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It's About The Journey...


notalady
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Congratulations!!!!!

 

Sounds like everything was imperfectly perfect, perfectly imperfect and magical. I'm so happy for you.

 

Absolutely! I love imperfections and realness, to be honest it was 99% perfect and the imperfection was through my own fault (and it was true to form, that’s why it makes for a funny story haha)..

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I just logged in today for the first time in years and I see that you've gotten married! Holy carp! Congrats, NAL!!!!

 

HIIII WL!!!! So good to see you here!! Looks like a few people making a come back after being away for a while.

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  • 1 year later...

Suddenly thought of my journal here today, maybe it’s out of boredom as I cuddle my newborn to sleep, yes my friends, much has changed since I last updated! A new chapter to my journey if you will! I now have a little boy who just turned 6 weeks old yesterday! He is very adorable and what you would probably call an easy baby so far, as easy as a new born can be!

 

I’ll admit the first few weeks was hard, we had latching issues, and I found out through speaking to people that most others had it too, I’ve heard of and been prepared for many issues like the birth itself, baby’s sleep etc, but I’m not sure why I never heard of this being a common issue before and during pregnancy but there you go! There were a few episodes of breaking down before I finally decided around 3 weeks to introduce some formula (to supplement expressing breastmilk to feed him). I also had mastitis which gave me fevers on and off for a week. The Lactation Consultant suggested wait and see if the fever improved since it came and went within 24h usually, as antibiotics would destroy my gut and baby’s gut. I don’t really care about my gut it’s not like I hadn’t had antibiotics before, but if it affects the baby I wanted to avoid it. In the end I still needed antibiotics. It doesn’t seem to have affected either of us though, that I can tell, and it made a world of difference, because I finally didn’t feel like crap and could get up and go out and about, and enjoy getting to know my baby.

 

I felt guilty about introducing formula so early, but that passed quickly. It felt like I could breath again and the pressure was off. I love to research things and I think sometimes that works against me. There is the ideal of how things should be in the best case scenario, and I wanted that for my baby, but then there is what actually works for my particular situation. And that was antibiotics and supplementing with formula. They are only little for so short, and I wanted to be fully present and feel joy when I look back, not miserable or feeling pressured or wishing I had enjoyed it more.

 

Since a week or two ago, breastfeeding has improved, though it’s not consistent. And I just came to realise today, that I don’t actually enjoy breastfeeding. I would continue expressing and giving him breastmilk in the bottle, plus formula when required, I think it feels...freeing in a way.

 

Aside from that, we have a decent routine worked out and things are going well. He’s a decent sleeper for a 6 week old, doing long stretches of 5 or so hours a night in the first half of the night and 2-3 hours at a time in the second half. When I’m up at 2 in the morning, feeling tired, and he falls asleep in my arms, I take a mental picture (and occasionally a real picture lol) to remind myself of this precious point in time in my journey that I’ll never get back, that I hope to remember when he’s a teenager and would rather die than fall asleep in my arms.

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Is there anything cuter than a baby being sound asleep? I could stare at him for hours when he’s sleeping (not that he’s not cute when he’s awake and alert, checking out his surroundings and taking it all in), I’m excited about all the things we can do together as he gets older, and looking forward to his first smile which is suppose to happen any time now!

 

Today was a bit rough nap wise though, we try and go out for lunch somewhere on most days, typically walking distance and baby would fall asleep in the pram. today we decided to go for a drive and in the past, he was more than happy to sleep in the car seat, for some reason he didn’t really sleep in the car seat, or wakes up when the car stopped at lights, and also woke up when we took him out of the seat. I guess because he’s not so sleepy like the early days and getting more alert.

 

As a result, he pretty much didn’t take his midday nap (usually his longest nap), and was overtired when we got home. Trying to put him to sleep was a struggle. I was annoyed at ourselves for taking the drive. And felt bad that he seemed so tired and crying for help to get him to sleep. This weekend we’re going to visit a friend who is an hour drive away, I was thinking of driving during one of his nap times but now I’m thinking we go after his morning nap and before midday nap, then I can try to do his midday nap at their place.

