Jump to content

Somewhere in between indifference, confusion, and sadness


Ksol9
 Share

Recommended Posts

I’m in bed already. I decided to read a bit before I fall asleep. I read the following lines:

 

I have found that where there is a void, negativity will fill it so we must keep fueling up with positive energy so the negative energy doesn’t have room to expand. We must fuel up daily with positive thoughts, cultivate positive feelings, and take positive actions.

 

I just wanted to share it somewhere. I struggled with this for so long until I realized the importance of it. I used to hear about people talking about negative energy and positive energy. I paid no mind. In fact, I thought it was mumbo jumbo. Until...until I started paying closer attention to those with positive attitudes. I might be late, but your thoughts really do become things. I was always a worrier, a deep thinker, a negative thinker. Not anymore. I work very hard each day to change those bad habits and I truly believe that it wasn’t until I began to change that kind of thinking, that was when things started to take a turn in my life. A positive turn.

 

Just wanted to share my thoughts. Back to my book now. Have a great night everyone.

 

I love how far you've come.

Just had to tell you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 2.1k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Bolt, this is what I now recognize as making healthy decisions for yourself. The old me would kill myself with stress because I thought it was what I "had" to do. That translated into every area of my life, so good for you for making a healthy decision. Stress takes such a toll after a prolonged period of time.

 

Reinventmyself, thank you for following along. It’s been a year and a half. Can you believe it?

 

I’m having a bit of a difficult night. Had a disagreement with my father this evening about the businesses. He reacted very harshly. He told me I was being guillable and being manipulated by the employees. That felt like he stabbed me with knives.

 

In fact, I’m shocked. I’m questionong and doubting myself. How could this be true? Could it even be true? Those words are the exact things I have been working so hard not to be. Especially coming from my father, I took it personal.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I’m still feeling really bummed about what happened last night. I don’t like to brush things under the rug and that seems to be what’s happening now. As a result, I’ve retreated. Just doing my regular duties and staying out of everyone’s way. I came home and haven’t left my room. I feel drained and just disappointed about the whole situation. I always try to do the right thing and I believe I handled the situation correctly. My father saw otherwise.

 

Other than that, we had an inspection today for my listing. Everything went well and now we are pretty much all set for closing. I’m really pleased with the whole experience. Not too bad for my first time. This is probably the first time in my life I’ve ever grabbed something by the horns and navigated on my own. It’s really a great feeling and I guess I should be proud of myself even though right now that is a little hard to do.

 

I was reminded today that I’m still a work in progress. This little family issue, although uncomfortable for me, showed me that I have learned to control my emotions. I’ve stepped away and I am evaluating how I feel. I just need time to think I guess. I’ll sort myself out and everything else will sort itself out. There’s still so much more work I have to do on this new business venture. I like that I have that to focus on in times like this.

 

The only thing I’m not sure of is how I retreat like this. Why do I question myself so much? Not sure if it’s healthy. I felt so sad that I just wanted to be alone and pretty much shut everyone else out today. I just need a few days. I actually think this weekend trip will be exactly what I need. A few days away from here will be good for me. Away from family, the business, the stress. I’m being really hard on myself today. I feel very alone and Im questioning myself quite a bit. I’m going to just get in bed and watch tv for the rest of the night.

 

Have a good night.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I’m so glad you’re healing and moving forward.

 

Are you ready for the next part of your healing?

 

I think it’s safe to say at this point your attachment to your ex was an unhealthy one you latched onto him like white on rice and I personally noticed when that break happened you kinda fell onto other ‘caretakers’ your parents and you kinda went on and on about the businesses, which I always kinda noticed, it stuck out to me and I was never sure why, now I wonder if you wouldn’t benefit from some therapy that focuses on your childhood and maybe how you cope with being yourself, truly independent and not attached to someone else, you went from boyfriend and me to, family business and me, I haven’t really seen ksol, just ksol, I hope I’m making sense, I could be off, it’s just something I’ve noticed and your interaction with your dad and how much it affected you, I don’t know, maybe there is something there.Your ex wasn’t the cause of your unhealthy attachment to him, he was simply a symptom.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you figureitout23. I am totally ready!

