Should I stay or Work it Out?

[Msjackielove]

I feel a little awkward asking advice on here, but let's just say that's it come to that point where I really need an opinion from somone that won't feel sorry for me, but just tell me the truth just as it is....

Well here's my situation... I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. I'm 24, I have aa 3YO son I love more than anything, and my bf is 26 and he has a daughter that's 6. So we both were single parents before we met. The difference between him and I is that I learned from my past relationship (son's father) to never let a guy treat me like crap and control me whenever they please. My bf was cheated on from his past relationship, if obviously didn't end well and I'm more than certain he started dating me a year later after he broke up with his ex. Not sure if that is enough time for someone to heal from being cheated on. But once my bf and I started dating he never liked that I had guy friends, and he always thinks that my friends will steer me in the wrong direction and force us to break up. So I've been doing what he wants so that he can have trust in me and he can get rid of that untrustworthy flaw. I know it's really important to have in a relationship and many times I have told him I don't want to be with him anymore but he alwyas says no. I shouldn't be finding "any reason" to breap up with him. Which is bs because I have my reasons. There are good days that we have with each other and the kids and then there are some bad ones. He just doesn't have any trust. He alwyas needs to know where I go, he has a GPS on me, and rarely let's me wear makeup anymore. I really want to be happy, not just for me but for the sake of my son's future. I want my son go have someone that he can look up to. My bf loves my son and alwyas treats him like his own but its just issues between him and I. I need some advice on what I should do. How will I ever be happy. There's obviously sooo much I didn't mention but hope this has basically gives someone the idea what I'm going through right now.

[mhowe]

You can't prove to him that you are trustworthy, no matter what you do. His insecurity lies within him. He won't get better with time...it will only increase.

 

You don't keep threatening to end it. You simply end it. Don't model poor relationship behavior to your child.

[janut1]

The difference between him and I is that I learned from my past relationship (son's father) to never let a guy treat me like crap and control me whenever they please.

 

This is not true. You are allowing him to treat you like crap and control you. He has GPS on you? Won't let you wear makeup? He has trust issues and no matter how faithful you are, he will never trust that you won't cheat on him. This will just keep getting worse. I agree - time to stop threatening to leave and just leave. You are so young and have time to find a man who will trust you and is good to your son.

[Woman soul]

Every relationship is hard!!! and a woman's instinct is to continue trying... Depending on how you feel if you love him and you want to keep trying then sit down with him explain the fact that he's gonna have to trust you and let you wear make up and be with your friends I understand the boy part but atleast around girls out to eat and stuff... If he chooses to not change but you want to still try then give him a little scare and break up if you guys are living together pack your stuff and leave for a month and a half or something I'm telling you this because it worked for my relationship I was the controlling one and as soon as he left me I opened my eyes towards the possessive person I was being I still have things to change in but trust me sometimes we need that little scare as a little push of course in the other hand if you deep down feel like this will be a waste of time then don't even over think it and break it up for good and I really hope you find a guy who's worth you because your being loyal good luck

[catfeeder]

There are two forms of jealousy--the kind legitimately prompted by suspicious behavior, and then there's the kind that's habitual and indiscriminate.

 

There is no dealing with the second kind.

 

I'd stop giving warnings and just get out. You don't want to model this kind of relationship for your kid--and aside from that, there's no reason to put up with it yourself.

[Msjackielove]

I appreciate the time that was taken to reply to my post and I understand that one may say that it's easy to just leave just like that in a quick second but its not. I am being extremely cautious though and I know for now I have to bite my tongue through his behavior. What I didn't mention was that I have attempted to leave him soo many times that it has come down to the point where I don't even want to get help from my family or friends any more because I know they're probably sick and tired of me saying the same thing about how I am going to leave him soon. So I feel like this is up to me. Back in April 2015 we got in a huge argument because he didn't trust me and I got really angry and I took my anger on his car window and his stereo. I needed up going to jail for it because he called the cops on me and told them I was acting crazy. Till this day I don't even know why I am back with him. I put my family through allot and I know I ed up but why did I go back with him I do not know. I wish I was a stronger woman. And now when I threaten to leave him he says I better pay him back for the damages first before I leave him or else. And on top of that he knows alot about me that he says he will use to his advantage to destroy my life. So I just feel like I have no control of my life. It's pathetic I know but I just feel like I need the right moment to leave him. Perhaps on the day I gather up the money to pay back for the damages.

[mhowe]

You have yet to pay him back for the damages?

 

This isn't love. It is a toxic codependency. No amount of online advice is going to solve this for you. You know you should leave, however ---- since you have anger issues as well, perhaps you could check your medical coverage and look into some therapy?