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I can't stop thinking about what she told me before we broke up...


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Hey everybody, greetings from Arkansas...


I am posting this because my imagination will not let me rest, although it has been two months since we broke it off and things are getting easier.


I am a 32 year old man who was in a brief 3 month relationship with a girl who was 21/22. We moved really quickly, slept together twice the first night and every time we were together. I would say the break up was completely my fault, I was being inattentive, smoking weed and not putting my full energy into keeping this girl interested. I was taking her for granted although I never intentionally did anything to hurt her.


I am coming to terms with the fact that we may never be friends again, and that we may never talk. But there are so many details she revealed to me that I cannot stop thinking about. She had made a few dom/sub references here and there. One time before sex she abruptly asked "You don't like to tie people up do you? Good, because I did NOT like that..." I brushed it off at the moment, but of course after a break up I played every single thing she said or did over in my head a million times.


Then she had mentioned that there was a past relationship she had had that kept ing with her. I gently asked what had happened, and I assumed it was something serious by her tone. She revealed that she had "let somebody rape me". This is in reference to her past dom/sub relationship. She completely blamed herself, saying "there's a fine line between rape and what I let him do". I tried to ask for further details but she wasn't comfortable and so we moved on.


Now, I cannot get the image of her tied up, and being hurt out my head. We do not talk anymore, and she is not on any social media (which is a little odd to me, in addition to the fact that she HATES her grandparents, claims not to remember anything before the age of 12, her parents are super religious and conservative, asking her if she is moving to the 'dark side' i.e. the devil, when she hasn't seen them for awhile.) It's like she's hiding from someone.


Anyways, you can read and comment what you will. I will probably schedule a psychiatrist visit soon just to get some perspective, since this was very disturbing to me initially. I may reach out to her in a few months when I am in a better place emotionally. I have to be ready to be rejected though, as she began seeing someone else recently.


I know I have to simply move on, but I figured I would ask and see what everyone thought about the relationship, how to handle a situation such as this, and how to keep myself from my imagination.


Thank you...

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Welcome to ENA.


To be honest, her sex life is no longer your business, so I think you need to stop thinking about it. I know, easier said than done, but it was a brief relationship and you're no longer together so this has nothing to do with you anymore. I think it's just time to move forward....

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Going to talk to someone isn't a bad idea.


I think reading your tale that this woman has some real issues and maybe you are drawn to that. That kind of oversharing and the whole situation in general, just smacks of a pile of drama waiting to happen.

I doubt it was 'entirely your fault' for the break up - it's more likely this was not something ever meant to take off in the first place.

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So what.. its over.. you no longer have to think about her sex life. The only reason why you are thinking about it is to still be connected thru concern. I believe that you believe as long as you are concerned about her well being that in some way you are still connected to her on some level.

Truth is that it doesnt matter what she said to you. Any promises or what she said about the relationship has to be thrown out the window. You had fun with a 21yr old for 3 months and now its time to move on.

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