 

You made alot of sense. There was a lot of discussion about this very thing when I was in therapy. Codependancy was also a topic and ever since I had therapy, I have been searching for answers. I've been searching to make sense of all the things I have experienced up until this point. I read your post late last night and something went off in my mind like a light bulb. I realized how affected I was by my father last week and I realized that I shouldn't invest myself in such an unhealthy way. I mean with the businesses. I recognized my unhealthy reaction and I told myself that it wasn't worth the stress it was causing. Without getting into too much details, I'll spare you the background story, I decided it would be more beneficial for me to back up and allow things to sort out on their own. I let go and just enjoyed myself the entire weekend. If only I would have handled things like that in my past.

 

There is a link and you're not off about anything you are trying to say. I think you're very spot on on because I do believe I fall into this 'caretaker' role. With everyone in my life, I somehow almost naturally take on this role. It is at this point in my life that I am realizing that taking on that role must come with healthy boundaries. I caught myself and I backed away because I know what the end result would be. I will only lose. It's really funny because I didn't realize I was doing that with the businesses. I didn't realize I was investing myself so much.

 

I have had very unhealthy relationships for some reason. I'm just a woman who is trying to change, trying to break those patterns. I know it has something to do with my childhood. In fact, through therapy, my counselor was able to point me in the right direction. I've discovered just enough to understand what changes I needed to make, but still I haven't figured it all out. It's like pieces to a puzzle and maybe I would benefit from more therapy. Although I think I'm making better choices and I think I'm catching myself much sooner which is such a wonderful thing.

 

This weekend was great. I haven't seen my friends since April. For the most part of this year, I buried myself in work and in getting started in real estate. This weekend served as a simple reminder that I needed to make time for myself and things I like to do. I wanted this clean slate. I wanted a fresh start. I should be careful not to fall into unhealthy patterns ever again. This goes for relationships, work, family....anyone. No one will ever steal my peace....ever again.

 

There was a saying that rang in my mind whenever I think about the issues I am having with my family. "You can't control what happens only how you react to it."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My sleeping pattern has been a little off these days. I’m not sure if it’s due to the time change. I’ve been falling asleep really early and then I get up really early. It results in me being very tired very early in the day. It’s keep ringing in my head that I need to get back imto my workout routine. I sort of put it on the back burner for the past few weeks. So tonight, im going to do some Pilates. I walk about a mile daily with my dog, but I really enjoy Pilates and I haven’t done it in a while.

 

I also signed up for a real estate seminar later this month. It will teach about contracts. I’ve been wanting to take this course since I got into real estate. I guess my goal is to just refocus myself. The past couple months have been sort of up and down with some really exciting events and some really low points. Really glad that I’ve got some things to work toward. Closing on my listing will take place in about a week or so. That’s pretty exciting. I’ll have some more room to figure out what to do next. Ive been researching companies that I want to work with for marketing. Ive also been thinking about investing in real estate. I’m trying not to overwhelm myself. Just trying to go with the flow, knowing things will fall into place. My sister and her family will also be here to visit around thanksgiving.

 

After typing, I realize I have a lot to look forward to. I don’t know how to explain what this feels like. Almost like a take off for a plane ride. A take off that is taking a really, really long time. I’m in no rush, but just a little anxious on where I’ll end up. I’m terrified of getting stuck. Remember, I was stuck for quite a while and I feel like I’m one to get stu....what am I saying?? I’m no longer that person. I’ve come a long way in this year and a half since I ended the relationship.

 

This time of year exudes happiness and joy. Christmas is right around the corner. Friends, family, real estate career, family business. Work has really given me purpose at this time in my life. I know this isn’t what a fulfilled life is all about, but I’ve never worked hard or built something of my own in this way. I’m getting there. Things are unfolding and I’m just happy I’ve found some direction. I have to have strong faith in myself to keep going, to continue to work hard for the things I want in life.

