lajavanaise Posted November 14, 2015 Posted November 14, 2015 As some of you may know my story, my ex fiancé left me after giving birth to his baby for some other woman he just met. I took an attorney and now he can come and pick her up Sunday and bring her back after 4 hours. So there's actually no need for any kind of contact. Last time he came and pick her up for the first time he was sending me pictures of the baby saying how "all is well x" and she's sleeping like an angel x" that's not negative contact, but I don't need it. When he brought her back he wanted to kiss me on the cheek and I refused. He got really angry about that and sent me a text that same evening saying how I didn't want any contact, and how he is going to tell the Judge that ... I never replied and he even sent the same text to my mom complaining about how I didn't want to give him a kiss !!! I have no idea what makes him think I owe him any kind of contact expect when it comes to our baby, and even then, he knows when to come and pick her up and bring her back. So not much need for texting anyway. Now he'll come and pick her up tomorrow, but I'll leave it up to my mom to give him the baby and take her when he brings her back, so I don't have to see him. I want to go extremly LC, only when do I respond ? He threatens to tell his attorney when I don't text him back ... But I don't want to have contact unless I really have to !
mhowe Posted November 14, 2015 Posted November 14, 2015 Who cares if he tells his attorney. Both the attorney and judge will laugh in his face. He has no legal right to be in contact with you. Only his child.
Fudgie Posted November 14, 2015 Posted November 14, 2015 mhowe is right. He has no legal backing here. His only right is to be in contact with his child, not you. I would keep his texts but not respond to ones that aren't directly related to your child like "what time can I come by to get ?"
lajavanaise Posted November 14, 2015 Author Posted November 14, 2015 I'm kinda scared he is going to use against me that I don't want to have a good contact with him ... I just want a decent contact for the baby, but nothing more, he can't expect that after what he's done.
Blue_Skirt Posted November 14, 2015 Posted November 14, 2015 I'm kinda scared he is going to use against me that I don't want to have a good contact with him ... ???? If you would have such a good contact with him, you probably would still be together, right? Just make sure you communicate in a civilized way for the sake of your child, that’s all.
mhowe Posted November 14, 2015 Posted November 14, 2015 He can't use it against you. That's our point.
HeartGoesOn Posted November 14, 2015 Posted November 14, 2015 What advice has your attorney given you regarding this issue?
Cheetarah Posted November 14, 2015 Posted November 14, 2015 I told you about this in your other thread. I suggest you write in an email or text, somewhere you can have a paper trail, that you only wish to communicate about issues surrounding your daughter. Don't further explain yourself, don't bite into any bait he may throw at you that puts you on the defensive or makes you feel as though you must answer. If it is not about your daughter you are under no obligation to answer it.
ParisPaulette Posted November 14, 2015 Posted November 14, 2015 I don't know, but maybe a text, "Thanks, I'll be sure to go over this with my attorney and we can all discuss it at our next court date." BUT first check with your attorney how he wants you to handle it. Also let your attorney know he's been trying to put his hands on you and then threatening you about not letting him get handsy with you. Keep his emails as documentation and show them to the attorney and tell HIM your worries and concerns. If need be they'll work something out, so he's not able to harass you which is what that is.
catfeeder Posted November 15, 2015 Posted November 15, 2015 Good--let him spend the money to tell his attorney that you didn't want him to kiss you. If your Mom is willing to act as a go-between, then the only contact he 'needs' is with her. If your mom doesn't want that position, ask your attorney for advice on how to limit the contact. You're too smart to be manipulated by this guy by now, aren't you?
lajavanaise Posted November 17, 2015 Author Posted November 17, 2015 I'm just seeing a side of him that I have never seen before, it's silly that I even worry about it, but I just do !!! He came to pick up our daughter on Sunday, I wasn't at home. He sent me a text message saying "he is on his way " I didn't open the message ... A couple of hours later he sends me a picture of our daughter all dressed up. I didn't reply .. I don't feel I needed to respond to those ? Sending he is on his way, I don't need to know that, the court has set up a time and day, so him sending me he is on his way every week seems ridiculous. And that picture ... Yeah maybe he's trying to be nice, but after all the hurt he's caused me, I don't really care anymore. Should I respond when he sends me he is on his way ? Like a short text ? Or did I do good to ignore him ? Thank you.
Fudgie Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 Ignore him. As you said, the court has set up dates and times, so you don't need this info. He is trying to get a rise/reaction out of you. So by ignoring him, you are denying him what he's looking for and you are discouraging the behaviour (good).
lajavanaise Posted November 17, 2015 Author Posted November 17, 2015 Ignore him. As you said, the court has set up dates and times, so you don't need this info. He is trying to get a rise/reaction out of you. So by ignoring him, you are denying him what he's looking for and you are discouraging the behaviour (good). Thank you for your response. Maybe not a very important question, but why would he try to get a rise out of me ? And by sending the picture ? I ask because he even sent a picture to my mom. I don't know what he is trying to do, but I think it's clear that I don't want contact unless it's really necessary. But I don't want him telling the Judge I ignore any kind of communication either.
Helpexpressme Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 You need some contact with him because it's just ridiculous if you don't. You know what they say, you brought a baby into this world together, so you will have to figure out contact together. How is he meant to do all the communication through your mother??????
mhowe Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 Thank you for your response. Maybe not a very important question, but why would he try to get a rise out of me ? And by sending the picture ? I ask because he even sent a picture to my mom. I don't know what he is trying to do, but I think it's clear that I don't want contact unless it's really necessary. But I don't want him telling the Judge I ignore any kind of communication either. The judge will not give a rat's behind if he is told you don't respond to texts. The baby is available when he shows up. That is the limit of your involvement.;
lajavanaise Posted November 17, 2015 Author Posted November 17, 2015 You need some contact with him because it's just ridiculous if you don't. You know what they say, you brought a baby into this world together, so you will have to figure out contact together. How is he meant to do all the communication through your mother?????? Seriously ? Maybe if you knew my story you would understand, like most people on here say: "the baby is available on times and days he is supposed to pick her up" he decided to break up with me, he gets no privileges.
Helpexpressme Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 Seriously ? Maybe if you knew my story you would understand, like most people on here say: "the baby is available on times and days he is supposed to pick her up" he decided to break up with me, he gets no privileges. It's not really a privilege to talk to you, so much as organizing the baby. You need to take the high road seriously.
Fudgie Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 You need to tell him specifically "Please do not contact me unless you are going to be late or not able to show up, or regarding pertinent health information regarding the baby. If you contact me about anything else other than these things, your message will get ignored. Thank you." You do not need to talk to him outside of those circumstances. The dates/times are set up. That's it. He's trying to get a reaction out of you. Some people just want attention, either negative or positive. You do not need to be acknowledging him.
catfeeder Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 I don't know what you're looking for that hasn't been repeatedly answered already. You're not obligated to respond to the guy's brain farts. If you don't believe us, why keep asking us? Why not just ask your attorney?
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.