We broke up because he needed to do some soul searching.

[momo5]

The background:

 

My bf and I broke up 3 weeks ago and we have been NC ever since after what I presumed was a good 6 years of relationship. I was the dumpee and was taken aback by the break up because I thought we were fine and we were planning to get married. (denial I know) However, my parents never approved of our relationship because of the differences in religion. He broke up with me saying he needed to sort himself out. He just got a new job and was pretty stressed up. His reason was that he needed to do some soul searching because he wasn't happy and that he felt we were not compatible religion wise. As for religion wise we were not of the same religion but I have been learning and accepting the religion on my own when with him, otherwise, why would I agree to marry him? But he was adamant that we were incompatible because of arguments we had back then. However, he did mention that IF we ever get back, we would be better than before. And that he wanted to meet me a few months after our break up. It's been 3 weeks and I've been going to the gym regularly, hanging out with my friends, volunteering by teaching underprivileged kids and adhering to strict NC. He has not contacted me at all and I've not kept myself updated about what he has been up to. But deep down, I still feel that I love him and do feel that our issues are workable.

 

My question is:

1. At the end of the discussion, he did mention abt us being better if we were getting back together again and about future meet ups. Was he being civil or speaking out of guilt?

 

2. Considering my situation, is there any possibilities of reconciliation. We broke up amicably without much argument. I did not begged him to stay although I did propose fixing it.

 

3. Im thinking of doing NC another 3 more weeks before I initiate contact for a LC.

 

Please advise.

[JA0371]

I have a thread just below this one if you wanna read it ...'taking a break'.

 

Sounds like you're doing things right. Just keep your head held high and focus on you.

One thing Ive had challenges with is wondering what is the 'finish line' going to look like? That's a trap because there's a good chance we will NOT get back together BUT NC and distance has helped remove me from getting tangled up in that.

 

My ex and I are tentatively seeing each other next month...still more than a month away...and by then 3 1/2 months since we last saw each other. I have zero expectations at this point....but getting to this point hasn't been all that easy. Lots of tears, hurt...but I will survive. So will you. Stay busy. Stay active. Date again if you have the chance....or if you feel up to it. Just don't spend lits of time alone. If you're on FB with him...restrict your page to things he sees. Trust me..it helps.

[momo5]

I have a thread just below this one if you wanna read it ...'taking a break'.

 

Sounds like you're doing things right. Just keep your head held high and focus on you.

One thing Ive had challenges with is wondering what is the 'finish line' going to look like? That's a trap because there's a good chance we will NOT get back together BUT NC and distance has helped remove me from getting tangled up in that.

 

My ex and I are tentatively seeing each other next month...still more than a month away...and by then 3 1/2 months since we last saw each other. I have zero expectations at this point....but getting to this point hasn't been all that easy. Lots of tears, hurt...but I will survive. So will you. Stay busy. Stay active. Date again if you have the chance....or if you feel up to it. Just don't spend lits of time alone. If you're on FB with him...restrict your page to things he sees. Trust me..it helps.

 

Thank you for replying!! I can' t believe you replied when I just read your thread awhile ago. Good to know I'm right on track. I have been following everything according to whatever tips and guides I've read and yet the pain is still so profound. I'm crossing my fingers for you and hope you keep me in your prayer.

[jobelle]

I find this story very strange. So after 6 years he just came with religion incompatibility issues?? It sounds to me that he is not being 100% honest.

 

Regarding future meetups and whatnot. Whether he was just being civil or not depends on his personality type. However given the fact that he kinda gave you a timeline, I would think he means it. Otherwise he is just a massive jerk, stringing you along like that. And btw, a few months is way too long. I suggest you treat this as a proper breakup and keep on doing your thing. If you feel ready, definitely go on a couple of dates too.

 

Also, the ball is in his court now. Don't break NC and don't go LC. He should be the one reaching out because HE was the one to break up. Staying NC shows self-respect and if nothing else it will make him more attracted to you.

[momo5]

Thanks @jobelle, probably not just religion issues but also stressed up and being unhappy hence the need for a soul searching minus me by the side.

 

But thank you for your opinion and advice! I will keep on with NC for my sake.