I did it..3 months no contact! Feeling good! Stay strong everyone!

[kudos]

Hey everyone.

I wanted to write this to all of you out there that are suffering... I REALLY feel for you. My break up very nearly ruined me. But here I am 3 months on, and although I'm not completely over it, I'm feeling good again! Something I didn't think possible!

 

I feel I have grown massively as a person. You are going to be ok!!! I promise!

 

My story... ex of a year and a half broke up with me over text, out of nowhere, after a great but slightly tense weekend away together. We didn't fight and got on great with a lot in common. The spark had gone a little, but I was still very much in love looking forward to our future. Now I look back things weren't quite right for some time, but no where near bad enough for a break up. Or so I thought!

The text said he didn't think we were working, loved me as a friend and as a person, we were holding each other back from who we should be with, needed time alone etc! After crying on the phone and getting no answers, I respected his opinion and gave him that space, completely backed off! I'd have done anything to sort this out so giving him space seemed a good idea in hope he would come back. He didn't contact me and I didn't him until 9 days later when I text him asking where I stood. He said he loved me that I was amazing and beautiful and made him the happiest he's been in years but he thinks something wasnt right and we should go our seperate ways. I was absolutely heartbroke . But took the advice I was given and walked away. I never begged and at times over the last 3 months I regretted that and though I should have tried harder but now I am so glad I didn't. He wasn't willing to fight for me so I didn't for him. I deleted his number, removed him on Facebook and threw out everything i could that reminded me of him. I haven't contacted him since and it's been 3 months today!! The hardest 3 months of my life!

 

I started no contact in desperation to get back the love of my life. There was nothing I wanted more. He was the only thing on my mind for the first 2 months. I was in survival mode. Zombie mode! Threw myself into work. Cried on the shoulder of everyone that would let me! Cried everyday for 2 months. Cried myself to sleep every night! But never let him or any mutual friends know how hard it hit me. During this time i haven't heard a thing from him (which was my worst nightmare at first!)

Within a couple of weeks I found out there was someone else. Within weeks they were on holiday with each other, pictures all over Facebook, (yes I looked...bad idea! At this point I blocked then both, as we have lots of friends I common and didn't want it rubbed in my face!) I found out he had been seeing her when he was with me. This part still hurts, I don't know full details, not sure if I want to! She's younger and skinner.... typical! She did everything i did, i had been replaced! A few weeks ago he brought her to my work, knowing I would be there! and he completely ignored my existence! It hurt bad as i said in my previous post! But this was the turning point for me. It hurt more than ever but it drop kicked him off that pedistal that I put him on! This wasnt the amazing guy I thought he was, I don't want to spend my life with someone who could do that to me. I went into deep deep depression after this. Had to take time of work as I was an absolute mess! But I'm out the other side and feeling good! I dodge a bullet.

 

So for anyone recently broken up and struggling please go no contact!!! Walk away with your head held high! Even if your motivation for this is to get them back. It's a win win situation, you either get them back or you move on with your dignity. However much you want to don't beg them, in the long run you will feel good. They aren't as amazing as your heart is telling you they are! Revenge is VERY tempted but don't! I hate that girl more than anyone! But I'm not giving her the satisfaction! Karma will get them. No one can truely be happy living that dishonest life of hurting others.

I'm really proud with how I dealt with this break up. My first ltr break up, even at 27! I've walked away the better person ready for better things. I still have sad days and still cry. I'm still stupidly jealous of 'her'. I feel rejected. I miss his family. I miss the good times. But I know I'm so much better without him. Although this was my main aim at the start, i now dread the thought of him coming running back. I have a very strong feeling that one day he will. And I really really hope im strong enough to tell him where to go! They ate still together and going strong so it seems from my view! But don't think they will work out. Im slowly getting to the point where it doesn't matter if they do. Shes welcome to him.

Thank you everyone for your support!

These things will make you or break you. I know what I chose! Good luck everyone!!! Stay strong!!!!!!

[Heartsonfire12]

Wonderful update! I am so happy for you. My breakup was three months ago and there was limited contact...but I decided a few days ago to go strictly NC. Deleted on Facebook, phone number blocked, all the good stuff.

 

My question is this - how did you handle seeing him without losing it? My ex and I have some mutual friends so I am bound to encounter him. I don't know what to do if that happens.

 

So happy for you!

[kudos]

I did lose it just not in front of him! Took myself off and had a good cry. Dried my eyes and made sure I carried on as normal! I think they wanted a reaction, that's what motivated me to carry on like they weren't even there, while making sure I looked really happy....and hot!!! ;-)

Your doing everything right. It will be worth it. Good luck! X