. Then I looked at her; She had too much energy and too much pseudo-confidence. I decided it’s better not to do it. Thankfully!

I am very lucky I am not into drugs. With my addictive personality I would have sniffed all the cocaine of Colombia.

 

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15 hours ago, dias said:

I am not sure sex with drunk women is worth the hassle though.

I'd leave that alone if I were you. You don't want to get caught up in someone's morning after regrets.

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1 hour ago, Jibralta said:

I'd leave that alone if I were you. You don't want to get caught up in someone's morning after regrets.

Hmmm I am more hesitant because if someone is so drunk that could have sex with a stranger she wouldn't really feel much during sex. Unfortunately, I am the kind of guy who takes pleasure from giving pleasure so if a girl does not  "respond" much I don't like it either. On the other hand, it's "easy" (ok maybe not that easy if you carry her on your back for some kms lol) sex, I don't even have to talk much or even make the first move. Besides, there would be a good chance of her closing the door in my face after walking her home. I would feel the used one in this case haha

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I watched a video on Youtube from an ex miss Connecticut describing how she developed an eating disorder as a model and how she gained a lot of weight when she quit modelling.

Here is the thing, we all have a genetic set point where we fill comfortable and can function 100%. Everyone has a different set point, some are naturally leaner and some are naturally heavier. An ectomorph for example can sustain single digit bodyfat percentage* way easier than an endomorph who not only has a hard time getting to this body fat percentage but also maintaining it is like a torment. The lower you get below your set point the less able you are to function properly. In effect, you just become miserable.

I looked at the pics of this model and the reason she was struggling to maintain low body fat is because her genetic set point was way higher than her weight at the time. Even as a model she was not so lean, her body type was not the typical skinny modelish body type. Not surprisingly when she quit modelling, she gained a lot of weight. This is natural and expected; it is the body’s reaction to prolonged periods of starvation. Check Ghrelin hormone. Of course, after months of gaining weight you stop feeling hungry anymore at some point. Then, usually you start eating normally again (as much as your body needs - not as much as you want) and you lose weight slowly until you get close to your set point.

Everyone who is struggling with weight has to find his/her own genetic set point. Now, this is not an excuse to get fat, the genetic set point lies within a normal range of body fat percentages – meaning just a normal weight, not fat or lean.

For me, my body fat percentage fluctuates between 11% and 15%. Below 11% I feel tired and hungry, I can’t sleep well and my testosterone decreases. Above 15%, I feel sluggish, tired, unmotivated and not happy with the way I look. I would say my genetic set point is 14-16% but I can handle being 11-12% without under performing in my everyday life.

Having said that, for those who are interested in aesthetics etc getting shredded or having a modelish body (for women) is difficult (there is no way you won’t feel hungry) and is not maintainable for long unless you won the gene lottery or you like being a miserable very good looking person.  

 

*talking about males here, females can’t get that low by nature

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I didn’t know why I got so hooked on ultra-marathons the last few months until I watched many ultra-marathon videos on Youtube. What I gathered about ultra-marathon runners based on the interviews:

 

1)Ultra-marathon runners do it because they enjoy the outdoors and nature✔️

 

2)They enjoy exercising (obviously)✔️

 

3)They have addictive personalities ✔️✔️

 

4)Ultra marathons give you a sense of purpose✔️✔️✔️

 

Now I understand why I got so obsessed with ultra-marathons recently. I have incorporated a lot of running in my daily life. I used to jog/run in the past but it wasn’t long-distance running and kind of purposeless and boring, only to burn calories mostly. What makes the difference is the long-distance part. It provides a goal and a sense of purpose. I found it calms down my natural tendency to get on a boat and leave everything behind. I can’t stand still or feel stagnant and I find long-distance running helps me to placate this need. I love nature too so it combines everything.

 

I am quite happy I found something to curb my impulsions whilst satisfying my needs + giving me a sense of purpose (which it’s necessary for me) + making me healthier.

 

My record is 30kms in 3 hours and 40 minutes. It’s not a good time but I am new to long-distance running + I like running slowly and enjoying the view. I want to do a 50k the next time. I do 2 or 3 10k during the week, I am focusing on building the endurance for the time being. When I achieve to run a 50k I would like to participate in marathons around the world. I can’t think a better reason to travel and I won’t have to quit my job to do it. Killing two birds with one stone 🙂

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Liverpool Echo newspaper published today the photo I uploaded a few posts ago. Quite elated about it 😊

I will try to publish one or two more before I move to Norwich. I am struggling to find another part of the city as beautiful as Albert Dock though. I will wander around more…

I took this new one a few days ago. The building with the clock tower is where the last Batman movie was filmed (with Robert Pattinson). The most suitable building to depict Gotham city, good choice.

