How to cope

[Shatteredpiece]

Im new to this type of thing . My boyfriend and the father of my beautiful daughter told me today that he slept with another girl. He and the girl have been friends for a long time i noticed she had been calling him late at night and alot more frequent so i talked to both him and her to figure out what was going on . They both claimed to have been friends for years and they could just speak to each other . Well my boyfriend and i stopped talking for a month , during the month they must have gotten closer because they ended up sleeping together twice . I figured something happened between the two because he kept accusing me of sleeping with someone or anyone even his own friends . he finally came clean and told me what happened he deleted her out of his phone and off all social media im pretty sure shes out of the picture for good for various reasons now but i just feel so stupid and i love him but i feel like i wont be able to look him in his eyes without hurting knowing he did something with someone else . my question is how do i cope with this?

[dias]

I would say with divorce but you seem to want to keep the family together so couple's counseling perhaps?

[Willywagtail]

Counselling. You need to figure out why you can't talk to each other and why you wouldn't talk to him for a month.

 

If your beautiful daughter is important to both of you, then BOTH of you need to prove it by committing to be the best parents you can to her. You can do this by learning how to communicate with each other, respecting each other and committing to each other.

 

Both of you need to grow up and take your responsibility seriously. He can't just go off and have sex with someone when things are a bit difficult, and you can't stop talking to him for a month.

[melancholy123]

Get some counselling to put it all into perspective.

[ThatwasThen]

Without counselling, you won't be able to look at him in the same way again because you'll not be able to trust him. You need help with learning how to do that again and he needs help in being able to communicate his needs to you so that you can remedy (and vice versa) rather then looking outside the marriage for what he may feel is lacking.

 

Don't make the mistake of just taking him back without working this out with a unbiased third party. If you don't want to do counselling then you'd do well to just leave him and get on with your life as parents with joint custody of their daughter.

 

Good luck.