lizzy1 Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 This is my first time being in a relationship, so to start off with I didn't know what was a right or wrong relationship. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. We are the same age, 17. He is a very big boy and I am much smaller than him and fragile. I've never met a bigger liar than my boyfriend and that is what grew him to be this way towards me. He says he does what he does because he loves me but in no way does that make sense, it just hurts my feelings even more than they're hurt. he abuses me verbally and physcially and for some reason nothing he does pushes me away from him. (mind you he is very manipulative after these tantrums) He abuses me verbally in the way of calling me every disgusting name under the sun, telling me how useless i am and how i should kill myself etc. He physically abuses me by holding me down by the neck and wrists, sometimes even spraining my wrist a little. He has put all his weight on me through his arms just pushing on my face while i was laying down, i thought my cheek would have bruised from it but it didn't. He smacks me so hard and has even head butted me. He tells me the reason he hurts me is because he loves me and cares about me (as i said before) and because his father was abusive to his mother and himself. There is a lot more to say but I'm just so afraid of what the future could bring and need an explanation to why i'm being the idiot i am and staying with him. He lies, abuses and has cheated in quite a few ways, only one he admitted to because I had proof but before I showed him proof he told me how much of an idiot I am to think he'd do that to me blah blah blah. I hate myself for letting this happen, I am so ashamed.
greta96 Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 Instead of being ashamed and acting like a victim, how about you get angry and take action? I get it, you're a teenager and you were a child when you two got together, but this is not an excuse. If anything, your young age should be a motivation to do something to end this disaster of a "relationship" and put your life back together before it gets ruined, or even ended, by some schmuck. You already know this is abuse, so instead of taking it, get out of there. Where are your parents? My parents didn't even allow me to date until I was 18, and I'm glad they had that rule. Talk to your parents and let them know you're being beaten and abused, they should be able to help you and protect you, but you also have to be willing to co-operate and listen to them. It's all in your hands. Do you want to live the life of a victim? Then stay with him. Do you want a good, peaceful life surrounded by love and joy? Then do the right thing by reporting the thug and enlisting the help of anyone you can, to protect you and keep you from making the same mistakes twice. It's really as simple as that. Talk to an adult and tell them what's going on asap.
Blue_Skirt Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 Watch this TED talks video on YouTube: "Leslie Morgan Steiner: Why domestic violence victims don't leave".
dreamyjane Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 Run away from him ! You should really talk with therapist! I mean it! You´re only 17 years old. You will meet guy who will be loving, caring person. Nothing from this isn´t your fault. Don´t stay in unhealthy relationship You deserve someone who will treat you right! I know, you are afraid of future...but I think, deep down in your heart you know how will look your future with him. No, it won´t be any happy ending with him! Focus on your pain! Nothing is more important in your life than you! Does your family know about this? You can talk to them and beg them if they can care about you and help you to be without your abusive boyfriend. It´s not something what you can do on your own. I know, you´re ashamed of your situation...but it´s not your fault. Your abusive boyfriend should be ashamed of his behavior, but he isn´t. Talk to your family and discuss your situation with therapist. First step is to find help and run away from him. He´s not worthy your love...and true love looks really differently. He´s hurting you psychically and physically Please, do yourself favour and leave him! You´re only 17 years old, you will find a great man after leaving him!
dias Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 The next time you should call the police . Press charges against him and ask for restraining order .
melancholy123 Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 He is a violent abuser and he's not going to change. You need to get away from him NOW. Not tomorrow, but NOW. He doesnt love you, he's a massive bully and one day he's going to really hurt you or possibly kill you. This is not what love is about, not even close. Tell your parents, go to the police, get a restraining order. Reclaim your life, you dont deserve what's going on.
DoF Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 Remove yourself from that environment ASAP and never look back. ANY men or ANYTHING that uses FORCE on you = stay far away. Those are the worst kind of people. DO NOT REMAIN.
aCuore Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 If you're wondering why you're staying, I can understand perfectly. I stayed four years in a physically and sexually abusive relationship. If you ever wonder if his physical abuse with worsen, I promise you, it will. There was a time within my own relationship where someone heard my screams and broke into the room to stop my ex-boyfriend and if it wasn't for them, and the final decision to leave, I would not be here today. Given your age, I'm sure you don't live with him, so you're not dependent upon him that sense, or even financially, nor do you have children with him or are married. This means that the only thing keeping you around is the emotional aspect. You may be staying around because you care about him due to the "honeymoon stage". You see, after physical abuse, your abuser may feel guilty and because emotions are so intense after the abuse, when he comes to you with his loving doting, it feels much sweeter. More over, the power he exerts over you may compel you to stay either out of fear or that he's forced some concept of a twisted sense of devotion to him under that physical conditioning. Regardless, talk to your parents, call the authorities, tell your friends, but please, tell SOMEONE. It WILL get worse, and he doesn't love you - he says this to justify his actions to himself, not to you. He is crazy and unstable. If it helps, right this very instant, tell yourself all of this: that you are better than this, that you deserve to be happy, and no man that loves you would ever lay a hand on you. You know your worth, now shake this weights off. Tell yourself you don't love him and don't you worry about how leaving him will affect him. Your happiness is a long way away from where you are now, so go leave and find it.
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