Honey Bunny Posted November 9, 2015 Posted November 9, 2015 Hello everyone, Please let me ask you for your opinions about my recent life. I am 30 and have a partner, 27, and a son, 9, which is not his. My partner is really nice, there is nothing to complain about, but the passion and sex. During the last three years (we've been together for almost seven), there is almost no sex in our relationship. I would beg him occassionaly in the past, bought sexy lingerie, tried to look hot when we went to sleep, etc. He just has not had much taste. And definitely did not have anyone else. I know that his sexual appetite is satisfied by masturbation at the PC. Ultimately, I lost the taste too. In the past I joked that I might find myself a lover and he said ok knowing that I am joking. We have a good relationship. Now we have been living as close friends, but make a really good family. Back to my problem now, what I joked about happened. I hadn't planned it. A man came into my life, 45, sexy, wild, full of energy with burning eyes. Oh, I fell for him. Let it 3 months of meeting and slow seducing, he texted me every day casually, called, wanted to see me. Then, we had some totally amazing, romantic, sexual whiles. Romantic texting and sexual intercourses lasted for a week when he basically kept asking me to be with him, leave my partner. I could not and cannot, I could never have him as a life-partner, there is my son and my partner who I still love. Then my older lover started to text me that he is returning to his ex, (but he didn't eventually), but we can still see each other when training my dog (he is a dog trainer). I said you broke my heart and some other things like how he could leave me after such beautiful moments but I did not force him to stay. He was apparently pleased by hurting me. After two days he began to send me seducing messages again. Then I responded and the next day when I texted him something funny and neutral and he answered back saying he loved me but it was not possible to continue our relationship. I said ok. Still we were in contact as friends but I just tried texting him some seducing messages which were replyied for my pleasure too. It was twice. Then I tried to ask him to the cinema with me, I thought that he was afraid I was with him only because of the sex. He replied no time during the whole weekend and said END again. I told him I loved him but am ok with it. Then it was the October 31. Then the last Saturday we saw each other when training dogs and he texted me something sexy, I replied and finished spending an evening with him - only an hour and a half. Never it was more, I did not want to and do not know wheter my lover wanted to be with me. But we did not have sex through my days just came. He told me he loved me, texted me on my way home and the next day he was again coldhearted. I texted him that I wished to have him, to have beautiful, wild sex with him but he replied he won't be available for the WHOLE NOVEMBER (definitely not true). He would say always never ever but it was always broken by him. I though he was just joking and could not understand why such a horny man did not want to have sex immediately the day I asked I said fine for myself but instead I tried to push him through ultimatum - obviously, no satisfying answer. Then my last texted words were 'I may see somebody on Friday, make up your mind what you want and see me please for 15 minutes'. The next day he answered I do not want you. And those were his last words. I do not understand why he is behaving this way. Why he lied to me that he could not see me, why he liked torturing me by playing cold, by saying he wants his ex, even though it was not true. Why he does not want to sleep with me despite my knowing that whenever I came over he became hard immediately How sexy. I do not understand his behaviour. He is not a high social class man nor very good-looking or financially stable, he's just sexy. Neverthelss, he is absolutely sexy and compatibile for me. And I am afraid that by saying I might see someone, which I didn't, I have made him think I was a and he may naver come back to me. This all happened during the past month. I don't know whether to stop. I really do not want to now. And please the question has nothing to do with my family life.
mhowe Posted November 9, 2015 Posted November 9, 2015 He has found someone else who will play by his rules, not yours. He is a sexy guy...he isn't doing without. Likely another one of his clients.
melancholy123 Posted November 9, 2015 Posted November 9, 2015 Wow you have been hit over the head with a big stick but it's not sinking in. This guy has moved on and you need to do the same. You have a partner and a child, what are you thinking? Begging and desperation are not good qualities in a person and you've displayed both. Time to quit running around and try to sort out your issues with your partner. If you didn't have a kid I'd say move on, but for the kid's sake you need to try to resolve your problems.
HeartGoesOn Posted November 9, 2015 Posted November 9, 2015 As far as I can see is the only "trap" is the trap you're setting for yourself. Having said that, cheating always has a way of coming back to bite you in one way or another. Your best option would be to either work on your current relationship, or be honest with your SO, and walk away. You can't have both.
Honey Bunny Posted November 9, 2015 Author Posted November 9, 2015 Thank you for your answers. I know I should move on... but do I want? Definitely not yet I still have fresh memories of the thrilling past. I know I won't leave my family and make anyone know. But I was not prepared that it may finish so early.
dias Posted November 9, 2015 Posted November 9, 2015 Thank God you have no remorse for cheating on your husband.
Honey Bunny Posted November 9, 2015 Author Posted November 9, 2015 I do not want to open this issue. It is complicated. Do you think he has any remorse witholding sex? Turning down my inititations? During the past eleven months we had sex three times There is not much remorse on my side. I have been cheating for the first time, wanted to finish it but not yet.
dias Posted November 9, 2015 Posted November 9, 2015 Withholding sex doesn't involve trust and respect. If you want to have an open relationship you should tell him or break up with him.
Dottieflanogon Posted November 9, 2015 Posted November 9, 2015 I would forget about the other man,You should be focusing on your partner . Either try to compromise or break up if you are not sexually compatible
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