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This guy is one year younger than me and he is a billionaire. It’s not the billionaire part which I find amazing but the fact that he started from scratch 10 years ago without any venture capital or angel investor to back him up initially. It takes a lot of maturity and competence to build such a successful brand at this young age without derailing whatsoever.

The second most admirable aspect of his story is that he is in the fitness industry (clothes mostly I think) which is an over-over-over-saturated market. There is so much competition from big brands and small businesses. Based on the videos, I believe his vision is to become the next Nike which seems totally feasible.

There are some very young tech guys who became very successful early on but they are usually some sort of prodigies or gifted individuals + the tech industry is the right environment for this. This guy did it in the fitness industry which is truly admirable and he did it in the UK, not the US. I am saying this because the US market is a completely different market, way larger than every other market in the world (with the exception of the Chinese market maybe).

He appears to be a genuinely good guy. There is a perceptible difference between the “old” and the “young” generation of entrepreneurs. I think nowadays, the business culture is leaning more toward collaboration and collectivism whereas 30-40 years ago it was more like a Gordon Gekko style. I believe it changed for the better. Not that I don’t like the style of Gordon Gekko (big fan of the movie lol), it’s really cool with the expensive suits, the power, the cigars, the hot women and the cocaine.

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Random thought 1:

It’s been rainy the last few days and it seems it will stay this way for the next 3-4 days according to the weather forecast. The temperature is higher when it rains but you can’t really do anything. I can’t go for a run… I ran a bit on the treadmill but I don’t like it. I want to be outdoors. I like running in the rain but only during the summer, I find it very invigorating and it raises my adrenaline levels for some reason. Running shirtless of course because we are cool guys here😎

 

Random thought 2:

I’ve been studying a bit of Python again, I was promised I will have the opportunity to use it in this new job. Hopefully it wasn’t just a promise, we will see in two weeks. I will for sure learn Oracle Cloud technologies which is quite awesome, I am very excited. Now this change is very important in terms of my “career”. I never wanted to climb the corporate ladder so I care mostly about learning new technical skills. You can make good enough money if you are a good engineer, not the highest salary (unless you really chase it) but you can have a comfortable living. So yeah, this new job seems promising for what I want.

 

Random thought 3:

This pandemic is really getting on my nerves. I want to socialize more, yeah, even a hermit like me needs to socialize now and then. Also, everything is closed due to lockdown. I have deferred promoting my app, I want to try again. My intuition says I shouldn’t give up on this app, dunno, I just want to try again. I use it and I like what I see, I think I have something good. I have 300+ downloads so far but it’s not the downloads I want as they are from other European countries or from North America. I want local people to use it, I need to promote it to local users.

 

You know, the key in an interview (non-technical) is to show off in a humble way. Yeah, it sounds bizarre but you need to find this sweet spot. Anyway, during the interview I pitched the app to the panel interview members – and they downloaded it lol.

 

Random thought 4:

I am not satisfied with myself. I am not the kind of person who avoids taking ownership of his mistakes. My present situation is the result of a series of past choices. It could have been worse but it could have been a lot better. I realize I wasn’t strict enough with myself, I cut myself some slack when I shouldn’t. Not good enough. It’s ok if you want to be average but I don’t.

 

Impatience is one of my major shortcomings but now I realise my biggest mistake was chasing short-term goals/satisfaction and being afraid to commit to something big which would require long term effort and investment. Thinking short term is not wise, it’s a slippery slope, I wanted shortcuts basically, this is it. I half-*ssed it in other words.

 

I am trying to get my sh*t together and take matters into my own hands. I dug my own pit, I fell into it, now I have to figure out how to get out. And it’s something I have to do alone without help. Back to square one to make things right this time.

 

This job seems promising as I mentioned. The long term goal is to become the best engineer I can be and in the meantime try to do something on the side which might succeed/fail but in any case I will know that I have a regular job to fall back. I am not going all in again without having something tangible first. Maybe for some people the all-in approach works but based on my previous experience I am not as lucky or gifted. It’s the difficult “boring” long term path for me. I don’t care, I will walk it.   

 

It’s not easy for me to commit to something but the only things I had success with were the ones I was fully committed to. I guess this fear of commitment stems from 1) immaturity 2) fear of losing my freedom* - although freedom is quite subjective and what I consider freedom changes over time  3) commitment for me is quite a big deal because in the rare case I do commit, I commit for years/life; it has to be something I believe it is worth it.

 

I don’t have any excuses now, everything I wanted to do I did it, I got it out of my system. I have to change, I can’t stay a kid forever.

 

*I believe my parents played a part on this as they were overprotective (and enablers), especially my mother. I am very independent by nature so I found it extremely suffocating. This is why I avoid controlling people like a plague, I feel stifled quite easily. I don’t really believe in therapy but I want to visit a psychologist one time, maybe there is a residue of unresolved parent issues.

