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Crush rejected me and now he ignored me


kikovioletmizu
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Instead of internalizing rejection, why not work on grasping that with millions of people in the world, most people are simply NOT our match.

 

That's actually very liberating. It allows you to relax into your own Self without apology instead of doing pretzels to try to appeal to the masses. You're not running a marketing campaign looking for masses, you're seeking ONE right match who 'gets you'. So be yourself and hold out for that, and view any rejection as someone who doesn't own the right lens to appreciate your unique value--and trust that the RIGHT person will.

 

If I could have understood this concept earlier in life, I would have spared myself a lot of pain and lots of effort to appeal to people who I'd later learn that I had no business even dealing with.

 

Rejection is not a 'problem,' it spares you from involvement with the wrong people. Allow wrong matches to pass early, and with each one you're a step closer to meeting the right match for you.

 

Head high.

 

Love you Cattfeeder! You are so wise in dealing with this! What you said is indeed a fresh piece to digest it into my mind. I shall save your advice as one of my life quotes. Thank you again, God bless you!

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I think you need to accept that when you reveal to a "friend" that you have feelings for them it changes the balance and the dynamics of that "friendship" entirely. You aren't on an equal footing anymore. They feel they have to be careful around you because they don't want to hurt you or lead you on. Most of us realise that "friendships" don't really work when one has feelings for the other. It isn't personal, it just isn't the equal friendship that they thought it was.

 

Right, I think I shall be very careful in future and not simply confess my feelings too early at initial stage before I am 100% sure on anything (like how he feels about me and whether we are on the same page or not). Thank you again. Sorry if I appear to be a little slow-witted in this; I am just 18 and still quite new in matters of love. More advice on relationships and dating are always welcomed! Have a nice day =P

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Right, I think I shall be very careful in future and not simply confess my feelings too early at initial stage before I am 100% sure on anything (like how he feels about me and whether we are on the same page or not). Thank you again. Sorry if I appear to be a little slow-witted in this; I am just 18 and still quite new in matters of love. More advice on relationships and dating are always welcomed! Have a nice day =P

 

You really do not need to apologise at all and you are not slow witted. You are young and have a lot to learn. We've all been there.

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  • 4 years later...

I had similar experience. I confessed to my crush, but he rejected and also ignored me because he said he couldn't talk to other woman behind his girlfriend. So I left him alone. But a couple years later I contacted him again, we started chatting. We become buddy but we keep it a secret from other. He loves to talk naughty stuffs and we both enjoyed it. He told me we could only be friend.

 

Sadly, Tomorrow he's getting married. I'm not sure if i should continue being his "secret buddy" and our naughty conversation. I'm a married woman.

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I had similar experience. I confessed to my crush, but he rejected and also ignored me because he said he couldn't talk to other woman behind his girlfriend. So I left him alone. But a couple years later I contacted him again, we started chatting. We become buddy but we keep it a secret from other. He loves to talk naughty stuffs and we both enjoyed it. He told me we could only be friend.

 

Sadly, Tomorrow he's getting married. I'm not sure if i should continue being his "secret buddy" and our naughty conversation. I'm a married woman.

 

This thread you revived is 4 years old.

 

That being said, how about being "naughty" with your husband? Do you care at all about him or about your "secret cheater's" new wife?

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I had similar experience. I confessed to my crush, but he rejected and also ignored me because he said he couldn't talk to other woman behind his girlfriend. So I left him alone. But a couple years later I contacted him again, we started chatting. We become buddy but we keep it a secret from other. He loves to talk naughty stuffs and we both enjoyed it. He told me we could only be friend.

 

Sadly, Tomorrow he's getting married. I'm not sure if i should continue being his "secret buddy" and our naughty conversation. I'm a married woman.

 

 

You are playing with fire and that fire is likely to burn four people in it's rage. As much fun as it might be, it is not worth the pain that would be caused if this came out. You have a husband to be "naughty" with. He now has a wife. You should each focus on your partner and making that relationship work. How would you feel if he was the one having a "secret buddy?"

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