Crush on boyfriends friend? Please help!

[spinachmonster]

Hi, I'd really like some help or advice please as I don't understand my own feelings and I'm driving myself crazy. This is going to long though as I need to give some context.

 

When I first met my boyfriend 'B' 4 years ago he had a friend: 'S'. Not only did I not find 'S' attractive, I didn't even like him as a person, in fact I hated him. To make a really long story slightly shorter we all had a massive fight and nor 'B' or I spoke to him for over 2 years. This fight only cemented my dislike of him. Then on Friday we all met again, as we knew we would, at a mutual friends wedding where both 'B' and 'S' were groomsmen. We all sorted everything out and the argument has been put in the past where it belongs but something strange has happened. I not only found 'S' attractive but I seem to have developed a massive crush on him over the space of one night. We spent a lot of time together over the night just talking and apologising for previous behaviour and I had a fantastic night just being with him. In fact during the party I found myself seeking him out simply because I wanted to be around him. Whilst I don't dislike him anymore I still don't particularly like him as a person either but for some reason I found him incredibly attractive.

 

Not only do I find him sexually attractive but I can't stop thinking about him. Over the past two days I havent been able to get him off my mind, I've been fantasising about him and I keep trying to think of ways to see him again; not to try act on these feelings but to simply be in his presence. I have a counting down the seconds til I see him, butterflies in my stomach crush on him - the exact same way I felt when I first met 'B'.

 

It's not that I don't love my boyfriend, I do but lately we've been arguing a lot, and he doesn't treat me as well as he used to and it has been starting to bother and upset me. It feels as if he doesn't care about me as much as he used to and it seems as if the spark has gone in the relationship. I still love him so why do I feel this way about another man? Is this normal? What do I do?

[indea08]

Please learn from my mistakes....I've been there....force yourself to forget "S" altogether. Getting in the situation of caring about two people at the same time is AWFUL. Just force yourself to think of something else when he comes to mind, like your first kiss with "B". Please trust me, don't go there.

[Dottieflanogon]

The excitement of something new could be a factor in why you're crushing on your boyfriend's friend. You're comfortable emotionally with your boyfriend, but the newest wore off. I'd say this is normal but something you need to address with yourself. Are you still attracted to your boyfriend? Do you feel as if your attraction to his best friend currently hinders or will hinder your relationship? I mean it's human nature to be attracted to other people other than your bf , as long you don't think much of it nor feel the urge to act upon it. If that's the case ,then you should end the relationship