Arix Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 I've been with my bf for about a year now. Initilally, every thing was perf, no probs , no arguments. Basically the perfect r-ship. Met him while I was working but now I'm back @ uni. I still see him every 2 weeks or 3 weeks @ most. However since I've started school things have started to go south. I dreamt twice that he cheated on me. And at the time I thought nothing of it because well, they're dreams and they mean nothing. Also I'm a bit insecure, and since I've started school I've had some episodes of depression, not feeling good enough, thinking he leave me for someone prettier, smarter whatever. But things got really bad when we started following each other on Instagram. I saw some the raunchy half naked pics of this particular female he kept on liking and immediately red flags went up. I never brought it tho his attention but seeing this just amped up my insecurities by like 100%. I started to have trust issues, and question things. So much so that I had a moment of weakness and checked his phone. Checked his IG DMs and found he was tlkng to a bunch of random girls. While I found nothing too incriminating, it was still unsettling non the less. But one thing that really struck me was the fact that he called a female princess. He's never called me that, ever. And it made me pretty darn sad. Matter of fact I can't recall him ever calling me beautiful. Next thing I checked was his gallery. Found a myriad of nudes! I went as far to check the date they were received and most of the ones I saw were fr 2013, and only Lord knows if he had gotten any since we stated dating cuz I didn't check em all. But I was so confused as to why he would still have all those photos on his phone ??. I point blank don't him I was having trust issues and he said there's no one else but...I just have solo many doubts. But despite this I am still so much in love with him and I told him. He didn't respond right away but when he did he said love you too. Told him once again after the first time and again he said love you too. Not I but just love you too. I need help. What is your evaluation of the situation. Am I looking into things too much? What should I do???
mhowe Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 You should.stop looking through his phone.and.address your own insecurity.
Arix Posted November 20, 2015 Author Posted November 20, 2015 I've only ever looked through his phone once. And yes, I'm trying to work on my insecurities. But what about all those pics I found?
mhowe Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 From 2013? You are going to police his activities from before you were dating?
Arix Posted November 20, 2015 Author Posted November 20, 2015 Yeah but those happened to be the ones I actually checked, he has hundreds of pictures. He could have some from since we started dating for all I know. I mean he's been liking some ty pics on IG up till very recently so....how can I not have some concern
Blue_Skirt Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 What would people find if they were looking through your phone?
Helpexpressme Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 Those pics are from 2013 tho and it's 2015 now.
mhowe Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 Because he is allowed to "like" picture. You are making this all up in your head. Since you are at college, I would avail myself of the free counseling services. Relationships are built on trust. If your insecurity is eroding trust and you are making stuff up from dreams and thin air...you need to address it. Or you will never have a healthy relationship... With this guy or anyone else.
Blue_Skirt Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 Those pics are from 2013 tho and it's 2015 now. I still have love letters from 1986, I am in big trouble.
Arix Posted November 20, 2015 Author Posted November 20, 2015 @Blue_Skirt People wud find absolutely nothing. I have nothing to hide. My phone isn't even password protected. Also how can you even compare love letters to nudes?! Are you guys even reading the entire post though? Seems like you're only addressing the pics I found and ignoring everything else.
Arix Posted November 20, 2015 Author Posted November 20, 2015 Blue_Skirt People wud find absolutely nothing. I have nothing to hide. My phone isn't even password protected. Also how can you even compare love letters to nudes?! Are you guys even reading the entire post though? Seems like you're only addressing the pics I found and ignoring everything else.
Arix Posted November 20, 2015 Author Posted November 20, 2015 People wud find absolutely nothing. I have nothing to hide. My phone isn't even password protected. Also how can you even compare love letters to nudes?! Are you guys even reading the entire post though? Seems like you're only addressing the pics I found and ignoring everything else.
mhowe Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 They are likely under review from a moderator.
mhowe Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 xWhile I found nothing too incriminating, it was still unsettling non the less. But one thing that really struck me was the fact that he called a female princess. H Who cares? I don't think you are cut out for relationships at this time. Seek counseling.
Blue_Skirt Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 Blue_Skirt People wud find absolutely nothing. I have nothing to hide. My phone isn't even password protected. Also how can you even compare love letters to nudes?! Are you guys even reading the entire post though? Seems like you're only addressing the pics I found and ignoring everything else. Well, we did not have internet, smartphones etc. back then, so we could only write letters, because the home phone would be in the living room and you would not have any privacy if you would have wanted to call your boyfriend. And we even had to ask permission to use the phone. So much about the old days when everything was different. First of all, the pictures you found were from before you two were together. Yes they were nudes, it would not be my taste to have naked men on my smart phone, and it does not seem to be your taste either, good for you. But he is together with you, right? He called another girl princess? He never called you beautiful? Is he treating you well and with respect? What does his actions say? That is more important than words. If you have trust issues work on them. Don’t snoop, never helpful.
bulletproof Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 Blue_Skirt People wud find absolutely nothing. I have nothing to hide. My phone isn't even password protected. Also how can you even compare love letters to nudes?! Are you guys even reading the entire post though? Seems like you're only addressing the pics I found and ignoring everything else. What should we be addressing? Whether we think he's cheating? I don't think that talking to females (including using the word "princess") or having nude photos on a phone necessarily means he's cheating. I also agree with those saying that you should never, ever invade his or anyone else's privacy again.
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