 

Thank god he fell asleep at close to 6pm and still asleep 2.5 hours later, this will probably just be extending into his night time sleep. Also means I won’t get as long a sleep for the first stretch because I’m still up at close to 8:30 and missing much of the long stretch of his sleep! Wonder what the rest of the night holds!

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Congratulations on your baby!! I have a son who is 11 and I could not breastfeed although tried my best the first 12 days. Fed is best. I was so disappointed though. He thrived on formula. You choose what is best for your family as far as the sleep schedule. I put his schedule first, I pissed off many people along the way including my husband at times but he was a good sleeper from early on and didn't want to mess with it. I had many friends who felt differently and many in the middle. You do what makes sense to you -kind of like how people right now are putting their kids' socialization over covid risks in certain situations and others are not. It's really hard sometimes to figure out what is best for your family and for you and to tune out judgments. But it's so rewarding if you can -you will feel great about yourself and strong despite being sleep derpived!! i get it!

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Congratulations on your baby!! I have a son who is 11 and I could not breastfeed although tried my best the first 12 days. Fed is best. I was so disappointed though. He thrived on formula. You choose what is best for your family as far as the sleep schedule. I put his schedule first, I pissed off many people along the way including my husband at times but he was a good sleeper from early on and didn't want to mess with it. I had many friends who felt differently and many in the middle. You do what makes sense to you -kind of like how people right now are putting their kids' socialization over covid risks in certain situations and others are not. It's really hard sometimes to figure out what is best for your family and for you and to tune out judgments. But it's so rewarding if you can -you will feel great about yourself and strong despite being sleep derpived!! i get it!

 

Thank you! Yes there are so many conflicting views on the “right” way to do things, we found this even when in hospital with the midwives. You just have to weigh up the pros and cons and do what’s right for you :)

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Hi NL!

So excited you checked in and congratulations on the baby boy!!

 

I won't droll on with details but I had a difficult delivery with my first son and with most firsts you want to do everything right.

 

I was in the hospital for week and the pediatrician checked in on my son every morning. The lactation specialists were pretty militant hovering around for the cause and you just feel overwheimed.

 

At some point the pediatrician took one look at the mechinical breast pump in the corner and a sorry looking me and said 'Don't be superwoman. Give the baby a bottle'

 

I was so relieved that someone had to give me permission to do so and I never looked back. Both my sons were bottle fed, super healthy and slept through the night.

 

Not trying to sway you either way, but I remember the guilt and wanting to do everything perfect. Funny with the next child we realize they aren't as fragile as we think they are.

 

Glad your here. . .hope you come back :)

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Hi NL!

So excited you checked in and congratulations on the baby boy!!

 

I won't droll on with details but I had a difficult delivery with my first son and with most firsts you want to do everything right.

 

I was in the hospital for week and the pediatrician checked in on my son every morning. The lactation specialists were pretty militant hovering around for the cause and you just feel overwheimed.

 

At some point the pediatrician took one look at the mechinical breast pump in the corner and a sorry looking me and said 'Don't be superwoman. Give the baby a bottle'

 

I was so relieved that someone had to give me permission to do so and I never looked back. Both my sons were bottle fed, super healthy and slept through the night.

 

Not trying to sway you either way, but I remember the guilt and wanting to do everything perfect. Funny with the next child we realize they aren't as fragile as we think they are.

