everafter13 Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 I've dated a man off and on for a few years. We've had honesty and commitment issues... During an 'off' time, he casually dated someone else. They stopped dating after a short time; he says it was because she wanted to take it to an intimate level, and he did not. A couple of years later, we are still dating, with no commitment. Though they still spend time hanging out - dinner, movies, etc., he insists they are only friends. I believe that he may see it that way, but I don't think she does. Though the 3 of us have been in the same place together numerous times, she avoids me as much as possible and is seldom more than civil if we cross paths. He refuses to talk with her to clarify that they are only friends, saying that he doesn't see the point in "rubbing it in." I've dealt with this for a couple of years now ... but today I saw something that got me thinking. She's been working on a craft project as a gift for her mom (mom doesn't live locally, and he hardly knows her), and I saw that she had hand-painted - not on the backside, but on the visible part of the project - "from [her name] & [his name] 2015," as if they are a couple. I know there are a plethora of possible explanations for this... what do you think?
Blue_Skirt Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 what do you think? I would stay away from both of them and look for a man who knows what he wants. plethora And I think I learned a new word just now, English is not my first language.
DancingFool Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 Why are you wasting your time, life, and energy on this? Dump him for good. Realize you deserve a man who is all in, as opposed to this on/off, quasi whatever, three way something or other nonsense. Realize that you will never have what you actually want unless you find the courage to drop this non-relationship nonsense with this guy and actually be single and available for a healthy relationship with a man who knows he wants YOU. For as long as you keep sticking around in this mess, no healthy man will ever give you even half a chance. So be brave, clean house, move on. Cut him and her out, block them. Treat the whole thing like a cancer you need to chop out of your life, because emotionally, that's exactly what this amounts to. It's crippling you and there is no need for you to allow this to continue.
Dottieflanogon Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 I would move on,being on and off over the years is not a sign of a healthy relationship.It's pretty clear why he won't commit to you. He doesn't love you.Forget about this on-off, half assed semi whatever you have with him. If you want a real relationship, there are other men that will be emotionally available to you and treat you the way you deserve to be treated
dave_1966 Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 If you barely see each other, and she avoids you, how come you were able to see something as intimate as a 'craft project' for the two of them? I assume she was doing this at her home, which I can't imagine you ever going round to. Explain?
HeartGoesOn Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 I know there are a plethora of possible explanations for this... what do you think? I think the only explanation is, he's lying through his teeth. The writing is on the wall, and they're not passing the time playing tiddly winks, they're sleeping together. This guy is sleazy, and hopefully you'll walk away with your head held high.
ParisPaulette Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 He's telling her exactly the same things he's telling you. He's keeping you both dangling on a string and having fun with his harem. Stay if you don't want a relationship with someone who is honest and committed, because this gent sure isn't. Otherwise time to bail and stop wasting time. And can I just say it boggles my mind that this guy could run this con on two people who know about each other for two fricking years? How is it possible good men go wanting for a relationship while this guy runs the world's biggest BS contest on two of you? I just don't get it at all. Is he super rich or super good-looking or super anything, what's the draw here? I can't imagine anyone being that worth hanging around for two years swallowing the whole "We're just friends who go out to movies and dinner date night without you, dear. But it's you I really love." Incredible. Maybe try dating a man instead of a con artist?
everafter13 Posted November 17, 2015 Author Posted November 17, 2015 I never said any of it made sense…
everafter13 Posted November 18, 2015 Author Posted November 18, 2015 If you barely see each other, and she avoids you, how come you were able to see something as intimate as a 'craft project' for the two of them? I assume she was doing this at her home, which I can't imagine you ever going round to. Explain? She was working on it in the shop where he works.
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