LC8328 Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 I have a circle of friends I talk to often, and one of them started having arguments with a couple of others. This one friend Carla, took every single thing that was said to her and turned into something personal and started attacking them back, saying she felt attacked by them, etc. But the things that were said to her wasn't mean or petty but about a project they were working on. I have tried explaining this to her in a diplomatic and nice way, but she didn't understand. It was like she just wanted to be angry. She was causing so much of a ruckus that she was asked to not participate in the project, and now she's saying on her social media that she doesn't get why these things always happen to her and is always a victim, etc. I have tried to help as much as I could and have stayed up nights crying about it. I think I'm almost over it (I'm the type who just wants everyone to get along), but I guess I wanted to ask you guys who know, what does being bi-polar mean exactly? I know it has something to do with moods. I want to know if this is normal behavior for someone who has it and if I could have handled it a different way?
WithLove Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 It doesn't sound like bipolar. It just sounds like someone was throwing a tantrum. I'm bipolar. It can mean different things. Oftentimes, you swing from one extreme to the other, very quickly, sometimes several times. Happy to sad, angry to happy. There are levels of it too, though. Spectrums. Some are on the lower spectrum, where they have mood swings but never or rarely experience many "highs", the "manic" portion of the disorder. Some only experience those portions. It's a very confusing disorder. That's why it's hard to diagnose and hard to find a medication that fits for everyone. Your friend just sounds like she was having a tantrum for no reason.
LC8328 Posted November 16, 2015 Author Posted November 16, 2015 *Deep sigh of relief* Thank you. That makes me feel better, that I did what I could. Phew
DoF Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 Labels are irrelevant. This person is simply incapable of handling things properly (it seems). I find MANY people in certain situations act like 3 year old with a tantrum. I accept that it's a common human trait at this point.
LC8328 Posted November 16, 2015 Author Posted November 16, 2015 Yes, I am getting the feeling it is just her. Which makes me glad that I probably handled it the best I could, but I'm sad for her. Still, I can't solve all the worlds problems. I have my own lol
WithLove Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 You did the same thing anyone would do. Tried to be respectful and understanding. But when people act like that (even if they don't have any medical condition), you just have to move forward with whatever you're doing, even if it means leaving them behind.
DoF Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 Yes, I am getting the feeling it is just her. Which makes me glad that I probably handled it the best I could, but I'm sad for her. Still, I can't solve all the worlds problems. I have my own lol Thus I wonder why you stayed up late crying? Don't worry about other people or things you can't control. It's worthless and irrelevant. Waste of your time, health and sleep..... Personally, I would've reevaluated my friendship with such person and quickly would've demoted her to "not friend" (no announcement needed, just no future actions/hanging out etc). Or apply, everyone deserves a 2nd chance but not 3rd. Talk to her and tell her how you don't appreciate her blowing up and acting the way she did (in a none offensive/friendly manner). Make it clear that you won't put up with that in the future as a friend. Personally I wouldn't bother, cause I've been in your shoes and people like that are simply impossible to deal with and simply don't deserve a 2nd chance.
HeartGoesOn Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 CML...Have she been diagnosed by a medical professional as being bi-polar? The reason I ask is, there are times when the term "bi-polar" is used much too often, when there is no evidence of being professionally diagnosed.
Seraphim Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 Part of my father's expression of bipolar is extreme paranoia and in almost every situation displaying himself as the victim. My dad was diagnosed bipolar 49 years ago and re diagnosed many times since. He is very severe though and exhibits extreme symptoms. Not every person is the same. I guess it would depend on her type of bipolarity and severity.
Realitynut Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 Also people with Borderline Personality Disorders are sometimes diagnosed with Bi-Polar. They take things as a personal attack on them....even tho it is very slight. They crash and burn. Sometimes it's just a 'look'... Have you noticed this about your friend before? Or is this a one time deal? If you guys are in Jr. high....it could be just your teen hormones kicking in. (btw...my name is Carla....maybe we're just extremely moody! lol)
dias Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 Doesn't look like bi-polar . Sounds more like a blend of silliness and stubbornness .
