tarrel Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 it's annoying because she has a boyfriend and constantly flirts with me everyday with the smiling and touching and asking what my facebook is along with asking where I live. Now since I am attracted to her I like the attention but it gets to be somewhat frustrating because I would prefer it came from a woman who is single. Just can't understand why a woman who has a man feels the need to give me this type of attention every day. Then one day last week I was walking down the hall and she was just smiling but not saying anything and I was very uncomfortable and wasn;t sure what to say. Does this attention sound weird to anyone else?
HeartGoesOn Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 I wouldn't attempt to understand her behaviour, yet I would tell myself that she has a boyfriend, and that's all I need to know. With that said, be careful to keep your personal life separate, and away from the workplace.
tarrel Posted November 17, 2015 Author Posted November 17, 2015 I wouldn't attempt to understand her behaviour, yet I would tell myself that she has a boyfriend, and that's all I need to know. With that said, be careful to keep your personal life separate, and away from the workplace. This type of attention at a job from any woman is brand new and I was caught off caught. I just want us to get to the point where we are just acting regular around each other and no flirting or touching from her.
Helpexpressme Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 Act normal from your side, and if she tries it on, just remind her she has a boyfriend. If she tries to touch you, just ask her to keep her hands to herself.
tarrel Posted November 17, 2015 Author Posted November 17, 2015 Act normal from your side, and if she tries it on, just remind her she has a boyfriend. If she tries to touch you, just ask her to keep her hands to herself. It's been light touching like my shoulder and arm while she is telling me something
Willywagtail Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 It's been light touching like my shoulder and arm while she is telling me something So move your body slightly away, then she'll get the message.
greta96 Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 Could it be that she's not flirting at all, she is just being friendly? Some men out there perceive the tiniest amount of attention from a woman as flirting, when the reality is that some women are just overly friendly and have a relatively small personal space. Maybe she's not being careful with how friendly she is, exactly because she knows everyone is aware she's taken so she doesn't think her gestures could be taken as flirtation. Her asking you about your Facebook points to that too, she's aware that if you two become FB friends you would see her whole relationship with her guy, so it's not like she's trying to hide anything. On the contrary, she is being open. Believe it or not, us women are capable of being just friends with guys, without ulterior motives. She may truly like you as a person, a friend, but that doesn't mean she wants to jump your bones or that she would like to date you or have anything romantic with you. Just some food for thought, because it's happened to me many times to be friendly to guys I liked (strictly as platonic friends, I would have never wanted anything with them beyond a simple friendship) and for them to think I was coming on to them, which created awkward situations. To me, it seems like you're making more out of it because you are attracted to her and would like it to be more. From where I stand, I am pretty sure you have nothing to worry about, you're safe at the workplace.
tarrel Posted November 17, 2015 Author Posted November 17, 2015 I guess it's the way she looks at me. Like last week she was smiling at me and not saying anything which was kind of uncomfortable. See that's not friendly attention lol so lately I been trying to keep a distance from her
Blue_Skirt Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 Next time if she starts talking about something which is not work related, you simply say : ”Listen, I get paid here to do my job, so that’s what I am going to do for the next couple of hours and I would like to do that without interruptions all the time.” If she touches you and you don’t like it tell her that. “I would appreciate if you could keep your hands where they belong and that is not my shoulder/arm”. If she does not get it, you say: “You have a boyfriend”. Now I agree with Greta that there are women who are simply friendly. I have to be honest that I tend to touch people’s arm or shoulder sometimes. I think I have developed a good sense over the years for that. Because I would not do that with everyone. I am working in an international environment with different nationalities. I don’t do that to get attention or to flirt, but I will use that sometimes as a tool to give someone an affirmation, like: “See, I know you would manage this / would be able to do this” and then touch their arm. I cannot remember to have seen a reaction that someone was uncomfortable with that. But then you never know, your thread got me thinking.
lostandhurt Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 Some people need the attention. They feel like if they don't have the attention of someone where ever they go they are not handsome or pretty so they seek out the attention. Could be she is a cheater as well and is looking to hook up with you. Either way it is best to be respectful but keep your distance. If she talks to you ask her about her bf. "So, where does you bf work?, Really that sounds interesting I would like to meet him sometime" Basically burst her bubble by bringing up her bf. Even if it is harmless flirting in her opinion it can cause a lot of grief at work. Lost
Helpexpressme Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 I knew a lady who was super touchy/feeley when she talks to you. She'd put her hand on my shoulder and get up real close. But I put that down to her making sure she had my full attention. It was her way of control in a way. It used to make me feel super uncomfortable. But she was a nice lady and I never said anything. Anyways it could be that, but the smiling at you from afar just feels a bit like she's leering at you, so I would keep my distance aswell.
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