heartbroken011 Posted November 9, 2015 Posted November 9, 2015 My ex and I broke up mid October because he said he wanted space to think and that he can see us being together later but not right now. And after three weeks of going back and forth we mutually agreed on a few things. One being that I do need to give him space in order for him to actually think, and that he needs to better understand that it is hard for me to do but I am working on it. So we agreed on that and during that talk he was saying that being with other people is "fair game" because he "doesn't expect us to hook up". We also agreed that we would still be friends like talking occasionally and hanging out occasionally as friends. So there is that. Then the next day we were casually talking and then he said how he know he shouldn't be saying this but that he really wanted to have sex. I could tell we both happened to be in a certain mood at the same time so I wasn't really thinking about it. I told him I know what he means by wanting to have sex but that I was on my period this week, and then he replied with it could be bad and I said that it's something we would have to talk about first. He then ended the conversation by telling me that I was "still a babe". The next day I realized I should have asked him more about why he said that at the time because it was something that completely contradicted what we had just talked about the previous day. It made me feel like he wasn't understanding how I feel at all. The rest of the week we talked here or there but not much. I wanted to bring it up and talk about it but I was waiting for him to say something first. I also felt like he didn't say anything because he knew I was on my period. A week later he text me and we are just having small talk but nothing about what has happened. Should I talk to him and ask him what that was all about a week later? I am trying to give him space by not talking about things like this but he kind of broke that rule first and then didn't explain anything about it and I am wondering what he was thinking when he said it. It contradicted everything he said before. Or should I not say anything and let it go or not bring it up until he says something again or brings it up first.
heartbroken011 Posted November 9, 2015 Author Posted November 9, 2015 Also he said being with other people is fair game but that he is not looking for other people to hook up with but if it happened then it happened.
j.man Posted November 9, 2015 Posted November 9, 2015 What do you need him to expound on? Dude laid it out pretty clearly. He wanted sex. There's nothing else to read into. If you want sex, too, then go for it. I highly doubt you've currently got the emotional capacity to handle sex with him right now, though. He's not interested in getting back together with you. He has been clear as day with you. Don't read further into it.
Clinton Posted November 9, 2015 Posted November 9, 2015 Ahhhhh, ex sex. Usually a baaaaaaad idea. Actually always a bad idea. But if you enjoy being used, go for it. He's laid out the ground rules. You can both have sex with anyone including each other so he's not gonna be exclusive. And this won't get him back. But I'm sure he'll enjoy the romp.
heartbroken011 Posted November 9, 2015 Author Posted November 9, 2015 I don't want to have sex with him if his feelings are still the same, I really wanted to ask him if he said that because his feelings might have changed because he completely contradicted himself. Should I not bother asking him that?
mhowe Posted November 9, 2015 Posted November 9, 2015 He was horny. Period. His feelings haven't changed.
Movingforward3 Posted November 9, 2015 Posted November 9, 2015 He wanted sex and likely thought that you being on the rag was an excuse not have sex. I would keep this open for communication and not bring the topic up.
DoF Posted November 9, 2015 Posted November 9, 2015 STOP ENGAGING WITH YOUR EX Stay away from him. Or go ahead and reset your healing and fall right into his trap. He is trying to pull you into sexual relationship and pray on your feelings/attachment to keep you there as well.....while he does whatever he wants with other people. If you proceed, protect yourself and get regular STD tests.
annie24 Posted November 9, 2015 Posted November 9, 2015 hahah, of course your ex wants sex with no strings attached. And I want to eat cookies and fried chicken all day and not get fat. We don't get always what we want in life.
Dottieflanogon Posted November 9, 2015 Posted November 9, 2015 He's just lonely from being single and wants some enjoyment, and since you two have a history it would be easy to have sex with you again. It'll make you seem easy, an even though the temptations there, I would leave it .If you simply need a physical release and you think he can give you one and you would be happy with that alone , nothing more, then go for it.
Doc Blaze Posted November 9, 2015 Posted November 9, 2015 You ever find it funny that he said he needed space yet he has time to still talk to you and still has time to(bring up) hooking up when he is in the mood.. Don't be an option. If I were you I would not of even agreed to hang out and talk as friends... If you keep this kind of contact even if you decide not to hook up you, are basically helping him to move onto someone else. Its all there in the paragraph he wrote. Sadly
ParisPaulette Posted November 9, 2015 Posted November 9, 2015 It means he wants you to accept a demotion from girlfriend to booty call and that's it. He's asking you if you're up for "just sex" without any commitment. And the whole "I'm not looking to hook up with other people, but if it happens it happens" is just his way of saying, "Yeah, but if I find a girl who's interested in sex I'm going for it, not gonna be faithful to you 'cause we aren't together and you can't get upset if you catch me." Plus he knows you have feelings for him and it's just easier for him to go hit on someone he knows probably won't say no than it is to go out and chat up girls and go through all the time and effort to find a new girl who'll let him have sex with her. Nonetheless he's made it very clear hooking up with you is all about sex, NOT getting back together. Fine if you want that demotion too and you're willing to relegate him to the status of booty call and nothing more. But otherwise my recommendation is don't do it or you'll end up feeling hurt and used when he finds another girl to have sex with. And he will sooner or later at which time he will totally drop you 100 percent--at least until he decides to use you again. It's pretty clear in what he said and wrote. You can hope he meant something deeper, but he didn't. It pretty much translates to "Hey, I can't find anyone else to have sex with right now, so you'll do for the moment." Sorry. Block him, go NC, move on and heal. The relationship is indeed over and he's just insulted you by trying to play on your feelings in the hopes you'll play human blowup doll. Hardly the actions of a man in love.
Missed Posted November 9, 2015 Posted November 9, 2015 Hmm yes he is just wanting to use you. I had an ex like that, stupidly I fell into his trap, he continued to sleep with me and other's.. (I was too immature to see how poorly I was being treated by him) What a jerk hey, after being with someone for so long then he goes and does that. Give your ex the boot. You are not a door mat..
Tanzi Posted November 9, 2015 Posted November 9, 2015 He doesn't want the commitment but he wants the sex .... and because you aren't ready to let go you are considering it. Your best option would be to say NOTHING .... and DO nothing. He's not really trying to understand how you feel. He is thinking only of his own needs. If he truly cared about you then he would leave you in peace so you could start moving on with your life. Instead he is willing to hold you back ... all so he can have sex. Giving someone space is NOT talking to them at all ... not just NOT talking to them about sex. There is too much communication here which is why there is so much confusion. You are either with someone or you are not. In this care you are NOT so you need to start looking at it and acting that way.
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