 

Time for Pilates. Be well everyone!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ahhh how I love the weekends. I’ve spent the entire weekend just relaxing. What a great feeling.

 

I’m laying in bed trying to convince myself to get up. My parents decided we would all take a few days off and visit my sister. It’s pretty rare that we do something like this all together. Normally myself or dad would stay behind and look over the businesses. We are loading up the dogs and getting on the road to visit my sister. It should be a nice little getaway.

 

Today is Vereran’s Day. I read a lot. I read a lot of self help book. I watch inspirational videos. It’s really a big part of how I pulled myself out of the hole I was in and still to this day, I consistently read and watch videos. There’s a common theme in much of what I read. Gratefulness. Today I’m grateful for the men and women who have served and fought for our country and for our freedom.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just settled in at my sister’s house. I can’t stand a long drive, but it’s worth it. My sister and brother in law hosted a turkey derby at their home this year. Their guests had already left by the time we arrived, but the games were still there. Their back yard looked like a scene from big brother or something. My parents and I played some of the games and then sat outside and watched my nephew play in the yard.

 

My sister brought out a yellow card. It was a homemade card my nephew made. It had his hand print on the front and it was addressed to Grandma, Grandpa & Auntie Ksol. On the inside it read, “I’m going to be a big brother!” My brother in law recorded our reaction. My father was in shock, my mother had the biggest smile, and I was laughing at their reaction. It was so funny! It’s all happening so fast. We’re very happy for her. I’m going to be an aunt again!

 

Life is so beautiful. It’s so awesome to watch my sister build this life. At the same time I think about my life and how I can’t wait to be a mom one day. Our family is growing. My parents are getting older. I just hope we are making them proud. I’ve made so many mistakes in my past and it wasn’t until a little over a year ago that things began to change. I have been making great progress. My sister started working in a new practice. My nephew is going to be 2 in a few months. My brother in law started teaching at a new school. Just feeling so grateful tonight. I pray things will only get better.

 

I’m so excited for my sister! It’s still very early on. She hasn’t been to a doctor to confirm, but I know they’ve been trying. I’ll keep my fingers crossed because I know this is something they both want. What a way to end the weekend. Pretty sweet!

 

Have a great night everyone!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Thanksgiving is just a couple days away. I love this time of year!

 

We don’t have much planned this year. Normally we have a huge dinner at the house with all my family invited. This year my sister is in Houston with her in laws, so we are just going to have a quiet evening. I closed my first real estate deal on Monday. What a great feeling! The home went under contract in a little over 30 days. Both the buyer and seller are happy. I couldn’t ask for a better first experience. I still can’t believe I am where I am at this point. Feels like I made it to this really nice, big room and I’m so excited, but I just don’t know what to do. I’m chuckling as I’m writing this. Ill enjoy this feeling a bit longer before it’s time to dive back in for more work.

 

I ask myself often if I’m happy. I still don’t know how to answer that. I’m content I guess, but happy? I’m not sure. There’s so much I want to accomplish and I also thought I’d be married with 2 children by now, but I’m ok I guess. I’m really excited about my career and where it’s headed. We’re also working on some new projects with our family business. All of that is keeping me busy enough. I’ve made this my focus in life and it beats the anxiety and fear of an unhealthy relationship by far. I guess I’m halpy where I am right now, st this moment. I still don’t know where I’m headed, but I’m headed somewhere. Hope it’s somewhere great!

 

Hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving! Grateful for all of you here who got me through some very dark times and for those who support and encourage me. Thanks for still reading along.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I get the "am i happy"? comment. Contented? yes. I don't feel the JOY in my life, that I do when I'm with a significant other. But the downside is...i feel JOYFUL and happy when it's good, but then fall to the depths of dispair when it's not. The proverbial roller coaster.

 

In my 20's I dated a guy who said he was just 'even'. No highs. No lows. I couldn't fathom that. He was also soooooo boring! lol

 

But yeah. I'm getting older. Time is marching by. You're still young and have your whole life of exciting possibilities. I'm thinking of retiring.

 

I miss JOY. I miss Hugs and kisses. I miss knowing I have someone to do things with. I miss my best friend.

