In the grey area with a guy – what to do?

[greta96]

Ok how about you take sex off the table, until he is 100% in. You tell him that the 2% missing is a whole load of BS (because it is), and that the NSA sex is over. Let's see if that 98% he's "in" is enough to keep him around.

Like everyone else, I suspect he is just using this percentage to keep you hanging and providing him with casual sex, and that you will stay at 2% forever (or until he meets a woman he really wants to be with).

And why are you even entertaining a dude who is stupid enough to use percentages with you??? For the future, please never disrespect yourself to this degree, and only give your heart and body to people who are 100% in.

[Sportster2005]

You are not in a grey area. It is black and white. He's not into you. Move on.

[SarahinDC]

You are not in a grey area. It is black and white. He's not into you. Move on.

 

If he's not into me then why did he reach back out after we "broke" up? Then to have casual conversation for almost 2 months before he even made a move? Don't guys just forget about the girl in that case and move on if they're really not into them?

[mhowe]

If by "reach out" you mean text....it takes no effort. Sheer boredom.

 

Two.months to make a move? He was moving on others at the same time.

[reinventmyself]

If he's not into me then why did he reach back out after we "broke" up? Then to have casual conversation for almost 2 months before he even made a move? Don't guys just forget about the girl in that case and move on if they're really not into them?

Don't know why exactly. But it's really common for exs to revisit to stroke their egos and for purely selfish reasons.

 

 

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[SoulTaker]

First of all - thank you everyone for responding. It's incredibly helpful to get your guys' input, as harsh as it can be, haha.

 

As far as the question of what I want.. ultimately I want a relationship. And I think I want it with him, but all of this back and forth has obviously got me questioning things. So now I'm even more confused but I think you guys are right and I need to take a cold hard look at what type of future I have with someone like this.

 

I know you guys are saying he's not that into me - which is pretty rough to hear - but I do think he's genuine when he said that he never felt a connection like the one he did for me. Regardless, I agree that he still believes there is something better out there. And honestly, I feel like a big part of this is that he's NEVER been in a relationship, and he's got major commitment issues.

 

Anyway, I am trying to figure out next steps because right now I don't even know where my head is at anymore. Oy...

 

Sarah, "click your heels 3 times" and wake up. You're being played, and it's not even a top-notched effort. The "98% there but there's 2% that's missing" statement is as lame as it gets. His friends are having a good time joking about how he's dragging you along. You need to regain your self-respect and move on.

[janut1]

WOW!! I can't believe how this is so like the guy I dated for a few months. He told me he didn't want a relationship, but contacted me daily to check in and see how I was, everything felt like a relationship except we would only meet each other every other week and he would stay the night. I was stupid enough to believe that he would change his mind one day and want to be in a relationship with me. I was so in love with him, never told him that, but I know he knew. He went dark after some lame excuse of a health problem. I started to let go and date again, and who pops up again on text, him!

 

Said he missed me, I was such a special lady and he cares deeply for me, blah blah blah I started to fall for it, but then he said he still was not ready for a relationship. Thank goodness I never slept with him again. My feelings were definitely still there for him though and I knew if he had said he wanted a relationship, I would of jumped. BUT I found out soon after he started to contact me again he had posted he was in a relationship with a women on Facebook and they had met before he contacted me and told me all that BS. I confronted him about it, and he just had more lame excuses and lies. He just used me till he found someone who he wanted a relationship with, and she has no idea Im sure that he reached out to me while they were starting to date. I was extremely hurt and angry too. He lied over and over again and I fell for it! He is still with her I've been told.

 

So, don't fall for it. He is saying whatever he thinks you want to hear to get laid. He knows you love him, he knows he can play you so he does. Get out before you get hurt. I really do not wish what I went through on anybody. It sucks to be used.