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My sister's rape is killing me inside.


Zanetka

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My little sister who is 21 years old was raped while living in residence at a university at the other side of the country in the summer of 2015.

 

This rape was committed by a young man who was also studying at the university and he came into her dorm room after a night of all the students partying and celebrating and raped her. She was drunk and in her own bed. She was a virgin and woke up with immense pain but was so ashamed that she has never reported it.

 

As her older (23) sister and protector I've tried everything to try and help her.. she has been experiencing panic attacks and anxiety and her school work is suffering.

 

Although I try and seem strong for her.. this rape has been killing me too. I replay her suffering in my head all the time.. I cry alot knowing what she has to deal with. I feel so sad that this criminal will never be put to justice and that he has caused her so much pain and impairment in her young life.

 

I wish I could take away all this pain from her life.. she doesn't deserve it, no one does.

 

I know I can't push her to get help, only encourage her.. and give her resources. But what can I do to help myself so that I can better help her? It's always on my mind (as I know it's on hers even more) and I feel so much anger inside me. I have very little tolerance for anyone objectifying women.. posting nudity or talking about women in a wrong way because I know that young boys grow up in a culture where some of them feel entitled to women's bodies.

 

My dad who has no idea about what my sister went through, posted a picture of a naked woman on facebook and it made me so angry.. I tried to tell him it was wrong but he doesnt understand. He thinks its funny or a joke. He doesnt realize that things like this contribute to all these issues. And my sister can see what he posts. He is very stubborn and he deleted me off facebook for the first time ever because I told him to delete the picture and that he was embarrassing me.

 

I don't know what to do.. this is a personal but societal issue and I feel so helpless

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You could try talking to a rape councellor to express your own feelings and get helpful ideas on how to help your sister . There are rape crisis hotlines and counsellors on university campuses.

 

I am so sorry this happened to your sister. It is very hard for all involved .

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