 

But he was an AZZHOLE most of the time. And he admits it. Commitment phobe. Emotional abuser.

 

So....better off.

 

Hope you have a great Thanksgiving. Even tho it will be a quiet one. I'm gonna be alone. Sis is having dinner the next day.

 

I'll pretend it's just another day.

Congrats on the sale of your first home! You're going places!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Realitynut, thanks for writing! I found your post really interesting. I don’t know if I should be searching for what would make me joyful. I think I’ve just been focusing on being ok with right now and accepting things for what they are. Im not even sure I miss being in a relationship. Just that feeling, I’m not sure I miss it at all. I value solitude. It’s been so good to me.

 

The irony of your post. You used terms like abuser. I just need to get this out. I received some text messages from him today. I started to think about the patterns. The last I heard from him was around 4th of July. It’s strange he pops up around holidays. His messages sounded really strange and creepy. I didn’t recognize the number. He’s using some sort of app or someone else’s phone because his number is blocked. He said it was him and that he had to ask me something. I didn’t respond once. The messages kept coming in.

-would like to get together. Just want to spend time with a familiar face.

-I miss you

-I’m sorry if I’m pressuring you. Have a nice Thanksgiving with your family.

-I can’t wait to see you.

-you know how to love me.

-I’m sorry I was stubborn.

-I know you’ve been wanting me to show my face. I’ll do it.

-why are you doing this?

-I’m being serious.

 

I blocked the number at this point. He sounds like he’s going through some sort of crisis. I can bet my last dollar he’s giving some poor girl somewhere the silent treatment. I can’t shake this feeling. It’s like a weird feeling that this isn’t normal behavior. It’s the same cycle over and over. It’s like he has some sort of sixth sense. He senses I am moving forward. He senses I’ve built myself back up to a place where he can use me again if only I’d let him. I get a really bad feeling about him and I just hope, I really hope he doesn’t show up at my house again. I don’t know what to think about all of this. A normal person who hasn’t spoken to you in months especially when you weren’t on good terms doesn’t try to force you to see them just to hangout with a “familiar face”.

 

I hate the way I’m feeling and I can’t explain it. I need to change my number.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So no "I'm sorry for lying and deceiving you and treating you like someone who doesn't deserve honesty and respect".

 

Of course not.

 

Yes, change your number. Your business is starting up so now would be a great time to get a new number for your clients. I did it when I didn't want to hear from my ex. It took about 20 minutes to text my new number to the people I wanted to have it.

 

And let your parents know. The "I'll do it" is vaguely threatening.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Bolt, this threw me for a loop. I don’t know how many months it’s been since I last heard from him. It’s been months. I mean I knew there was a possibility based on the pattern, but the messages were just weird and out of the blue. I woke up this morning to a Happy Thanksgiving text from another unsaved number. I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s him.

 

I recently put in an order with a marketing company for direct mailers. Thousands of marketing postcards will be mailed out. I approved the design proof yesterday. I’m so excited about it. I know the company is closed today. I’ve sent an email stating I need to change the number on the postcards. I hope they haven’t gone to printing yet. I want to change my number.

 

I know there have been words thrown around like abusive. I’m no one to diagnose him, but this whole thing feels strange. Like a really strange vibe. His messages seem robotic and rehearsed. Why on holidays? I remember when I was in the relationship, I used to feel like he was emotionally unavailable and it used to hurt me so much. Now I feel like he doesn’t have feelings. He doesn’t behave like he has genuine feelings. Looking back, he operates in patterns. This is a cycle. This is not normal. The last I heard, he was getting involved with another woman who is a local business owner. I don’t know what became of it, but I bet it went south. I bet he’s doing to her what he did to me and the others. The only difference is he didn’t need to use them for as long as he used me. He used me for years because of the children. I was with him for years, taking care of those children like they were mine. I literally allowed him to fool me for so long. It’s like these little relationships, last a few months and then he cycles back around. I don’t know why I’m questioning this. This is sick and it’s crazy making.

