Blythe Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 So this is my story... Last year I met a guy(M). It wasn't love at first sight, it was connection at first sight. We talkt every single day for at least 6 months, we hang out, but we never dated. He doesn't live in my country, so we saw every time he came here on holiday. We had this connection, we could talk endless hours without getting bored.. he made me laugh, he gave me advice, he was by my side, he listened, he made me a better version of myself. He was my soul mate. After a few months I realized I was falling for him, but I was afraid to tell him, because it could ruin our friendship. After a while, I took courage and I told him how i felt. He told me he feels the same for me (and I believed him, because of his behaviour), but to wait to see how things go between us. Then I made something that ruined everything. I tried to fix it, but I couldn't. I was heartbroken. We lost connection after that. Then I met my actual partner. Things are great between us, I love him, he makes me happy, and I feel like I could settle. We are one year together. Two months ago, I started talking with M. He told me that he didn't forget me and couldn't find anyone like me. That he missed me and he wished that he didn't react that way. I feel bad, because after all this time, I still have feelings for him and we are the same, like nothing bad ever happened. I feel bad because I love my actual partner and I could marry him, but he's not my soulmate. We don't have that connection, that fire that I have with M. I don't want to hurt him, but I feel like I'm incomplete with him. I don't know what to do, I could give another shot with M, but I'm afraid of losing what I have now. I think I would settle with my actual partner and spend my whole life missing my soul mate... (Excuse my grammar, english is my 2nd language)
Hollyj Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 I think you're living in a fantasy, You do not truly know this other guy. You would need to see him regularly to know if things would really work - you're only seeing his best side as time is limited. I would also be concerned that this guy would disappear on you again. If you think you are settling, then that is not fair to your current partner. Doesn't sound like he is the one. It's is also very disrespectful to your partner to be communicating with this guy, End your relationship.
Blythe Posted November 19, 2015 Author Posted November 19, 2015 I don't want to end my relationship, I rather endit with M. I love my partner and I want to marry him, but I don't feel that connection between us. What I'm asking is, its ok to marry him even if we are not 100% on the same page? Even if we don't have that strong connection and we are total different on some ways?
Capricorn3 Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 I don't want to end my relationship, I rather endit with M. I love my partner and I want to marry him, but I don't feel that connection between us. What I'm asking is, its ok to marry him even if we are not 100% on the same page? Even if we don't have that strong connection and we are total different on some ways? Why would anyone want to marry someone who they have no connection with and is not on the same page as them? That sounds like a recipe for disaster and just getting married for the sake of getting married. Really really BAD idea (imo).
DoF Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 Between the fact that you don't know this person (sorry, but no IN PERSON contact = not time together). And the fact that you live in completely different countries and have long distance relationship......I agree with Hollyj, you are living in a fantasy. Date people close to you, ones you can meat in person. Long distance relationships simply don't work.
mhowe Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 What did you make/do with M that you can't did and created the chasm.? Has your new guy asked you to marry him and do you have an engagement ring?
DoF Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 I love my partner and I want to marry him, but I don't feel that connection between us. What I'm asking is, its ok to marry him even if we are not 100% on the same page? Even if we don't have that strong connection and we are total different on some ways? I'm afraid you can't be helped. hehe
musicman777 Posted November 29, 2015 Posted November 29, 2015 I agree with the others... why do you want to marry someone you don't feel a connection with?! Honestly, it sounds like BOTH paths in this case are the wrong one. Why don't you cut them both out and wait for the right guy to come along with no baggage and drama? You need to act on this. For the love of god, please don't marry someone you don't feel isn't fully worth it. You have the wrong idea of what marriage is if you feel this way. You shouldn't "settle" for anyone.
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