pd8mxq Posted November 12, 2015 Posted November 12, 2015 been dating my boyfriend back since August, it has been 3 months. We FaceTime everyday due to distance (London vs Germany) and have seen each other in person a few weekends in between. Going into the end of October, I sensed something was not right. He became a bit less affectionate and sweet is his texts. FaceTime was ok. Last week he had to finally tell me why his action became distant as he saw how it affected me. He is being confused as his ex is back into the picture (an ex from last December after a 3 year relationship). After hearing the news, I asked if he wanted to break up, he said he does not know. He asked me to give him more time and he said this is not the end. One week on, he is still confused and said he hasn't got the time he needs since me and his ex are probably asking for a decision. I am lost as to what to do. Should I give him space but i am scared that he will leave if I do not care. Anyone had this kind of situation before?
melancholy123 Posted November 12, 2015 Posted November 12, 2015 Long distance relationships rarely work out. You have no way to know if he's telling you the truth. I say move on, this guy is backing off from you, there's an ex in the picture and who knows what else is going on. Find a guy in your area that you can see and be with properly.
abitbroken Posted November 12, 2015 Posted November 12, 2015 I am lost as to what to do. Should I give him space but i am scared that he will leave if I do not care. Your concern is your mental health and personal boundaries, not him, or at least it should be. He should know that you care, but that you care about yourself more. People respect people who don't let themselves be walked over. If it were me, I would busy myself with other things and I would stop communication. You want someone who is sure that he wants you. I would tell him that you care deeply for him, but are not going to disrespect yourself. Cut off communication. All of it. Tell him to only contact you again if he decides that it is you he wants to be with. If he contacts you in a week and says "what are you up to?" or something inane, don't answer it. Your time is too valuable and so is your heart. If you still communicate him while he is unsure, you are telling him that it is okay to walk all over you. He may eventually call or not. But if he doesn't, you can meet someone who is not confused and knows what he wants - you. I think that you should spend time with friends and family nearby so that you are not lonely and depending on him..
pd8mxq Posted November 12, 2015 Author Posted November 12, 2015 yes, that is what we agreed to do now. we both need time to be apart. it is my first time being in a situation like this so that;s why i wanted some opinion here. But thank you for the responses.
abitbroken Posted November 12, 2015 Posted November 12, 2015 yes, that is what we agreed to do now. we both need time to be apart. it is my first time being in a situation like this so that;s why i wanted some opinion here. But thank you for the responses. Don't sit and wait for him. think long and hard on what you do and don't deserve in the meantime.
catfeeder Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 If you were lonely before this relationship, choosing someone long distance won't alleviate that. If you were not lonely before choosing long distance guy, then being lonely now only confirms that it's not the best choice for you--go back to what you were doing before you met him. Add ex to the picture on top of this already being a bad deal? Dump his azz. Move your focus onto building your own social life and a love life that works for you--not against you.
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