Reconnecting with someone once the circumstances are right... Thoughts?

[Hemispheres]

Long read.

 

I just broke up with an older woman whom lives a good 2 hours away due to her busy schedule and hectic personal life. Don't get me wrong, everything was going pretty well until some recent happenings.

 

First she is 45 and I'm 27. When we first started dating she was working 4 days a week at a Government job. We were spending time together whenever we could during the week and fell madly in love after 2 months. She is much older but is very youthful and just lives a day at a time.

 

Go back about 2 months and one co-worker left so sometimes we werent able to see each other as often. Shortly after that things became bunpy because making plans in advance became cancellations so we just waited to see if she worked Fridays before making plans.

 

She isn't able to spend time with me on weekends because she has partial custody of her 14 year old daughter with her parents. Her ex husbands son molested her when she left h er at home by herself one day. Her daughter told a teacher a couple days later and police were contacted, CPS got involved and charges were filed. She wasn't charged but lost full custody and her parents make the rules as far as visitation goes. She must spend weekends with her daughter and given she lives 140 miles away she can't just come over after

her daughter returns with her parents.

 

This combined with her work life has left her little time for us. She got her current job through a temp agency. She for the past month has been working every Friday and next year she has to interview for the spot that was left open by her co-worker if she has any hope of keeping her job.

 

She is also a paranormal buff and is the head of a small team she has beeon trying for a while to make it big team and has stated this has been her dream for a while. She's been in contact with the head of a large east coast paranormal society and this past Sunday had a meeting with him. He said if she gets 2 more members to join they will make her group a small local branch and give her full funding for the proper equipment.

 

Since then she has been rather quiet and not in contact very much. I called her yesterday to see what was up since it came on so suddenly. She was obviously stressed and said she wasn't feeling well. We talked a bit mor"e about trying to get togetherfor the holidays and she dropped a bit of a bombshell.

 

She says she's very much in love with me but with work, her daughter and starting her dream of running a big time paranormal investigation team she doesnt have time to commit to me the way she did a few months ago.

 

She said we could continue to date but nothing too serious as far as commitment goes. I was crushed and told her I understood but I'm looking for something with long term potential.

 

We've agreed to stay friends, I'm going to see other people but she said she's focusing on her dream of starting and operating this business right now. She also said she was sorry but to check back in a few years if circumstances were right and if they are we could try and pick up where we left off. I asked if she was serious or if this was her way of saying she's not that into to me and she said she's very serious.

 

We said our goodbyes and will stay in contact on facebook. I'm not going to let this keep me from dating and finding love but I just wanted some input. Has anyone reconnected with an old flame after a mutual split, and if so how did it turn out?

[DoF]

She sounds like the type of person that wouldn't even make a good friend. Forget about "relationship material".

 

Then there is distance and fact that you simply cant be friends with people you find attractive, that's just ACTING like friends......

 

Stay FAR away from this person and don't look back, seriously.

[Hemispheres]

I've come to that revelation today. I told her if she really loved me she would find a way to make time. I'm not waiting for her.