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Boyfriend's Private Browsing App


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I just need an opinion.

 

Should I be concerned if my boyfriend has been downloading a private browsing app?

Not for saving space on the phone or anything like that.

 

Wouldn't it make sense just to use incognito tabs?

 

I know some guys like to keep porn private from their girlfriends.

And I do have a problem snooping through his phone once in a while (like I'm talking.. every couple months) for non-porn related things.

 

But he knows I wouldn't care if he was watching porn. But he tells me he never watches porn even though I told him many times it wouldn't bother me.

 

It's not just that he downloaded the app, it's that he installs it and uninstalls it every time.

I won't even explain how I realized that because it just makes me sound even crazier than I already seem.

 

We've had a problem with craigslist before so I'm more concerned about that and other things he knows I'm not okay with.

 

If he downloaded the app and kept it on there and explained to me (if I confronted him) that it's there because he feels uncomfrtable with his porn habits in his browser history then I'd understand.

 

Idk I feel like I'm being ridiculous.

But when you have little trust and issues because of secrets (involving craigslist) it's hard not to jump to conclusions. I know he can't be meeting up with people because we spend most of our time together.

 

We are about to move into an apt in a couple weeks and we've been together for (on/off) 7 years.

Idk HOW to confront him. He never gets that mad if I ever confront him about anything I found cause he knows that he is in the wrong. And we haven't had an issue like this in about a year.

 

Idk if I should let it go or give it time or what.

 

I know there's a way I can find out if/around when he installs it again.

 

But I feel like he's going a little far using an app (it's called Mirmay) just to browse privately.

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After 7 years you still don't trust him? I'm sorry, if you don't trust him now it's not going to happen.

 

If he usually takes it well when you do confront him then I say go for it. Get your answer. However if he's doing something he knows you won't like and hiding it from you then I wouldn't move in with him. It's only going to get worse from here.

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Even though you haven't given any details, it sounds like he broke your trust with the Craigslist incident. With that said, I think there's the possibility you haven't got past that, and rightly so.

 

It's your call, but I wouldn't move in with someone I couldn't fully trust.

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Even though you haven't given any details, it sounds like he broke your trust with the Craigslist incident. With that said, I think there's the possibility you haven't got past that, and rightly so.

 

It's your call, but I wouldn't move in with someone I couldn't fully trust.

 

Definitely. He broke my trust with multiple craigslist incidents.

 

He still denies ever meeting up with them.

 

And what if it isn't that he's searching Craigslist? What in the world does he have to hide from me so bad that he has to use an app to do it? Porn cannot be that embarrassing when he's told me many times that he used to watch it.

 

We already live together but in his moms house. But I have a lot to consider if I want us to start moving into our own place. I don't wanna deal with this for the rest of my life.

 

Thank you for your reply!

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After 7 years you still don't trust him? I'm sorry, if you don't trust him now it's not going to happen.

 

If he usually takes it well when you do confront him then I say go for it. Get your answer. However if he's doing something he knows you won't like and hiding it from you then I wouldn't move in with him. It's only going to get worse from here.

 

It probably won't ever happen and he and I both know it but I think we've been pushing it to the back of our heads because of how close we are and how long we've been together.

 

I'm prepared to confront him tonight. I just know how ridiculous I'll sound when I do confront him and explain how I came about it. I know he doesn't get mad but I do get a lot of excuses from him.

 

I'm scared of how I might just end up shoving this one under the rug too. I dont' want to. Something always just pushes me to do that.

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I think that if you don't trust him you shouldn't be moving in with him.

 

Your nosey-ness is over the top.

 

My paranoia and trust issues are over the top, yes.

 

Because of our history.

 

Which I know is a red flag already, I'm always just hoping things will change. Especially when we had such a good year.

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he's shady and you know it,,, alarm bells are probably ringing and for good reasons too

 

craiglists ...guys do not do things like that just to talk...

 

I doubt the app is for porn...

 

and 7 years is a long time to spend on a person who is shady

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I think you are stuck in a rut. You are not happy. You don't trust him, being with him makes you anxious and snooping has become an obsession to the point that you are hoping you will find proof because deep down you know there is more to all this than what he has admitted.

 

If you do find what you are looking for, what then? Is it proof that your not crazy? You don't need it. You are NOT crazy. He is shady and you need to stop this vicious, dysfunctional circle and LEAVE!

 

I know its hard after so long together but do you want to live like this for the rest of your life? And it is only going to get worse. He will soon have a secret phone hidden somewhere when he realizes you are getting better and better at catching him so he will just get better at hiding whatever he is hiding from you.

 

And I think you already have all the proof you need. Catching him on craiglists. He wouldn't be on that site without "intent". Maybe you just found out before he had a chance to act on it or maybe hes just a very good liar and has already acted on it.

 

You wouldn't know at this stage whether he is lying or telling the truth because all this makes your head spin and he is gaslighting you, manipulating you, making you believe you are the problem when the issue here is him, always has been.

 

The only issue for you is that you are still there.. Why are you torturing yourself? I couldn't cope in a relationship like this.