 

You’re right, business is starting up. Now would be the right time. I don’t need this in my life. Not right now. I don’t need to be feeling this way or thinking these thoughts. This isn’t healthy. I really think your first sentence says it all. That is what a genuine person would say. I feel disgusted and I have some anxiety. I’m worrying that he’ll show up at my house. This is not a good feeling. I need to get out of bed, take a shower, and shake this feeling. It’s Thanksgiving.

 

Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family! Can’t wait to have some turkey!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Tell your parents. They surely are not at work today. Ask your father to run interference. Don't worry about embarrassment or shame or anything trivial like not wanting to bother them. Ask them to keep him away from you.

 

Don't leave home alone either. He will accost you if you're alone.

 

If he becomes threatening, call the authorities.

 

Sorry he is attempting to ruin your holiday.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh boy bolt, this guy has a lot of nerve. I felt like I was about to go into a frenzy this morning. I replied telling him I didn’t know what he meant by the text, but that he wasn’t going to cross those boundaries and he wasn’t going to do this to me. I know my text meant nothing to him because he clearly doesn’t respect me. He was about to replay the same exact thing he did when he showed up at my house in July. He responded saying he was just kidding. He wasn’t kidding! He’s playing around like I’m sort of puppet.

 

I am concerned about my parents. I didn’t want to bother them with this. I feel embarrassed and almost like I did something wrong. I told them anyway. I took a shower and went to the office. Dad met me there shortly after. I feel better they are aware.

 

Im back at home now helping my mother with cooking. I don’t need this drama right now or at all. I can’t help, but feel guilty that I haven’t put this to a complete stop yet. I feel like I’ve allowed this to carry on too long.

 

Thanks for your swift reply. It’s teally plain and simple. What you suggested, is exactly what I need to do.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. It was a quiet, relaxing day other than the scare I had in the morning. Today I am better.

 

I have changed my phone number. The marketing company contacted me first thing this morning and I was able to put the order on hold while I changed my number with the carrier. After I made the changes on the design, it went to production. I’m really excited about it. Now I have to get new business cards. I’ve updated everywhere I needed to update and I realize it will be refreshed on the internet soon if it hasn’t already. I know he will be able to get my number again if he really wanted to find it. In the event he does and attempts to contact me, it will constitute as harassment. I should have told him clearly by text that I never wanted to hear from him again and that way it’d be documented. I don’t think he’ll go to those lengths, but I really shouldn’t put it past him. I still really believe he’s going through a temporary crisis. Something must have happened with the woman he was seeing and he is scrambling to find someone else to occupy his time. Kind of like what he used to do to me. I excused his stupidity so many times when in actuality he’d be giving me silent treatment while he pursued other options. It’s really sickening. I know what life is like with him and I feel that nothing has changed. The things he was texting me was just creepy. I hope this number change eases my anxieties about the whole situation.

 

My sister and nephew flew in from Houston this evening. We will spend the day together tomorrow. I just want to enjoy every moment with my nephew. He’s the sweetest. I want to forget about everything that happened. I haven’t really had the chance to sit and think about it or how it made me feel. I’m just trying to move past it.

 

Have a great night everyone. I am reading a book called You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay. It’s a great read for anyone interested. It’s been around for a long while. Don’t know how I just came across it, but I find it helpful.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just when I thought it wouldn’t get worse. I had a horrible day yesterday. I don’t even know where to start.

 

It’s almost as if this is never going to end. Hasn’t he hurt me enough? Him and I haven’t stood face to face in about a year and a half until...yesterday. He came to my workplace. His son came running up to me. I was in utter shock. He gave me a long hug. Then he walked in. I stood there in shock, but then tried to play it off. I was standing in front of employees and customers. It was completely awkward. He says he needed to speak with me. I pull them aside. I asked what is going on...what is all this about?? Wrong move. What follows is my fault. I opened the door.