 

Glad your here. . .hope you come back :)

 

Hi Reinvent! Thank you! Absolutely the pressure to breastfeed is there, among other things. It doesn’t help that health advice sometimes just doesn’t match up with reality, and you feel bad doing something different to the official recommendations because you may be putting your child’s health at risk, but as you say, they’re not as fragile as you think :)

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Hi Reinvent! Thank you! Absolutely the pressure to breastfeed is there, among other things. It doesn’t help that health advice sometimes just doesn’t match up with reality, and you feel bad doing something different to the official recommendations because you may be putting your child’s health at risk, but as you say, they’re not as fragile as you think :)

 

Yes I also felt pressure to nurse but I also wasn't as active on Facebook mom groups back then. I stopped at day 12 (he got some breast milk and colustrum) because I didn't have enough supply and I had a postpartum stroke and was prescribed blood thinners for 6 months. They told me it was safe to nurse with those meds but there weren't enough studies for my comfort level. Plus I'd just had a stroke. So i cancelled my appointment with the lactation consultant and here's the truth -I felt relieved in part -in part -that I didn't have to keep struggling and being totally stressed out.

 

My sister nursed all of her 4 kids -3 of them till past age 3. She could. I couldn't. One of her kids was allergic so she stopped after about a year. She's awesome. And I couldn't. But yes I felt parly relieved. He thrived on formula.

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Thank you! How old is your baby?

 

Not quite a year yet!

 

I personally found breastfeeding to get much easier and more enjoyable as time went on. I remember at first wondering how anyone could ever find it easy and convenient and carefree, but then it became that way for me too. These days I mostly pump because of my very long work hours, and I am super grateful to have that flexibility, but I find it a hassle. I can’t wait until I don’t have to wash those dang pump parts anymore!

 

Congratulations again and enjoy that baby.

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Not quite a year yet!

 

I personally found breastfeeding to get much easier and more enjoyable as time went on. I remember at first wondering how anyone could ever find it easy and convenient and carefree, but then it became that way for me too. These days I mostly pump because of my very long work hours, and I am super grateful to have that flexibility, but I find it a hassle. I can’t wait until I don’t have to wash those dang pump parts anymore!

 

Congratulations again and enjoy that baby.

 

Yes washing pump parts is a pain! Although you can actually put it in the fridge and only wash once every 24 hours. It’s definitely a hassle compared to breastfeeding only or formula only, not sure I’ll make it to a year with pumping to be honest, I think my goal is make it to 6 months then move to formula only.

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  • 1 month later...

J went back to work this Monday after having had 12 weeks off. I thoroughly appreciated his help in the first couple of months and still do but it was nice to be “alone” too if you know what I mean, I thought I would scramble without him but I didn’t, I just planned ahead more knowing I didn’t have someone here to help at any moment so I’d plan my meal time, pump time, and other things more than before and it was totally fine. I was also quicker in doing things baby related because I wasn’t discussing it with someone else I just did it, so in that sense it felt easier.

 

I’ve also been going to a local mums group for a few weeks now, met some nice down to earth ladies and definitely appreciated this week for an opportunity to get out of the house and socialise! Especially when majority of my friends don’t have kids.

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J went back to work this Monday after having had 12 weeks off. I thoroughly appreciated his help in the first couple of months and still do but it was nice to be “alone” too if you know what I mean, I thought I would scramble without him but I didn’t, I just planned ahead more knowing I didn’t have someone here to help at any moment so I’d plan my meal time, pump time, and other things more than before and it was totally fine. I was also quicker in doing things baby related because I wasn’t discussing it with someone else I just did it, so in that sense it felt easier.

 

I’ve also been going to a local mums group for a few weeks now, met some nice down to earth ladies and definitely appreciated this week for an opportunity to get out of the house and socialise! Especially when majority of my friends don’t have kids.

 

Very nice - my husband took two weeks and then started traveling a few days a week for a couple of months - it was hard to solo parent!! I went back to work -part time -after 7 years (right after I turned 50!). I did a moms group a couple of times where we took our babies to the park in strollers and we exercised. I met a few people but too much of the exercise involved leaving the stroller with the instructor -another mom and not certified in childcare, etc -so that didn't work for me but I hear you about meeting other people and I'm glad you like these moms!

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