htuos Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 Hi Guys, So me and my ex of 2 months mutually agreed to NC a few weeks back. (She broke up with me, after a long few weeks of being the most negative person ever). Yesterday she broke it, and I'd like to get your opinions on it, before my stupid mind wanders. Me and a friend were in the clothing shop where she works, and when I was leaving I looked at her and smiled. Just a smile of acknowledgement, nothing attatched to it. Afterwards I got a text from her, and the short conversation went as follows: "Please dont come in and ignore me again. Just say hi otherwise anxiety builds up as youre just strolling around avoiding eye contact and then I have to have a panic attack in front of everyone and id honestly rather not have that happen again. I know you smiled before you left but cmon I know i'm crazy and have been on off on off with liking you (Not true, this was just mind games before I decided I couldnt take it anymore), but if youre going to come into my work please please please don't avoid me it makes it awful" I then replied: "Hey ____. Jesus i'm so sorry that was not intentional. Are you okay?" - "Hey, yeah im okay now just got really upset so they sent me back for a while" -"That's good". and the conversation was over. So to put it all into context, yeah i'd love to have my ex back. I miss her alot. And the only reason we're not back together ( having agreed we still love each other ,are attracted to each other etc etc before we broke up), is because she continued to play mindgames for so long, and created so much negativity on her part towards me. What should I think of this ? Please don't give me some sarcastic "Ehhh..dont?" answer. Sometiems people on this are very helpful, if you're one of them i'd love to hear your thoughts. Thanks If you're wondering the reason behind my answers, and not just ignoring her. Is I realised a while back that my positivty can beat her negativity. When she used to suddenly turn awfully negative towards me, I would just ignore it, because she admitted before it's all mindgames. And if i answer calmly, decent, and positvely, it helped.
Astrogirl Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 Why did you go into her work? Sounds like you guys aren't over each other. Seems like she feeds off drama.
abitbroken Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 Why even go to the store she works at? There are other stores that you can go to, or I am sure you know what her day off is if there is absolutely no store you can possibly go to. It is not fair to intentionally go on her turf and set her back. I can sympathize with her being set back. If you run into someone a different and random way, its one thing, but I think you knowingly went in there trying to catch a glimpse. I do think that if you run directly into someone in public, it is okay to speak as if you are a normal customer if you had to. Like if you tried to avoid her checkout lane at the grocery store, but it was the only one open. Just like people who work together and only keep topics to the job at hand. It would be weird, but you are the one who showed up at her work - uncool. I think the bigger issue is not whether you talked to her or not - but the fact that you showed up at her place of business at all. You can't tell me there is not another location of this store in the next town or that there are no other stores you could possibly get what you needed at.
abitbroken Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 Why did you go into her work? Sounds like you guys aren't over each other. Seems like she feeds off drama. HE feeds off drama by even going in there. Of course she would be a little set back/surprised/off kilter by her recent ex showing up at work. It is sad when you see someone you just broke up with and they are right there waving themselves in front of your face and the fact that they barely acknowledge you rips your heart out - it makes things so more final when you are not to that point in the healing process or that the other person is a heartless jerk who has come to trample you.
htuos Posted November 8, 2015 Author Posted November 8, 2015 Yeah, that's really not the case. Thanks for your thoughts anyway. My ex girlfriend was a narcissist. The shop is where I buy my jeans, always have, always will. She usually works downstairs in the womens section, so I didn't expect to see her there. She's the one who's always "fed off" drama actually, hence trying to blame me for her having a panic attack just by existing.
HeartGoesOn Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 So me and my ex of 2 months mutually agreed to NC a few weeks back. (She broke up with me, after a long few weeks of being the most negative person ever). Yesterday she broke it, and I'd like to get your opinions on it, before my stupid mind wanders. I'm sorry but she didn't break your "mutually agreed NC," you did. Obviously by showing up at her work place, your intent was to get a reaction from her, and it backfired. The bottom line is that no matter how you spin it, if she wants to be with you she knows where to find you.
htuos Posted November 8, 2015 Author Posted November 8, 2015 Right, this was pointless. Thanks anyways
Astrogirl Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 Sorry, but you broke NC first, not her. Okay, she had a choice not to respond, but you knew there was a chance she could be around. You smiled and that was decent of you. However, I think she got a reason to respond dramatically.
Bunney Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 She's the one who made the relationship go on a downward spiral, breaks up with you, then freaks out at you for not talking to her when you simply go into the store you ALWAYS go to for buying jeans? Honestly just from what you wrote I can tell she's cray cray. Needs to get her panic/anxiety attacks under control. NOT normal behavior. Why on earth would you want someone like that back? You said yourself she's a narcissist.
Yusa Posted November 17, 2015 Posted November 17, 2015 Please, never ever try to get involved with narcissistic people again. They'll suck up your precious energy and soul. They're like Dementors on earth.
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