 

He told me someone stole his truck the night before. The truck had his credit cards inside. He said he did some investigating of his own and went to a nearby gas station where the card was used. He said he had surveillance and wanted to know if I could recognize the people in the video because they seem to live close by. He wanted to know if I recognized them and if I knew where they lived. I was hesitant. He shoved his phone in my face. I said no. I don’t know them and honestly I didn’t. I told him that I couldn’t help him. Then he went on to explain how he was seeing someone new. Someone who is a nearby business owner. I let him talk. I already knew who he was talking about. Told me a story about how she is crazy and how toxic the relationship was. How he thinks she may have something to do with the stolen vehicle. I stopped him. I became upset. I said to him that i don’t want to be involved in any of this. This has nothing to do with me. I can’t help you. I said I’d walk them out. His son gave me another hug and I politely said I had a lot of work and that I had to go. All day I felt as if my head was upside down. Then....

 

All I kept thinking about was that he was using this as an opportunity to wheel me in somehow. He knew I changed my number and that is why he came to my workplace. He was having trouble in his relationship. I knew he was going through some sort of crisis. It sounded toxic and unhealthy just like ours was. I felt drained. I lay in bed reading and I get a call. You guessed it. It was him. His first words were, “I googled your number. Don’t hang up.” He went on to say he got the people who stole his truck and that he was with police right now. I hung up.

 

I somehow fell asleep. At this point I’m still drained. I have a ton of work to do all day today. I was swamped with paperwork. What happened next took me even more by surprise. I was helping one of our employees with something when I felt someone looking at me. It was the girl he is involved with. I didn’t recognize her right away. I pretended like I didn’t know who she was. She kept looking at me. She went up to another employee asking questions about products and services. I happened to look over and she was looking at me again. Strangest thing I’ve ever experienced. I take that back, I’ve experienced worse, but this is just weird. She leaves without saying anything to me. Shock again.

 

As upsetting as all of this is, i feel confused and angry. This man hurt me so much. He’s hurt me enough. I told myself that I’m not going to allow this to affect me. I don’t know what this woman came in there for, but I believe he has told her things. Enough things to feel threatened by me. Enough things to spark curiousity. Furthermore, I just went through a number change. One I had to pay for. Change of business cards I had to pay for. I had to spend time emailing and sending out text messages to family and anyone related to work. This is just horrible.

 

I’ve got a real estate seminar all day tomorrow. I’m glad I don’t have to be at work tomorrow. Hopefully it will keep my mind off of these things. I feel anxiety even going into my own businesses. Imagine just in a matter of a few days he has managed to bring a lot of toxicity and negativity into my life....and I let him! I don’t know what to do about this. He hasn’t called again. I notified my parents and sister. They all said I should put him in his place. They don’t know him like I do. He has no feelings, no respect, not a single care in the world. He had the nerve to say she’s manipulative and that she’s crazy! He’s the crazy one! Whatever I say will go in one ear and out the other. I had just told him in his face at my workplace that I didn’t want to be involved with anything going on in his life. He had to have said something to her. What is he trying to do? I don’t interfere with anyone. I’ve never once interfered in any of his business. I’ve never once even called his phone in all this time.

 

I don’t know what to do. Do I just leave it as it is? Do I notify police? Do I tell him to eff off? I really don’t know what to do at this point and in the midst of it all, I feel numb right now. I just want to close my eyes and make it all go away. How will ever move forward in my life if this is hanging over me? Why is he doing this to me? I’m tired, but I need to sort through my thoughts.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I just got another message as I was see-reading my post right now!. It says, I’ll see you soon. Oh dear! What should I do? This is horrible!! He can’t just show up at my house!

 

None of this is something to ponder over, its dangerous and shouldn't be tolerated KSOL. I agree with bolt, if you cant do it have your family tell him the authorities will be involved if he doesnt stop. He isnt stopping because its still working! He got you to respond didnt he?

