Guy I've been dating and I got in a huge fight ?

[paigemariie]

Long story short: we got in an argument. I was ignoring him and giving him the silent treatment. This was my attempt to bite my tongue to avoid lashing out. He kept bugging me so I finally lashed out. He got mad.

I was at his place and said that I should go and he responded with "yes you should. And never come back. "

This made me even more upset and he apologized immediately saying he said it in a heat of a moment but the damage was already done and I was just brewing at this point. This made the argument worse. I went home. I let it cool down and I texted him 40 min later trying to explain myself and he responds with "c off and get over yourself " I apologized and didn't contribute to the argument. I was being very mature and decided to be the bigger person but he was still name calling. He hasn't texted.

 

Is this the end of it then? This never happened. We got in an argument before but we al aye made up before going to bed. This is the first time ever that we haven't made up. It makes me wonder if it's over. Should I hit him up in the morning when he's slept it off?

[dias]

Not all contretemps are the same. You could try to talk to him ( a last attempt) when he will be more placid . Then you will have your answer.

[greta96]

I would not aggravate him even further. You tried to explain, and he told you to go f*ck yourself. Let him calm down, and if he is still interested in continuing the relationship, he will reach out to you when he's ready.

You pushing the issue would only make him retaliate and distance himself even further.

[Loriana]

Everyone says things they don't mean in the heat of the moment.

 

I would give this some time and let him be alone with his thoughts and hopefully he will contact you in a day or so.

[becomingkate]

Ignoring him and giving him the silent treatment can be perceived as passive aggressive or game playing.

Then saying "I should go" when you're hoping he'll say "No, stay" reinforced the game playing and he called you on it.

Was the argument over something serious?

[DoF]

If someone was to tell me "You shoudl go and never come back", I would do just that.

 

Find, let's take "everyone deserves a 2nd chance, but not 3rd" approach. You reach out to him, explain yourself and reaching out to resolve it.....and he continued on with name calling and pushing me off further......that would be a last straw.

 

HOWEVER

 

I think his current actions should tell you loud and clear he is not that great of a man and probably not worth it in the long run. First fights/arguments are important, they set the stage and as of today, your stage if one of a high school students.

[paigemariie]

Thank you for all the response . I appreciate it. I've done some thinking and I decided not to contact him. He is not mature enough for me. I tried to resolve the problem and he responded by being hostile to by name calling and attacking me. I am a bit older than him too but not by much. Only 6 months apart. But guess that makes a huge differmeans de

 

To add to the story: he called me a psychopath and said I "needed to see a therapist " while I tried to resolve our argument

 

I don't want someone like that in my life anyway and I don't I want someone to say mean things to me during an argument every time.

 

Thanks again everyone

[Ms Darcy]

You are not taking responsibility for your own actions here. While he wasn't mature, neither were you. Silent treatment, the argument, and texting (worst way to communicate during a fight). No, you both have some growing to do.

[Mari]

Thank you for all the response . I appreciate it. I've done some thinking and I decided not to contact him. He is not mature enough for me. I tried to resolve the problem and he responded by being hostile to by name calling and attacking me. I am a bit older than him too but not by much. Only 6 months apart. But guess that makes a huge differmeans de

 

To add to the story: he called me a psychopath and said I "needed to see a therapist " while I tried to resolve our argument

 

I don't want someone like that in my life anyway and I don't I want someone to say mean things to me during an argument every time.

 

Thanks again everyone

 

I know your actions make sense in the way you've explained them here but it's not obvious and perhaps you haven't explained it to him. Right now his perspective would be that he tried talking to you, you kept ignoring him and giving him silent treatment, and then finally when you did talk you just blew up. The silent treatment never goes well. Name calling is also not good. I would say just explain your part of why you did the silent treatment, it seems like you're pretty settled on breaking up. Also, when you say you lashed out did you call him names too?

[thejigsup]

I would say both of you could take a course on how to communicate. You didn't do so hot, either.

[bulletproof]

Long story short: we got in an argument. I was ignoring him and giving him the silent treatment. This was my attempt to bite my tongue to avoid lashing out.

 

I'm calling b.s. on this, mainly because I've done it. The silent treatment is perhaps the worst thing to do to someone. I used to tell myself it's because I didn't want to say something I'd regret, but that wasn't true. The fact was I was unable to communicate maturely and say how I was feeling because I wanted the other person to chase me and drag it out of me.

 

He is equally as bad by telling you to f off. So maybe the two of you should stay apart and work on yourselves.