 

And he is not doing that to hide porn. You already told him you don't care if he watches it. Unless he is watching something terrible or illegal I see no reason to go to such extreme attempts to hide it from you.

 

Whatever he is hiding, it is something that would upset you..

 

And you said "he couldn't be cheating coz we spend so much time together" so when exactly does he have the time for all this online shady crap?

 

I am sure hes not with you 24/7. Surely you both have friends, hobbies, jobs or studies?? If not then you both need to get a life outsife of each other. That will make it easier for you to leave and it may stop his obsession with online sex if he had other crap to do

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I think you are stuck in a rut. You are not happy. You don't trust him, being with him makes you anxious and snooping has become an obsession to the point that you are hoping you will find proof because deep down you know there is more to all this than what he has admitted.

 

If you do find what you are looking for, what then? Is it proof that your not crazy? You don't need it. You are NOT crazy. He is shady and you need to stop this vicious, dysfunctional circle and LEAVE!

 

I know its hard after so long together but do you want to live like this for the rest of your life? And it is only going to get worse. He will soon have a secret phone hidden somewhere when he realizes you are getting better and better at catching him so he will just get better at hiding whatever he is hiding from you.

 

And I think you already have all the proof you need. Catching him on craiglists. He wouldn't be on that site without "intent". Maybe you just found out before he had a chance to act on it or maybe hes just a very good liar and has already acted on it.

 

You wouldn't know at this stage whether he is lying or telling the truth because all this makes your head spin and he is gaslighting you, manipulating you, making you believe you are the problem when the issue here is him, always has been.

 

The only issue for you is that you are still there.. Why are you torturing yourself? I couldn't cope in a relationship like this.

 

And he is not doing that to hide porn. You already told him you don't care if he watches it. Unless he is watching something terrible or illegal I see no reason to go to such extreme attempts to hide it from you.

 

Whatever he is hiding, it is something that would upset you..

 

And you said "he couldn't be cheating coz we spend so much time together" so when exactly does he have the time for all this online shady crap?

 

I am sure hes not with you 24/7. Surely you both have friends, hobbies, jobs or studies?? If not then you both need to get a life outsife of each other. That will make it easier for you to leave and it may stop his obsession with online sex if he had other crap to do

 

 

 

Last time I caught him on craigslist was a year ago.

 

And before that was just stuff from when we weren't dating.. which didn't bother me except that it's gross and I refuse to believe he never went through with those.

Kicking myself now because that should have been the final thing to make me go.

 

Idk how I've continued to let myself be manipulated. I really do torture myself. It goes so much deeper than just Craigslist, too.

It's all just a mess and every day I act like we're okay and I think about my future if I left.

 

He has time because on his days off he's home without me. He doesn't have much of a life outside of me. He's either with his mom, with me, or at work.

But I'm 99% sure that he never goes anywhere to cheat, he's way too lazy.

 

All of this makes me feel like an insecure teenager in a relationship.

I'm 24, we have been through this many times, you'd think I would know better by now.

 

He has to be hiding something. It's the only thing that makes sense.

 

Thank you for your reply. It's so much better to hear what people outside of my life has to say that don't know him personally.

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Why do you people do this? What in your brain tells you "you know what? A future of going through my partners **** sounds good to me!"

 

You're not being manipulated. You know exactly what the situation is. You're making a conscious decision. Make a better one.

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You know you can't trust him. The evidence is there. Having one "good year" does not mean that this relationship will go the distance. You know who he is - he is the guy who talks to other women on Craigslist and can't be trusted. Walk away.

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Last time I caught him on craigslist was a year ago.

 

 

 

 

And before that was just stuff from when we weren't dating.. which didn't bother me except that it's gross and I refuse to believe he never went through with those.

Kicking myself now because that should have been the final thing to make me go.

 

Idk how I've continued to let myself be manipulated. I really do torture myself. It goes so much deeper than just Craigslist, too.

It's all just a mess and every day I act like we're okay and I think about my future if I left.

 

He has time because on his days off he's home without me. He doesn't have much of a life outside of me. He's either with his mom, with me, or at work.

But I'm 99% sure that he never goes anywhere to cheat, he's way too lazy.

 

All of this makes me feel like an insecure teenager in a relationship.

I'm 24, we have been through this many times, you'd think I would know better by now.

 

He has to be hiding something. It's the only thing that makes sense.

 

Thank you for your reply. It's so much better to hear what people outside of my life has to say that don't know him personally.

 

Okay, i know this probably is gonna sound crazy but i have to ask.... how did you catch him on craigslist? I only ask because my bf recently approached me with an ad off Craigslist "personals" that turned out to be one of our closest MARRIED friends. And it has not stopped bothering how the hell he found this???!!! And reading your post i thought maybe you could give me some insight to craiglist or something. Maybe i dont know much about the site but i just dont think personals jump out when your looking for "jobs"...

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  • 5 years later...
On 1/18/2016 at 8:07 PM, Chewie312 said:

But I'm 99% sure that he never goes anywhere to cheat, he's way too lazy.

dang if laziness is his reason for not cheating instead of his insatiable love for you, that is not good! it's 2021 and I pray you have freed yourself from this tangled mess girl!

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