sueseek908 Posted November 15, 2015 Posted November 15, 2015 I'm really frustrated and confused, and I think I'm not the only one. On one hand I think my parents make it harder on themselves, on the other...Am I just overreacting? I've begun to spiral into negative thinking, but I'll give details as to why. My question is how do I make this situation better, and has this kind of thing happened to anyone before? Did it get better? Please, we're all pretty bummed. First, I moved back home with parents to make income, get some stability because I had issues with my mental health, and really just relax before moving elsewhere. So, I move back , I'm 26 with a degree, no car, and my family and I live in a town of around 200 people now. Yes. I have a job at the moment in a clothing store, saving up for my first car, first goal. They wanted to move from where we were living to this place because of the heavy snow, which I didn't mind but they are retired and couldn't afford to live there anymore anyways, so more power to them. I was hurt, because it's a travel destination town, beautiful, not great opportunity, but it was comfortable and I knew it for the last 20 years. Anyways, they move an hour away to a town known for being sketchy and isolated..but its a bit cheaper. 200 people, yeah. They like the isolated part though, and there is better weather. No police force nearby, takes 45 minutes to get one, but there's a sherrif. So..It's out there. It's an hour from the city in the other direction. They don't have hardly any money so they had a long time to look at houses to afford, and instead of looking into more safer areas and less rural in my opinion, they looked at houses in this isolated area. 90% of them were cheap but run down. Ones that were nIcer they said were in "too populated" of areas. They wanted to at least be near the.bigger city for the educational pursuits, but didn't want to life IN it. In my opinion, I knew that this pickiness would get them in trouble. But also, I didn't know how they would go about it differently, they were so broke and wanted to make the move soon. This is their life, they fix things up, but not like they have money, they struggle. They always struggle. And they don't ask for help. But they complain. If people offer help, why complain, right? They are told the house the eventually buy has some problems but most things work and if they have issues we have been told about them before. We move here, our car gets stolen. That was a few weeks ago. Granted, it was left overnight for a few weeks in a not safe area (a no brainer to me). We have one vehicle now. Our house..the sink is broken (they didn't know that), dishwasher is broken, shower and tub see broken, heater is broken. I heard them question if they made a mistake. The frustration I feel is that they can't afford to have any of this repaired right now, and family has offered to help with money (a no-brainer) so I live in this not bad but falling apart place with these stubborn parents who won't accept money for help, yet complain and get depressed, and I want to save up and find a studio back where we moved from for myself. I am over this situation. Not sure if I am able to do that though, I wanted to stay with them. How would you guys deal with something like that? I know many of you would say to me to work hard and help them pay, but I.have literally tried to do something for myself for years for once, I need to grow, and I love them but I have a life too and I.can't spend it in this depressing situation, we are supposed to be happy and nurture each other but I feel as though they knowingly did this to themselves. What do you guys think? Everyday I think what next, a tree falls, we lose our dog, someone dies..?..I imagine these negative scenarios and wish I had the lives of some of my friends whose parents have money...hate to say that.... I don't want to be a negative person but I am, everything keeps getting worse. I want them to be happy, and living well. I also never want to end up in their situation. I never want to grow up and have their life. Can't believe I said it.
jennylove Posted November 15, 2015 Posted November 15, 2015 Di not take on their problems. They chose to buy a house, a house with these problems. Did they not get an inspection?? Either way, not your problem. If you can move away and get roomates or a studio, do it. I feel like this situation is not going to have a positive outcome for you in any way whatsoever.
mhowe Posted November 15, 2015 Posted November 15, 2015 I think denigrating them for living within their means is very cruel of you. You moved in with them because you can't afford to live on your own. Be part of the solution, not part of the problem.
sueseek908 Posted November 15, 2015 Author Posted November 15, 2015 No that's what I want to make sure I say, I'm not angry at them, I am happy that they are out of where they didn't want to be I'm just angry at their stubbornness I guess, their choices that lead them to this point. Sorry, I eanted, but when I day I don't want to be like them I don't mean their kindness or their perseverance but, like I said, the choices that lead them here. I can help them, sure, but my confusion was I am also an adult who needs to leave home, and on my income, I am alreadg paying all of my own bills and their rent. It comes down to making a choice whether to help them out more or go out on my own. I'm not stable financially yet to do so right now either though so..
mhowe Posted November 15, 2015 Posted November 15, 2015 What happened to the money from the sale of their home?
jennylove Posted November 15, 2015 Posted November 15, 2015 If you are not financially stable to move on your own or to help with the things that need fixed, then, what exactly is the concern?
rosephase Posted November 15, 2015 Posted November 15, 2015 You are paying their rent? Or you are paying rent to them for living in their house? Taking money from family isn't always simple, I can understand a lot of reasons a person would choose to live with parts of their house broken than accept money from someone. It sounds like they just made a rough and unplanned for transition. It sounds like they did put a lot of thought into their move (close to a city but not IN a city, this neighborhood over that neighborhood) and I can understand you personally being frustrated with moving to a place you don't like as much and into a house with a lot of things that are broken, and listening to your parents struggle with their situation... but that is what you have to live with to have the relative financial ease of living with your parents.
melancholy123 Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 If you really dont want to be there, then move out. Get that studio, at a price you can afford, and work on bettering your life. I understand helping parents but sometimes parents dont want to help themselves.
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