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SilverStar
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I was in a 3 year relationship which ended in January, 30th to be exact. I've been told by people I need to move on but it isn't that easy. He came home in January and wanted to break up, right out of the blue. He says he had been unhappy for about 6 months. It was a total shock to me and I was devistated. I immediately crawled to the alcohol for comfort. I have my moments, my up days and my down. It's so hard because we are in the process of selling our condo right now. We had joint bank acount, bought a condo together, cars in each others names, I guess it was about as married as a gay couple can be. Anyhow, last night I went over to his moms because she was watching my cats while I was away for the weekend, and had to get my keys. His car was out front and I really thought nothing of it, until I walked into the house and there he was on the floor with some guy. My ex said hello and his friend looked up at me and gave me a smirk. It pissed me off. I know I have to stop asking his mom for favors like that because I ask for trouble when I do go there. I just wish the pain would stop, I would stop thinking about yesteryear, where I went wrong, and just move on. And if its true that this goes on for 2 years, I don't think I can deal with it that long.

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  • 1 month later...

You got involved with a self absorbed person who sees others as objects of desire. I know that it isn't popular to recommend medication, but sometimes that will work if you have medical insurance. Make yourself unavailable to people like that in the future. There are beautiful people in this society who are given so much, they get used to taking and never giving. If this is possible for you try to see him with a scar on his face or missing his fingers or something. Try to make his ugliness be on the outside where you can visualize what you hate about him. Get a new interest. Move, go to a new city. See old friends. Do any thing to comfort yourself. When you find yourself missing him think about the emotion that you felt when you saw him with another person. Let that disgust stick with you for 5 or 10minutes, and then try to comfort yourself. Disguise your bitterness with happiness and sometimes you will get into a habit of feeling the new feelings. Go to some type of support meetings where you can meet new people. Put an add in the personals section of the newspaper. There are plenty of people in the world who are like you, they just dont let others see the pain. I would recommend that you separate yourself from the pain in your own mind. we all get compulsive at times, but the quicker that you move on the better.

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