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I find some threads very entertaining on ENA. New posters create a thread asking for advice because they don’t know how to deal with their problems and then they give advice to other posters who have similar issues. It’s so funny.

Moreover, I find the advice being given on ENA very funny as well because it’s not realistic most of the time.  Everyone replies what he/she would hypothetically do in OP’s shoes. Hypothetically is the key word here. It would work in an ideal world where people are like machines and have no emotions whatsoever to cloud their judgment but not in this world.

What I would hypothetically do is completely different from what I actually do. Nobody is an exception to this. “Do as I say, not as I do”. It’s like listening to poor financial advisors or fat dietitians. It’s not realistic advice, pretty useless and judgmental actually.

 

I also find funny how and how often people use the word moral here. Everyone on ENA (like in the real world) seems to believe he/she is impeccably moral. If this is not arrogance what is it?  Yes this is pretty entertaining.

Morality is something sooooo subjective and fluid. Who is moral? How can you define morality? Morality is not like the law. There is lawful and lawless but moral and immoral? Hmm how can you tell? By “conventional” standards? Because if this is the case, it’s pretty easy to come up with the opposite argument “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”.

Personally I don't claim I am a moral person by “conventional” standards. I am for sure though a lot more moral than the people who claim to be moral. It’s almost guaranteed when a person tells you “I am a good/moral person” that he/she is the exact opposite. It’s almost always the case. Maybe these people truly believe they are good people but it’s not the reality.  If there was a personality trait I would bet my life on it would be hypocrisy.

Pippy gave more down to earth advice. Pippy was genuine though which is an exception.  Hope she is well.

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Random thought 1

Despite the fact that Spanish exhibit the typical Mediterranean features they are vastly different than Greeks and Italians, especially Greeks. I don’t have chemistry with Spanish people whatsoever. They’ve been added to my “no connection” bucket.

 

Random thought 2

Never with roommates again. I don’t care about saving anymore, I prefer to spend all my salary if this is what it takes. I am looking to find a nice one bedroom apartment in Norwich but it is not easy. Thankfully it’s not urgent to move there so I will take my time until I find something nice.

 

Random thought 3

I don’t see this covid situation ending in 2021, I believe it will last until 2024-2025. Now there are multiple new variants which are more deadly than the “original” covid. And I heard the current jab is not very effective for those variants. I am lucky I can work from home and although I don’t like it, I still earn money and pay the bills. I understand people die from covid and it’s not a joke but if you lose your job, your savings will not last forever (given that you have some savings). No I don’t know what the best course of action is, however, I think neither do politicians. I think the government’s plan is: one-two months in lockdown, two-three months back to “normality”. I believe this is what will keep happening for the foreseeable future in the UK. Because this way you keep the infection rate under control in the long term. The infection rate goes up when things are normal, it goes down under lockdown so the mean remains steady in the long term.

 

Random thought 4

Very excited about his new job. Can’t wait to learn new technologies. I have a good feeling. I have a good feeling about the future. I have a feeling my life will exponentially improve over the next few years. Fingers crossed my intuition is right.

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15 hours ago, dias said:

Very excited about his new job. Can’t wait to learn new technologies. I have a good feeling. I have a good feeling about the future. I have a feeling my life will exponentially improve over the next few years. Fingers crossed my intuition is right.

Yay!

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Random thought 1

 

The Welsh guy who used to sit next to me in the office reached out to wish me all the best regarding the new job. He said “I admire your willingness to go wherever life takes you”. It got me thinking…wherever life takes me…it should be the opposite; wherever I drive my life to…Too much drifting around…not that it’s a bad thing (it’s not the best either), it’s way better than just existing and doing nothing though. I guess I am a nomad at heart even if I decide to stay in one place.

 

 

Random thought 2

 

Maybe I should have taken a few days off. I am starting the new job on Monday and it’s been a while I haven’t had days off. On the other hand, what I am going to do during a lockdown with a rainy weather? At least I will get paid for the remaining holidays. I am expecting to receive the new equipment by courier on Sunday or Monday morning. Hope there will be no setbacks in the process. Another courier will come and pick up the equipment of my current job. Delivery companies must be very grateful for this pandemic.

 

 

Random thought 3

 

You know these random flashbacks you have from time to time? I remembered an instance when I was around 14-15 and I was hanging out with the bad boys/girls late at night*. I hadn’t answered my parents’ phone calls the whole day and they were worried. As expected, my overprotective mother started searching around with the car. As a teenager it was so embarrassing especially when you are with the bad boys and with your bad girl crush. I remember I got so exasperated with my mother lol. Thankfully they never made fun of me because when they saw my mother, well, let’s say my mother’s appearance used to create some panic; So instead of my crush making fun of me, she asked me surprisingly if this was my mother . If only I had a dime every time I heard this question as a kid/teenager haha… She got friendlier after this (I think it was because I got more “accepted/approved” for some reason lol) but nothing ever happened because she had a 25 years old boyfriend and I was too shy at that age anyway.

