Jealous of my ex-boyfriend's relationship?

[Marelle]

Just to be clear, I'm not jealous because I want him back or because I'm still in love with him or anything. We ended mutually on good terms a year ago and I'm super happy for him that he found someone because I already knew and accepted that we weren't right for each other a long time ago.

 

Anyways back to the jealousy, I'm jealous because of how perfect his relationship seems to be. They're absolutely perfect for each other and I find it really cute actually but I can't help but feel jealous that I haven't found anyone yet.

 

I have dated in the past year but one was just casual and it ended after 2 months, and the other was 6 months long and that ended with him cheating on me.

 

I just can't figure out why my relationships don't seem to last or work out (my relationship with my ex was 2 years). My ex is in this fantastic relationship while I'm over here still dwelling and being upset over my last ex who cheated (it just happened a month ago and I'm still trying to get over it and do no contact).

 

Is there anything I can do to stop feeling this way? To stop the jealous and to also get over my last relationship? Also any advice as to why my relationships aren't working out?

 

I was completely over my ex when I started dating again and I don't plan on seeing other people now until I've moved on from all of this

 

Thanks!

[dias]

I don't think we can tell you why your relationships don't work out because simply we don't know you.

 

Moreover finding the right person takes some time. Probably you need to date more people to find out what you are looking for .

[IAmFCA]

I understand exactly what you mean and am in a similar situation. Consider whether you are actively seeking improvement, trying to break patterns, etc. My ex is in a relationship that repeats patterns that have been destructive to him. Otherwise, they seem incredibly happy and gifted with each other. But its not a relationship I would want. I am seeking a relationship that is built brick by brick on a strong foundation, and that is an effort. I miss having the relationship in place,but I've walked away from potential relationships because they weren't exactly what I want. I like that about what I am doing, but question it a lot too.

 

That's my case, as an example. Some questions for you to consider: How do you know their relationship is so great? Are you choosing men who want to jump into a relationship with you, rather than men who have the sort of character you require? Is wanting a relationship clouding your judgment about with whom you have it?

[Astrogirl]

^ beautifully put IThinkICan

[faraday]

Who runs around airing their dirty laundry? It's not perfect.

 

Adjust your dating filters, and get back out there. Did the last bf show any red flags that he was a cheater? Look back and figure them out- and when you see them in future prospects, end things.

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[IAmFCA]

^ beautifully put IThinkICan

 

Thank you!

[Blue_Skirt]

Anyways back to the jealousy, I'm jealous because of how perfect his relationship seems to be. They're absolutely perfect for each other and I find it really cute actually but I can't help but feel jealous that I haven't found anyone yet.

From the outside most relationships look perfect. While I hope he is really happy, you will never know. This reminds of the thread here on ENA about people bragging on Facebook. You will see people put pictures on Facebook of their house, their new car, happy family vacation pictures. But have you ever seen pictures on Facebook of the bank foreclosing on the house because people could not pay the mortgage anymore. Have you ever seen pictures of cars getting towed because the monthly payments were late? Do you ever see pictures of family fights during their vacation?

 

I think you should stop dating for a while and do some soul searching and work on yourself. Think about why your relationships did not work out, and what your involvement was for a relationship not working out. Think about what is really important for you in a relationship. What are your deal breakers?