regretgirl Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 My ex and I broke up over 3 months ago and I haven't spoken to him or his family members since it happened. I'm over the breakup and have been getting along just fine. Out of the blue I get a text message from his mom asking if I'd like to meet up with her sometime this week... I am a bit confused about why she wants to meet randomly after 3 months. On one hand, I think meeting her is pointless since I have no relevance to her life anymore, but on the other hand she is a very sweet woman and it would feel rude to reject her offer. Now let me start by saying we got along really well while her son and I were dating. She is the only woman living in a house full of guys so I guess she kind of latched onto me as a "daughter" to do fun, girly things with. She always went out of her way to make me feel welcome in her home and I appreciated her to no end. I just think it's a bit strange because I'm not sure if my ex would even be comfortable with this or what he would think... I would certainly feel weird if my own mom invited my ex to have lunch privately with her. Here's the kicker... My ex and his mom are very close. Kind of a mama's boy situation. During our relationship, he told her basically everything including little petty arguments we would have which annoyed me to no end because I hated having minor issues so transparent to other people. The night before we broke up, I was annoyed with him so of course he ran to his mother to tell her. She told me to get out of the house... The next day he broke up with me and I never spoke to any of them again. My question is why on gods green earth does she want to meet up with me now!? Can you help me formulate some possible reasons an ex's mom would want to meet? I'm not sure whether I should accept or decline her invite.
Clinton Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 Nobody knows. If you think meeting won't do you any harm, go for it. If not, politely refuse
j.man Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 Why is this a question? Have some respect for your ex's boundaries and, more importantly, for yourself. What would you possibly have to gain meeting with her?
regretgirl Posted November 19, 2015 Author Posted November 19, 2015 What would you possibly have to gain meeting with her? Well there's nothing to gain... But we had a close bond before so it would feel so mean to turn her down. Idk!!!
Clinton Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 Well there's nothing to gain... But we had a close bond before so it would feel so mean to turn her down. Idk!!! What do you want to do? Go with that.
mhowe Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 He's a mommas boy and you are going to meet with the puppet master? Wow.
ParisPaulette Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 I read that and think, "That can't be good." Before you go to that meeting just send her a text or email or call her and ask her why she wants to meet with you. You know, take that mystery out of it. Something along the lines of, "Thanks for the invite, but I'm perplexed to hear from you after what happened and it's been three months. Can I ask why you want to see me?" It's not rude and it would give you a clue to what her mindset is. Personally, I think it's just damn weird and I would caution you to be very wary of what her intentions are. I can't even imagine why she'd do this and not just tell you and it almost comes across as she has some sort of agenda she doesn't want to tell you about until you're meeting. Hopefully in public, so if she goes off on you at least you can just get up and walk out. Also, ask yourself what you're going to do if she starts to attack you verbally about the break up or blames you for something her son is now doing. If it were a friendly social call wouldn't she have said something like, "I miss you and even though you and my son are no longer together I'd like to get lunch, would that be okay?" When someone says they want to meet with you and don't include things like that it typically isn't the best of news... That coupled with the fact it's been three months and not three days or three weeks just would make me wonder what her real angle would be.
HeartGoesOn Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 The night before we broke up, I was annoyed with him so of course he ran to his mother to tell her. She told me to get out of the house... ^ And, this is the woman you had a close bond with? Either way, he involved his mother in your relationship before and he's trying to do the same thing, yet again. Unless you'd like to go back for more, I'd continue to move forward.
regretgirl Posted November 19, 2015 Author Posted November 19, 2015 He's a mommas boy and you are going to meet with the puppet master? Wow. Lol right! The thing is... His opinion doesn't matter to me anymore, so if for some odd reason she tries to influence him about me it would have zero bearing on my life. I'm just confused about why she wants to meet in the first place. I'm guessing it's innocent and she just misses our companionship but who knows...
ThatwasThen Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 I'll be the first to formulate a guess as to why she wants to meet with you: I think she's going to ask you to take her son back and to forgive her for being the biznitch she was to you the night before he broke up with you. If you go to the lunch, let me know if I win a pizza or something for the right answer
shellyf62 Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 ^ And, this is the woman you had a close bond with? Either way, he involved his mother in your relationship before and he's trying to do the same thing, yet again. Unless you'd like to go back for more, I'd continue to move forward. I thought this too! She was rude to you telling you to get out of her house, so I wouldn't meet her. Also I think you dodged a huge bullet here. Your ex sounds like he gets "mummy" to fight his battles for him.
regretgirl Posted November 19, 2015 Author Posted November 19, 2015 Personally, I think it's just damn weird and I would caution you to be very wary of what her intentions are. I can't even imagine why she'd do this and not just tell you and it almost comes across as she has some sort of agenda she doesn't want to tell you about until you're meeting. Sorry! I didn't include the actual message. She said "Hi Sam hope all is well! I was wondering if you'd like to meet sometime this week?" Still doesn't give me any hints... But I don't exactly get a sinister vibe from it.
Starseed98 Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 Perhaps she feels guilty about the way she threw you out and would like to make amends for her own peace of mind. That may be as far fetched as the fact that she wants to meet with you.
mhowe Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 Lol right! The thing is... His opinion doesn't matter to me anymore, so if for some odd reason she tries to influence him about me it would have zero bearing on my life. I'm just confused about why she wants to meet in the first place. I'm guessing it's innocent and she just misses our companionship but who knows... You are kidding, right? Her last words to you were "get out of my house"
regretgirl Posted November 19, 2015 Author Posted November 19, 2015 You are kidding, right? Her last words to you were "get out of my house" Before that we never had one problem and had a very mother/daughter type of relationship. You may be right, but I think it's more likely that she'd apologize than continue an argument from months ago based on what I know of her personally.
shellyf62 Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 Her apology is too late. If she was sorry she would have called the next day, or day after, not 3 months later.
j.man Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 I still can't get over how weird that is. I mean, what mom texts their son's recent ex to "meet up?"
mhowe Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 Before that we never had one problem and had a very mother/daughter type of relationship. You may be right, but I think it's more likely that she'd apologize than continue an argument from months ago based on what I know of her personally. It's a pretty big exception. She threw you out of her home!
regretgirl Posted November 19, 2015 Author Posted November 19, 2015 It's a pretty big exception. She threw you out of her home! But if she wants nothing to do with me then why would she want to meet with me?! Hence my confusion.
mhowe Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 The chance of it being anything positive is slim to none.
regretgirl Posted November 19, 2015 Author Posted November 19, 2015 The chance of it being anything positive is slim to none. Hmm I don't think you're right but if I do decide to meet her, I'll update you all if you'd like. Anyone else have thoughts on this?
Starseed98 Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 You have piqued the interest of all the participants of this thread. It's a real head scratcher lol You don't owe her any money do you?
regretgirl Posted November 19, 2015 Author Posted November 19, 2015 You don't owe her any money do you? Nope, it was a clean break!
Dottieflanogon Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 I can't think of one scenario where it would be a good idea to meet up with her .I would say thanks but no thanks. Then again it's your call
HeartGoesOn Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 But if she wants nothing to do with me then why would she want to meet with me?! Hence my confusion. What are you hoping it will mean, and what are you expecting to accomplish by meeting his mother?
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