 

*I was the guy who used to hang out with both the bad boys and the nerds. Played both sides lol. This is my personality though, some “bad boy” streaks some “good boy” streaks, I am somewhere in the middle.

 

 

Random thought 4

 

When I read on the forum or hear in real life women saying they won’t sleep with someone on the first dates because they would be considered easy I find it stupid and funny. I can understand if someone would not sleep on the first dates for security purposes or because they know they will get emotionally attached causing a whole lot of stress, this makes sense, these are practical reasons. But because you would be considered easy? This is pure ego. Funny thing, most women like this end up with the guys they so desperately trying to avoid. I’ve seen it so many times. The kind of guys who sleep with women on the first date but wouldn’t have a relationship with them because they are “***s” haha. I guess egotistical and hypocrites with egotistical and hypocrites lol.

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2 hours ago, dias said:

He said “I admire your willingness to go wherever life takes you”. It got me thinking…wherever life takes me…it should be the opposite; wherever I drive my life to…

I think he said that wrong. It is the opposite. You diligently searched for a job despite multiple setbacks. You are driving. You're definitely not coasting along. 

2 hours ago, dias said:

Maybe I should have taken a few days off.

I regretted not doing that at my last job. But only because that place was a total shtshow.

2 hours ago, dias said:

let’s say my mother’s appearance used to create some panic

What in the world does she look like?

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Dunno, I think I am beginning to take control of my life now. Although I have been making active effort when I wanted to change things, I didn't really have a long-term plan to stick to. In a way, yes, I went wherever life took me. I do not regret it, I had to get it out of my system. But now I do not want to continue drifting around without meaning, I want to change. 

 

You know, I figured there are two ways of approaching life. The first one is chasing the carrot and the other one is planting and growing carrots yourself. These are two completely different approaches. I’ve been following the first approach so far. I don’t think it leads to great results. Aside from the results,  I found myself on a vicious circle constantly chasing the dangling carrot which leads to dissatisfaction in the end. In a sense, chasing better jobs is like chasing a dangling carrot. Instead, growing up a business from scratch is like growing the carrots yourself. It is more time-consuming of course, needs long term thinking, discipline and sh*tload of patience.

 

I am making conscious effort to follow the second approach these days….

 

A few days off to decompress would be nice but what the heck I am going to do under lockdown and with bad weather? Lol

 

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1 hour ago, Jibralta said:

What in the world does she look like?

 

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And everyone’s face was like

 

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As you can guess nobody never bullied me again lol.

 

 

I was kidding when I wrote “panic”. Sometimes I write things as I think them without filtering and the meaning does not come across the right way if you can’t see my facial expression lol

 

No, in fact it was the opposite, she won the gene lottery so everyone was amazed by her looks. She causes panic with her military/Gestapo attitude though hahahaha

Edited by dias
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3 hours ago, dias said:

Dunno, I think I am beginning to take control of my life now. Although I have been making active effort when I wanted to change things, I didn't really have a long-term plan to stick to. In a way, yes, I went wherever life took me. I do not regret it, I had to get it out of my system. But now I do not want to continue drifting around without meaning, I want to change. 

 

You know, I figured there are two ways of approaching life. The first one is chasing the carrot and the other one is planting and growing carrots yourself. These are two completely different approaches. I’ve been following the first approach so far. I don’t think it leads to great results. Aside from the results,  I found myself on a vicious circle constantly chasing the dangling carrot which leads to dissatisfaction in the end. In a sense, chasing better jobs is like chasing a dangling carrot. Instead, growing up a business from scratch is like growing the carrots yourself. It is more time-consuming of course, needs long term thinking, discipline and sh*tload of patience.

 

I am making conscious effort to follow the second approach these days….

 

I think you're going to be fine.  I think the whole ability to even, "see," you want to do it differently, and before age 30 at that, is going to help you in the long-run.  

Both my husband and I were big on the second approach... the planting your own carrots thing.  It really does work out best in the longrun.  

And you're having to do it all alone.  Years ago, men used to have it easier when they had a loyal partner to help them create that kind of life where they could fully devote themselves to their job successes and careers.  I get it you may think you're better off not having a wife to tie you down, but at least in our marriage, we've both contributed to each other's successes overall, because we see his success as my success and vice versa (in different realms though).  We've gotten a lot further in life and our personal goals because I've helped him to succeed better at his work and he's helped me achieve my goals personally as well.  We're not in our generation's age range really... we compare more to people 10 and 15 years older, because of our success at being a team and achieving our overall life goals much earlier than our peers.

But you're on a good path!  The planting and growing route does take longer, but I do think it pays off the most in the end... in all things, not just jobs!

 

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