DoF Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 Doesn't look like bi-polar . Sounds more like a blend of silliness and stubbornness . To me is sounds like a spoiled child. Selfish/arrogant and self centered. lack of discipline in child's life will do that.......
LC8328 Posted November 16, 2015 Author Posted November 16, 2015 Thus I wonder why you stayed up late crying? Don't worry about other people or things you can't control. It's worthless and irrelevant. Waste of your time, health and sleep..... Personally, I would've reevaluated my friendship with such person and quickly would've demoted her to "not friend" (no announcement needed, just no future actions/hanging out etc). Or apply, everyone deserves a 2nd chance but not 3rd. Talk to her and tell her how you don't appreciate her blowing up and acting the way she did (in a none offensive/friendly manner). Make it clear that you won't put up with that in the future as a friend. Personally I wouldn't bother, cause I've been in your shoes and people like that are simply impossible to deal with and simply don't deserve a 2nd chance. Why did I stay up crying?...good question lol. I have been so emotional lately. I think I take these things very personally even though the 'squabble' had nothing to do with me. And I agree with you. Talking to Hubby a few hours ago and he pretty much said the same thing. We have our family and other things to worry about, and if it were one of my siblings or something like that it would be different perhaps. Yeah, I'm not even going to talk to her. I'm pretty much done. If I try to talk to her I don't think she'd get it, for whatever reason. She'd just think I was attacking her. I had told her even, that "when you have friends especially groups that you work with, you have to be able to work with each other. You have to be able to take constructive criticism and people have to feel free to talk about it with you." SHE DOESN'T GET IT. It was so maddening. I think I'm ok now though. The venting here helps lol.
LC8328 Posted November 16, 2015 Author Posted November 16, 2015 CML...Have she been diagnosed by a medical professional as being bi-polar? The reason I ask is, there are times when the term "bi-polar" is used much too often, when there is no evidence of being professionally diagnosed. I honestly don't know. She very well could be saying it without being diagnosed, which would be awful because there are people who really do suffer from it. This circle of friends I've only known for about a year and just for work, and as for Carla I've only known her a handful of months. So no big loss on my part. I can feel good about moving on because I really tried to help.
LC8328 Posted November 16, 2015 Author Posted November 16, 2015 Also people with Borderline Personality Disorders are sometimes diagnosed with Bi-Polar. They take things as a personal attack on them....even tho it is very slight. They crash and burn. Sometimes it's just a 'look'... Have you noticed this about your friend before? Or is this a one time deal? If you guys are in Jr. high....it could be just your teen hormones kicking in. (btw...my name is Carla....maybe we're just extremely moody! lol) lol! I haven't known her very long, a handful of months perhaps. For the first few months she seemed pretty 'normal' (sorry for the use of that word, it's a little offensive sometimes but you know what I mean). I know she had issues at home too and we were never very close, so if this is a trait she always had I suppose it was possible that she's hidden it or I just hadn't looked closely enough. No, we're adults, at least physically, lol
LC8328 Posted November 16, 2015 Author Posted November 16, 2015 Yes, thanks guys. I feel loads better. It helps when other people tell you you're right lol Seriously though, I care about her but honestly not enough to invest so emotionally in her.
DoF Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 Why did I stay up crying?...good question lol. I have been so emotional lately. For whatever it's worth, running on regular basis will help you with mental stability and strength. Sounds like you might benefit greatly.
brilyn027 Posted November 26, 2015 Posted November 26, 2015 Bipolar disorder, also known as manic-depressive illness, is a brain disorder that causes unusual shifts in mood, energy, activity levels, and the ability to carry out daily tasks. Symptoms of bipolar disorder can be severe. Sounds like she's throwing a fit and needs to learn how to not to take things so personal. I know people who are Bipolar and this is not it. Is she young?
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