I like my close friend? (LONG)

[violetscott19]

So, I really like my best friend(call him Ben, also we're both 17) I've known him for three years now. And he had a girlfriend for the first two years of knowing him (an ex close friend, let's call her Danielle) and we sort of drifted for a while as they dated.. But nonetheless in the summer of 2014 we became closer again and in the last year/months of their relationship I started to develop feelings for him.. We have the same group of friends, and me and him normally go out on walks ourselves once or twice a week and just talk utter non sense. We were at a party at the weekend, and we were sat on the couch and he put his head on my shoulder, and cuddled in sort of (I done the same previously). Then I told him to move so that he was comfy and he put his arm around me and we were close to each others face and just making a lot of eye contact whilst we were talking and I was calling him an idiot (my way of flirting I guess?..). I don't know how to describe it, I got butterflies being around him.. after it, we got a taxi home and he said to get off a street before ours (don't know why) and we just spoke, laughed and when we were about to part ways he went to hug me and I ignored it by mistake! But then I pulled him in for a hug and he squeezed me tight..I really wanted to give him a peck on the cheek, but then again maybe I'm reading the signals wrong? He favoueites a lot of my tweets (I was told thats meant to mean something, like he's flirting or whatever idk) Who knows, he's never really like that.. we're the sort of best friends who don't talk every day, but wait until we catch up on one of our walks. I was there for him when he was getting over his girlfriend and other stuff. And he was there for my things.. I just don't know what to think, I think sometimes he subtly flirts but he is VERY shy, I'm just taking this the wrong way aren't I? I don't know how I'd tell him, rejection is my worst nightmare and I'm so frightened it compromises our friendship? What should I do? Am I reading the signals wrong..? My mum kinda thinks he likes me but idk and she says I should just go for it? I'm so scared of rejection and him being weird with me. My other friend (let's call her Megan) admitted that she liked him two years ago when he first started dating my other friend and he was decent about it.. but it was different as he didn't like her that much (as a person) but they're fine now! What should I do? I'm so bad at reading signals, we also had another party Saturday just there and I didn't really talk to him at the beginning of the night and eventually I did, told him he looked good, and a little while on he stole my phone and was teasing me and ran out the room with it, then later on in the night me and friends were dancing I got pretty tipsy, my other (girl) friends were telling him to dance, then I did and he eventually came up. Then later on when the night ended, we were all moving out the door and he was behind me and grabbed onto my hips and kinda guided me the way out & I held onto one of his hands as he did so, nd he kept checking up on me seeing If I was okay cos I was a bit down during the night. Anyway we both decided to stay at my friends after that and, I was tired. Got changed and spoke to some people at the after party (comfort over beauty am I right?) And then spoke to Ben ahain, other girls were sitting with him and stuff but he wasn't doin anything back, then he sat next to me at one point and cuddled into me and put his head on my chest and I rested mine on top, he adjusted so he was comfy and we stayed like that for a while and spoke. He wasn't drunk, he barely drinks. But then as I was about to make a move my drunken friend decided to lip block the pair of us and told us to move so that she could sleep on that sofa. Throughout the night 3 of my friends just kept on telling me to go for it, and my best friend Serena and her boyfriend told me that he likes me saying "you know when a boy likes a girl I can tell! Just kiss him!!" I need advice? Am I picking up signals wrong? Did I mention he is the worst at picking up on hints too?

 

Sorry for the length, just it kinda hurts I guess not knowing or doing anything

[mhowe]

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