 

The stressed and exasperated, 'oh dear! my ex keeps finding ways to get to me' posts are starting to be confusing. This is dangerous! There are far too many women who get seriously hurt by men like this guy, yes its emotional manipulation but you are making a conscious choice to continue to allow him access to you. I dont know why youre doing it but its time to figure it out, in the meantime since you arent strong enough to cut him off maybe have some buffers? dont know, its just a suggestion, maybe your family friends coworkers, if he comes around have them stand in the way and demand he leaves before they call the police. I know it seems extreme, but ksol you arent strong enough right now and this has the potential to be SO dangerous! Back and forth relationships are hard to end as you can see, for the person who takes being in control serious enough it literally becomes a if I cant have you no one can game. Stop before it gets that bad.

 

Please stay safe.

 

EDITED because I see you changed your number, good for you!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

None of this is something to ponder over, its dangerous and shouldn't be tolerated KSOL. Change your number! I agree with bolt, if you cant do it have your family tell him the authorities will be involved if he doesnt stop. He isnt stopping because its still working! He got you to respond didnt he?

 

The stressed and exasperated, 'oh dear! my ex keeps finding ways to get to me' posts are starting to be confusing. This is dangerous! There are far too many women who get seriously hurt by men like this guy, yes its emotional manipulation but you are making a conscious choice to continue to allow him access to you. I dont know why youre doing it but its time to make the final cut.

 

Please stay safe.

 

She did change her number. Her most recent post details what happened next.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi figureitout and bolt. I understand what you both are saying. Im actually feeling guilty that this is my fault, that I’m creating all this problem for myself. I don’t know what’s wrong. I don’t know why I have this problem. It’s not just this, I have this problem in all areas of my life. Standing up for myself has always been a problem. And even more so with him. All I know is that I’m not going to allow anything to create losses for me in business, my family life, or my personal life. I understand how dangerous this can become. And maybe there are things I am not seeing, but I do recognize the issue is with me. I shouldn’t have allowed him to say two words to me to begin with. Changing my number was a total waste. The business I am in requires a public number. No one can stay in your life if you don’t want them there. If I really wanted him out of my life, I can make it happen. He’s not going to disrupt my life anymore. I’m tired of considering his feelings or his kids feelings or anyone else’s feelings. No one considered my feelings. I know what I have to do.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi figureitout and bolt. I understand what you both are saying. Im actually feeling guilty that this is my fault, that I’m creating all this problem for myself. I don’t know what’s wrong. I don’t know why I have this problem. It’s not just this, I have this problem in all areas of my life. Standing up for myself has always been a problem. And even more so with him. All I know is that I’m not going to allow anything to create losses for me in business, my family life, or my personal life. I understand how dangerous this can become. And maybe there are things I am not seeing, but I do recognize the issue is with me. I shouldn’t have allowed him to say two words to me to begin with. Changing my number was a total waste. The business I am in requires a public number. No one can stay in your life if you don’t want them there. If I really wanted him out of my life, I can make it happen. He’s not going to disrupt my life anymore. I’m tired of considering his feelings or his kids feelings or anyone else’s feelings. No one considered my feelings. I know what I have to do.

 

I hope this means youre gonna like involve the authorities and not that you plan to go vigilante on his kneecaps! athough...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

“Vigilante on his kneecaps” can’t say it hasn’t crossed my mind. Lol. Thanks for a good laugh.

 

I did speak to him a final time and explained very clearly that I’d be involving the police if he came to my workplace or home. I don’t care if he contacts me again. I’m not afraid to contact the police and honestly, I’m not afraid of him. I’m not letting him back into my life. I feel like this last episode with him was a test. A test to myself and how far I’ve come. I’m strong enough. He hasn’t changed his scheming ways and I recognized it within 30 seconds of hearing him talk. He has nothing I want.He can try his sick little games with whoever he wants, but he isn’t going to fool me ever again.

 

Quick update, we got in from visiting my sister and nephew. It was a nice little getaway. I still have a little bit of Christmas shopping to do, but other than that I’m enjoying the holiday season. We don’t have any big family events planned for Christmas this year. Going to be spending it at home with just my parents. Things are going well. I’ve been very busy for the most part of the month, but I expect to wind down for the remainder of the month. I’m ready to bring in the new year. I’m going to write some new goals and work hard to achieve them.

Edited by Ksol9
Link to comment
Share on other sites

 Share


×
×
  • Create New...